Monday, 24 May 2010
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I Want a Man, But I Don't Need One
I know many girls who are so wrapped up in looking for a boyfriend, they lose sight of who they are. They change so they can snag a boy; any boy. I find this troubling. I hate to see girls do this.
I like to think I'm a strong, independent woman. I want a man, but I don't need a man. I can hold my own and live my life without one. Many girls I know and go to school with aren't happen unless their in a relationship. They say 'I love you' ten minutes into the first date. Then, when their broken up with a few days later, their crushed. They have no value of themselves unless their with a man.
I don't need a man to make me happy.
I live my life, and strive to achieve my goals, and if a guy should come into my life and enrich it by helping me reach my goals, and supporting me, so be it. If there isn't a guy with me, I have my friends; my personal cheerleaders. I'm not going to settle for a man that's not right for me. Much too often girls depend on a guy for their happiness, and it's wrong. Women should be independent and know their self worth. Every girl is a beautiful individual. I want them to realize that.
You don't need a man to be happy.
Thoughts?
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About the Author
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- From: chrissiibear@xanga
- Name: Christina
- About Me: Chrissi. | Single. | RHS. | Feminist. | Chemistry Nerd. | I'm just a girl doing the best with what I've got. I'm cliche and want a love like in fairytales, and I adore thunderstorms. My favorite food is spaghetti and I'm a chai tea addict. I'm pro-choice and very much against racism. Social libral, fiscal conservetive. Get to know me via my blog. Message me with any questions(:
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Comments (99)
perfectamente.
"If I can't get a decent boyfriend, there must be something wrong with me."
Amen, sista...my sentiments exactly.
true! kudos to you. my best friend is like that... and it's getting into my nerves! she goes to desperate measures just so she could have one... ugh~
I agree with this to an extent. I went through a big break up that led me to re-evaluate my entire life and I realized that I needed to be happy with myself. The last year and a half or so really showed me that life is short and I need to do things for me.........after a million and one wrong turns, I finally started changing my life around to actually work on me. I kept trying to work on me before that, but instead just went out partying a lot and clubbing, thinking that would help me become more confident and find the right guy...........WRONG. When I actually stopped being wild and crazy, and came to terms with how vulnerable I could be, I became stronger. I am fine with being single, I came to terms with a lot of things while single, but I must say, I am a lot better off when I'm in a relationship. CORRECTION: I'm better off when I'm in a relationship with the RIGHT PERSON. When you're finally loving who you are as a person and embracing that you are vulnerable but resilient in the face of adversity, the right person comes along and loves you all the more because YOU love yourself.
Loving yourself is key. I dont need a man to be happy, but I'm a lot happier because of the man I have in my life.I dont need a man, but I'd like to have a companion someday
I love this post.
I honestly don't need a man to complete me. :) but iI must say it is quite nice to have one by myside right now. :)
Good. Especially the title to this! It's what we all should be saying... yay for this. :)
definitely agree with you!
men are like accessories because we don't need them but sometimes they do make my outfit stand out
it isn't right to be so preoccupied looking for a guy just to have one... the right one will come along... good post miss =)
I've been a single mom for almost 2 1/2 years now, I've dated here and there, but haven't found anyone I want to share my life with. Of course, I'd love to find that person, but until then, I'm happy with the way my life is now. If I spend the next 15 years single, but my daughter has a happy loving safe childhood, I'm totally okay with that. Also, I'm almost 26. Not quite a grown up, but not a young adult. At this point, I know who I am. And I'm ok,ay with that too.
Buddhist philosophy says that seeking happiness thru external sources (like a boyfriend) leads to depression. Only seeking happiness thru internal sources, like thru developing our inner stregnth, do we achieve peace.
Food for thought
I definitely agree with you. Well written piece aswell! :)
Once a guy told me I was never going to get married because I was too independent and men where intimidated by that...
and Im like mmm really? Its not that Im independent I just think I dont need to be whining and annoying 24/7 there are many things one can fix or do on her own, without bothering people....
but can you believe the nerve!!!!
True.
You don't need a man to complete you.
You are complete as an individual. As yourself.
It's like that PCD song, "I Don't Need a Man." Relate-able to this post. :)
@PseudoEuphoric@xanga - I loved that quote, it was amazing!
I totally agree with this post, it was great. Up until recently I didn't like anyone, and it took me a while to realise it, because I've had boys on my brain since I was 15. Even after my 2.5 year relationship, and almost a year of being single I realised that I had always been obsessing over some one.
I used to love myself when I was 15, and that's when I met my first love. Right now, I don't love myself, but I'm just starting to learn to accept myself, and then like, and perhaps love will come. It's been good to have been by myself for the past 10 months, it's been hard being alone, not having that other person to turn to. But I stopped trusting myself along time ago, and that's why I needed to be alone. I left my relationship not knowing who I was anymore, I was 18 when he and I broke up, and I was a very different person from that 15 year old girl that I had once been. I needed to re-evaluate myself and my life, because I wanted different things from my relationship.
Thanks for this post. It was nice to read and good to know that I am not alone.
I really like this post.
True.
I know this.
I just forget it sometimes and have to remind myself/
i'm not so strong or independent, but i'm happy with who i am. i'm 19. i've had 2 relationships in my life and though i'm in one now, i took a year off to refocus my life in the right direction, after the first one ended, on my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. i'm not desprate for attention from guys, even my bf. its just not who i am. i'm no feminist, i just know that a man isn't what i need to make me happy.i've found joy and peace in Christ, and i'm more than contetnt to live my life for him in purity, even if it were that i'm not meant to marry, i know i'll always be content, because i haveeverything i need in Him. i am very thankful for the man in my life, but know that if things don't work out, i'll not be alone. :)
@PseudoEuphoric@xanga - I remember something similar to that - but its about soul, and how it's split in half when you're born - 1 boy and 1 girl -- which is why you're always in search of your soul mate
Back to the topic: I agree - a man is a want not a need. You dont need nobody to complete you. You're whole on your own
@PseudoEuphoric@xanga - That quote actually refers to friends, not lovers, which the greeks prized higher than romantic love. According to Aristotle, every person is supposedly looking for their perfect friedn who was once their other half. Sorry to be nitpicky, but i had to point that out, as a girl who will ALWAYS love and value her friends over her lovers, and is shocked that the rest of the world doesn't agree.
Sure, we want a man, but we don't need a man.
as time goes... and we get older...
a want will become a need...