Sunday, 23 May 2010
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Cheating, But Only in Dreams
I've been with my boyfriend for about 9 months now and I love him very much. Of course I'm still young and may have a wandering eye from time to time, but who doesn't? It certainly doesn't mean that I'd ever cheat on him or anybody for that matter.
Anyways, to the point, lately, I've had quite a few dreams involving me cheating on my boyfriend. I wasn't single in my dreams, I was fully aware of my relationship status but for some reason I always found myself in a situation where I just couldn't help myself and indulged in whatever yummy guy was in front of me at the moment.
The disturbing thing is that these are guys I know in real life and deem attractive. But, I've always drawn the line at making out. However, last night, I dreamt of me actually sleeping with someone I know and asking him to never tell my boyfriend. It was really intense and I couldn't help but think it was real. Even though it was just a dream, I felt so guilty when I woke up from it.Have you ever "dream-cheated" on a spouse or significant other? How did you feel about it? Did you ever tell them?
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- From: KassieintheSkywithDiamonds@xanga
- About Me: I haven't quite figured myself out just yet.
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Comments (34)
I've done this before with my ex, it got so bad that I would fantasize about the other guy while we having sex. And I did feel guilty, but it never went father than that. But we ended up breaking up later on anyway. In my case I wasn't happy and I probably thought the other guy would appreciate me more. But I never cheated, I dreamed about it, and thought about it. I never told my ex, even after he broke my heart, I don't think he would want to know. Its a terrible thing to tell someone that you dreamt about being with other guys.
Yep, I dream I cheat on my husband. Sad to say so, but it's only a dream. As long as you don't act on it than you are fine. I've found that when I have my 'cheating' dream, it means that I want to spice it up in the bedroom a bit more. We have a crazy, wild, passionate sack-session and everything is just hunky-dory after that. Maybe it means the same for you too?
YES i have been having the same sort of dreams lately!! i don't worry too much about it..i don't think i would ever cheat..but no, i do NOT tell him about them.
i think i just have them because i miss being single sometimes..we work out conflicts in our dreams we don't want to deal with in real life. still, i don't want to break up and be single again. so in a way i just "pretend" in my dreams.. if that makes sense..
I have, and to make it worse, in the dream I was with my ex, even though during my waking hours I don't have feelings for him anymore.
However, I know that guys have sex dreams a lot--my bf has said he's had dreams about having sex with girls other than me, and also dreams about us having a threesome with another girl.
Sex dreams happen. Whether or not they mean anything, we may never know, but I think as long as both people are happy and committed in real life, they are nothing to worry too much about.
As long as you don't act on your dream urges, you should be fine. I've had sex dreams where I've slept with exes, exes' family members, guys that work at my mom's office, other women, etc, but I've never given in (or wanted to give in) to any of those urges during my waking hours, so I don't let it bother me. Sometimes I do kind of enjoy it, though; I'm so much more sought after in my dreams than I am in real life xD
I don't have very vivid dreams in general, so I rarely, if ever, have "adulterous" dreams. My fiance, on the other hand, has them all the time, but they are mostly comedic in nature. There is nothing wrong with having sexual dreams of any kind, though. There is very little most people can do to change the content of their dreams. : )
Yesss, I've been having them a lot and they make me feel all weird after.
I think this is a common thing in relationships.
My boyfriend and I shared our dreams because
1) We feel bad about it
2) We understand it's just a dream
Some people say don't act on your dream. You shouldn't go for your ex or the boy your cheating with, but do act in a way that doesn't make you feel like you have to hide this from your boyfriend. This is something that you should be able to confide in your boyfriend about (if he means that much to you). Otherwise, it's going to bottle up inside and cause more problems.
It simple is a dream (or a nightmare). Help your boyfriend (and yourself) understand that the dreams mean nothing. That there is nothing bad about these dreams.
