We live in a world where love is free. Few wait until marriage, and sex is, at the very least, no longer taboo (Thanks, Carrie Bradshaw!). We have the sex talk somewhere between the ages of 13 and 15, and by 16 many ships have set sail.
But while health class has become mandatory in public schools in various states across the country, it seems to me that many high-schoolers are seriously zoning out on one very important lesson in the "Sex-Ed" section - condoms are used not only to protect against pregnancy,
but also to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. This means that even if you are a female on birth control, the use of condoms is still necessary whenever you are having sex with a new partner - someone whose history you do not yet know.
At the risk of sounding like the health teacher you zoned out on: Don't be fooled. Maybe you think you know someone. Maybe you think you know the person's full history, have hooked up with the person before, know his ex-girlfriend, or - my favorite - checked his genital area and decided "he doesn't look infected with anything". It doesn't matter. Many people carry diseases for years without knowing (and likewise, without any of their sexual partners knowing) they are doing so.
You don't know your sexual partner's history until you have "the talk" about his last STD check-up.
"The talk" is always going to be awkward. To make it a bit easier, keep in mind that you don't necessarily need to go through a list of both of your previous hook-up buddies with a highlighter, marking those with diagnosable STDs (hey - there are some things you just don't wanna know).
What you really need to do is to discuss each of your respective past STD check-ups; if one or both of you have had partners since your last check-up, it's time to get re-checked.
It sounds like a hassle, I know. It would be so much easier to rip off that condom and get down to business. Whenever the temptation to do so is there, however, just remember - an STD is a much more enormous hassle than a check-up will ever be. I know 4 girls this year alone who not only contracted STDs, but didn't
know they had contracted them until a later partner asked them to go get checked out. Some of them are incurable.
Don't let this happen to you.
Does anyone out there know a good way to have "the talk" that isn't painfully awkward for both parties? What about other surprising STD stories? Are there other reasons you all might know that explain why STDs are spreading like wildfire?
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Comments (29)
Dude, I just ask.
i ask before anything happens. i don't see why
it should be awkward, it's your health, protect it! and if the guy isn't
willing to talk about it OR take a test then he doesn't deserve any lovin!
with my fiancee i told him that i want to get testede nd than he told me he had never been tested (he was 18 nd had been having sex since 13) lmfao wow who does that but thank god he was clean and so was i
I plan on asking to get tested at my next OB/GYN appointment.
I think stds are spreading because they don't bother to do regular checkups and just blindly trust the person so they casually ask each other if they're clean and both quickly say yes, then have sex. they think that as long as they use protection/condoms, then it will prevent stds, but isn't the guy's testicles also susceptible of retaining viruses too since it does come in contact with her bare flesh, so the contagious viruses can gradually spread to his penis?
Now that I'm single and playing the field again, I'm going to get myself checked every few months even though I plan on wearing a condom. That's just one area of my body I don't gamble with.
I also want someone can find the less awkward way to do it but this topic is just that special...let's see if somebody can figure it out and leave a comment
i date virgins..=/ and he uses condoms so i don't get pregnant..simple as that.
Usually, I'm the one to say something like "Oh, I got tested by the way" or something along those lines, so it comes up in conversation and we discuss it.
STD's are spreading due to promiscuity and people thinking it can't or won't happen to them.
I don't think it's awkward.
If your partner has a problem with getting tested,
kick him/her to the curb.
@JellyBeeen@xanga - Ditto. Anyone who's worth it will be willing to get tested, for your sake and for theirs. Why wouldn't someone want to?
The conversation shifts from awkward to berserk when someone finds they contracted HIV.
Better safe than sorry, they say.
Been tested.
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well ive been dating my bf for almost 4 years and i dont have to worry about stds at all cuz we're both virgins. I think people shouldnt have to worry about them bc people need to stop sleeping with multiple different people! if you give yourself away to just anyone, then it will never be special when you find that special one person in your life. Me and my bf are waiting till marriage
Even if they have "been tested" you should still use a condom! People lie, they could have just gotten something that didn't show up on the test yet, and they could have something like HPV that isn't tested for and that usually has no signs in a lot of people and is currently spreading like wildfire.
@Hinase@xanga - just because they're virgins doesn't mean they can't contract STDs.
@kuexbby@xanga - true, but then again dating doesn't mean being sexual active with them. I kind of wait and be in the a very serious relationship(with them) before doing that...=/ I just don't give away freely.
Good Post!
I did my final speech for the semester on getting tested. Yeah, it's an awkward subject, but it's necessary.
I don't play around or sleep around. I lucked out, and was very unlucy at getting any dates in highschool and elswhere. The minute I would try I would be looked at like some pervert or freak so I didnt bother much with it. I sowed myoats by getting married and am so glad I dont have all that baggage to drag into my life and for others, not to mention all the emotional baggage I would have gone through. Up to you, you want to play around, just remember you can only blame yourself with playing with fire. Some people have STD's and wount even tell you because there not legally responsible to do so, you have no right to know.
why is it awkward. i just ask straight up about it. it's never been awkward. i think they actually appreciate my frank attitude towards the subject.
Fucking moron.
Why should it be awkward. I think it'll be more awkward when later down the line you both have herpes or something and he got it from some ex.
Just ask. And if he goes as far as pulling "Don't you trust me" crap tell his ass you trust him but you don't trust all the vaginas (hopefully only vagina's) he's been in
just be used to and open to talking about any/everything so it all seems natural...