Sunday, 23 May 2010

  • More than a Crush but Not Yet Official


    On April 6, I ventured into a new job and little did I know I was coming into a new world of my own. Different. Life-changing. I never knew that one small thing such as getting a job would change my life. But it did.

    Along with that new job, I started working with someone I never knew I'd see again - a crush from high school. After the interview, he texted me out of nowhere, obviously getting my number from one of the various status posts with my phone number. He asked how the interview was, and since I knew how awesome this was receiving a text from an old crush, I decided to try my best to keep the conversation going. At first, it was boring. But he started to come out of his shell.

    I started to become accustomed to talking to him every day, and the more I spoke to him, the more I grew to like him, and eventually I begged him to hang out with me. After a few times of hanging out with me, he made it clear that he had thought about getting with me in the past. No, not in the sexual way. More of a relationship, but he was a little bit off on the side because of certain actions and my stupidity of dating other people before he had the true chance. 

    It took three times of hanging out for me to kiss him. When it happened, we were sitting in the Wal Mart parking lot, trying to find something to do. It was 11 p.m. at the time, and we had a few more hours to hang out. The conversation became dry, but it was only because I was trying not to feel so nervous. And all of a sudden it got quiet for a few minutes. I finally said "fuck it!" and went in for the kill. It was almost like something you'd see in a movie after all this tension built up, someone finally ends up doing what you hoped they'd do all along.

    His first words: "that was random." Yeah, it was random, but it was the start of something beyond words.

    Over the last few weeks, things have only been getting better. We never find something to do when we hang out, but we definitely enjoy each other's company. That's more than I can say with any ex-boyfriends I have ever dated. His kisses are perfect, and I couldn't be any happier that I finally tried to do or say something to him to show him that I'm here and that I actually like him.

    Today...we exchanged those three words. The catch? We're not official. We haven't been seeing other people, and we both know there is no problem with that or trust. He's just taking it slowly and making me almost want to take matters into my own hands... but I don't think that's appropriate (I might do it anyway, though).

    My question: How long does one have to wait before they finally have to give up?

Comments (34)

  • IridescenteMemoria@xanga

    Wait..you two just started talking/hanging out/crushing and you've already said I love you? Doesn't seem fitting.


    Anyway.
    Don't worry so much, just go with the flow. Sometimes slow is good.

  • PrettyKitten

    Well when it becomes obvious to everyone that something's going on and when you don't really feel as though you need to *not* make it official, then you'll make it official. In other words, when you're ready. :P lol. Good luck with him.

  • cubancutiepie@xanga

     I do agree with taking things slowly. It's been roughly almost two months, no need to rush, right? I mean, unless you know you're having to move someplace or some other circumstance that will lead you far from him and you're wanting to seal the deal.


    Being in love and being ready for a full-fledged relationship are two different things. He may be scared........who knows! Just enjoy the time you are spending together, regardless of whether there's a title attached. Why do you need a title if both of you are committed and enjoying the time you have together?
  • Kiwi7534@xanga

    wait! how long have you been "seeing each other" before you guys exchanged i love you's? Only curious. All the luck to you though, it sounds like you are very happy! :)

  • xitlalika@xanga

    just be careful and try try try not to get hurt!!

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  • eabyourheartout@xanga

    Maybe he feels as if since neither of you are seeing other people, theres no need to have that talk about being "official" because he assumes it already is.


    Also, if not, don't rush things. Enjoy your time together and let things happen naturally. Sometimes trying to put a label on relationships can screw things up.

  • lil_fire_bella@xanga

    Putting a label on things is more for other people than yourselves. As long as you two know whats going on between you, you don't really need to go "official".

    On a side note, wow, you're brave. I don't think I could ever make the first move. I'm just not that impulsive. hahah and I suck at going with the flow.

  • supaflychikn@xanga

    odd, i'm in almost exactly the same situation. but we're not 'allowed' to be official. so for me, the question becomes, how long does one stay in a secret unofficial relationship? blah.

    if i were you, i'd just bring it up with him. i have a tendency to do that; it's never really been an issue.

  • Pcgecko85@xanga

    stop with the labels and go with the flow.  You young people make everything so complicated. 

  • xXHiyonoXx@xanga

    I wouldnt rush things. As a poster said befor..If your going to move far off and never see him again okay can see that.But enjoy the little things. ^^

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  • Thumper49047@xanga

    I'm confused. How can you practically done everything, even said I love you, and not be official? Maybe I'm missing something now but, what is official?!

  • tarynhulse

    @IridescenteMemoria@xanga - No, we've known each other for years.

  • tarynhulse

    @Thumper49047@xanga - We're like boyfriend and girlfriend, but the label hasn't quite been attached.

  • tarynhulse

    @xXHiyonoXx@xanga - @cubancutiepie@xanga -  Interesting that you both state something about me moving away. there's a chance I'm moving to California in July. He brought it up last night as one of those "Before we make this official..." conversations. I'm still on the fence on whether I want to go or wait, because we BOTH want to be in California. Me sooner than him, though.

  • IntheGoldenWest@xanga

    @lil_fire_bella@xanga - I agree with the label thing. People pay too much attention to labeling their relationship with someone, like the whole "facebook official" thing. That's not important. The relationship itself and how it grows is important.

  • IntheGoldenWest@xanga

    You sound really happy though! I hope you two enjoy your time together and have a great relationship. 

  • MERCEDES9008@xanga

    Girl iwould say go for it. As long as you feel hes


    real when he says it it doesnt really matter how


    long you 2 have been dating ur both grown && ithink


    you old enough ta decide how you feel && if its real


    or not. No-one can tell you how you feel or how to feel


    at that matter.

  • anonymous

    It depends on the person.

    I'd rather take it slow but maybe that's just me, too.

    I've found if people ask me out within 3 days to a week of knowing me and becoming official so quick, it doesn't last long at all.

    In fact, this "non"-relationship that I'm in right now, if you will, has been my longest person to stick around. Yeah, I'm one of those that can't keep them past a month, haha, well that's IF it's official.

    See we've been non-official for at least 3+ months now.
    Hopefully we'll be official some day, but I'm in no rush.

    I feel like we're official anyway. We talk and act like it. :P

  • cubancutiepie@xanga

    @tarynhulse - I'm moving to Cali. DO IT! Cali is awesome :)

  • tarynhulse

    @IntheGoldenWest@xanga - Thanks a lot for the support :)


    @MERCEDES9008@xanga - I know. We've known each other for a long time, though, so I don't know why it would seem so shocking to someone that we've ALREADY exchanged the three words since April 6th. We're both 20, and we've both been in relationships long enough to know what real love is and what isn't. This is real. :)

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  • Danielle_disaster@xanga

    I say wait! I found myself in the same situation actually and I waited cause I didn't feel it was appropriate for me to do it. He finally asked to make it official and it was the sweetest moment. It was so perfect. and because we had been in that boyfriend/girlfriend stage without labels for so long actually putting the label on it didn't change anything. You guys sound really cute together. so wait! and i wish you guys the best!!

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