By hiding them or keeping them from your boyfriend, you make the dream a taboo topic, something that should be avoided and soon a secret. I don't know if you keep secrets in your relationship, but try your best not to make silly dreams a big deal by making it a deep dark secrets.
I've had several dreams that left me distraught.
1) Cheating on my boyfriend
2) Him cheating on me
3) Us being in other relationships
4) Us breaking up
These are just dreams. Sometimes I wake up and I just call him that I've had a bad dream.
Interesting... maybe you should explore more about what the possible reason for having these dreams is. Personally, I dream about crazy, odd things, but rarely have sexual dreams or anything like that. >_< So no, I've never experienced anything like that.
Oh my goodness, this has been happening to me so much. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 9 months. But I keep having dreams about being with another guy. Like, knowing I have a boyfriend, but just kind of ignoring it and cuddling or trying to be with this other guy [that I know and think is attractive in real life]. I don't know if I've actually done anything other than cuddle or try to be with the guy in my dream, but I feel guilty when I wake up. I love my boyfriend, but I'm thinking that maybe, I dream about other guys because I'm not as happy as I could be with my bf? I don't know. =[
Yes, although it's only with one other person. And it's the same person every time. But I don't tell my boyfriend.
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Always dream-cheat. Never feel guilty, because it gives me a chance to wander and experiment, without actually doing anything wrong, and without hurting anybody or being hurt in the end.
dream cheating happens to me once and a while. sometimes i told my boyfriend one of them and i think he took it pretty well.
the others though, i just don't cuz they're not really taht important and they're just dreams after all. i mean, it's not like you can control them.
I'm in the reverse- he dream cheats with mutual friends. He tried to tell me once and I asked him never to again.
I know they mean nothing. But at the same time- awkward much?It's like a guy looking at porn- I respect you have needs, but I have about as much interest in hearing them as you do hearing about my period.
I've always had risque dreams for about as long as I can remember. Sometimes involving guys I knew in real life, sometimes not. Back when I was dating my now-husband, I'd had a particularly detailed dream (though not based on anything that actually happened in real life) about an ex of mine, and I felt guilty about it... as if I expected that part of my brain to just turn off now that I was in a loving and committed relationship!
I told my guy about it (no details, just that I'd had a dream about this other guy and I didn't like how it was making me feel) and he said not to worry about it. He said he knew I would never act on these things in real life; he said it didn't bother him and I shouldn't even give it a second thought.
Now that we're married, I sometimes still have dreams about other random guys, but the majority of that type of dream is based around my husband. Either way, I don't worry about it and I don't give it a second thought once I wake up. That fact that I dreamed it doesn't at all reflect on what I would do in real life, and I think it's that way for the majority of people.
@Nawnaa@xanga - that's a good way to look at it
its happened to me, too - even though I would never do that in a million years.
its weird, and you can't really control your dreams either so I wouldn't worry.
oh yes... its happened a number of times. for a while i kept dreaming about cheating on my boyfriend with my coworker who i always had kind of a crush on. it made working with him very difficult indeed...
I usually can't see the faces of the guys in my dreams. my dreams aren't of me having sex with other guys but these guys just touch me and it does feel real as if I just got an inappropriate massage in my dreams. I think it is a hidden message that I'd like to be treated like a pampered queen instead of just him mainly seeing me as his sex toy
I didn't feel that appreciated in real life.
You're not alone. I actually thought I was the only one.
this post made me laugh =)
It's okay girl. I recently had a dream where I was making out with this guy I find attractive, but in my dream I stopped because I felt so guilty and when I woke up I felt incredibly guilty. I couldn't shake the feeling off. But really, it's JUST a dream and I would NEVER cheat on my boyfriend. So a dream's a dream. No worries.
Sometimes the cheating dreams do occur when we're experiencing some kind of conflict in our relationship, so maybe that's a factor?
I always tell my boyfriend when I dream,
he seems to think it's funny, just like I do.
Like @Lydia_Lynne@xanga - said, maybe you need some spice in the bedroom.