Thursday, 20 May 2010
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Is Marriage On Your Radar? Should It Be?
This past weekend, I went to a wedding shower for a girl that I've known my whole life. She's a few years older than me, and has been engaged to her college sweetheart for about the last year or so. At the shower, I was sitting at a table with some of her close friends and bridesmaids. All of the girls were around twenty-four or twenty-five, and all but two or three were married.Now, I'm twenty going on twenty-one this coming fall. Sitting there making small talk, it hit me sometime between my chicken caesar salad and overly frosted cake that these girls -- these women -- were only four or five years older than me, and married. Some even made for less of an age gap, and a couple of them even had children.
As if that thought wasn't mind-blowing enough, it then occurred to me that the bride-to-be started dating her now fiance their freshman year of college. Wait, wait. I'm going to be a senior in college, and marriage isn't even close to being on my radar. But amongst all the ribbons, cookbooks, and monogrammed towels, I got to thinking: maybe it should be.
Don't get me wrong, I know early marriage isn't for everyone, and there's no reason for me to follow suit just because. My dad offered me some words of wisdom on the matter and said, "Don't get married until you're at least thirty. I was thirty, and hey look, it turned out fine for me." Well, okay, dad. If you say so. Thirty seems a little old to me, but on the flip side, twenty-something looks pretty damn young from where I'm standing. I guess everyone finds out what works for themselves and goes with it. According to a good friend of our family's "You'll know when you're ready to get married, and that's all it really comes down to."
How old were you when your got married?
OR
If you could pick an ideal age to be married, what would it be?
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About the Author
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- From: stateofhart
- About Me: I’m twenty years old, and just trying to figure the world out. So far, I feel I’ve been somewhat successful. People often tell me that I have a one-track mind, and I don’t necessarily think that that’s a bad thing. I like using semi-colons and taking calculated risks (however oxy-moronic that may be). Killer whales are my favorite animal, and I'm mildly obsessed with World War II movies. I am indecisive as all get out, and have been known to change my mind. Sometimes I talk too fast, and my words come out all spun together and sloppy. I am the world's illiterate, forever in search of some poetry. But really, more than anything, I'm just a work in progress.
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Comments (92)
I feel too young to be married, I'm 21. I feel like even the thought of considering marriage right now is hilarious. We've only been together three years and we're only just moving in together. I'm not even sure I want to get married. Not in sight for me for a while. If I were to get married, probably late 20s early 30s.
I'm 23. I'm not ready for my life to be over yet!! ;D
Nope. :)
I got married when I was 20. My husband was 19. I got pregnant with our daughter at age 21 and gave birth at 22. Now I'm 23 (turned in March) and pregnant again, due in Nov. So I'll be 23 when this baby is born. I agree with that last line. "You'll know when you're ready to get married, and that's all it really
comes down to." I was ready young. So was the hubs. But some people aren't. Some people aren't ready until after 40 even! It's all about the different people involved in the relationship. Everybody goes at their own pace.
I'm 25 and the older I get the more I'm leaning toward sometime after 30. I think I'll have accomplished some of what I want to see done and be in a better place to handle that kinda stress.
im only 19 going on 20.i cant picture myself to married in these few years.maybe when i turn 28
I'm 23 now and couldn't imagine being married now. I'm thinking because I'm still in school. I think after I graduate, I will be able to imagine myself doing down that path.
I'm 19. It is shocking how many of my old friends are married, engaged, or parents right now. I don't want to even think about marriage before I am out of college. Actually, I don't even know if I ever want to get married. I am just taking things as they come.
I'm all set with getting married for now. I'm 23 and I plan at least waiting another 5 years.
Your family friend is right. I'm 24 and I have loved being single since like, 16ish (before that I wall boy crazy). Anyway, I now feel the pull towards marriage. It's kinda scary. I can say that now, I can get married. The ready part of getting married is a different story, but it's almost a huge yes. Am I marriage crazy? No! I know that when the time comes it will come and then I'll know. I will say that once a person realizes they maybe ready for such a lifechanging decision, it's kinda scary. Lastly, 30 is too old to be getting married for me as well. :)
Age doesnt matter in marriage anymore. Marriage will come knocking on your door when you least expect it. =)
If I ever plan to get married it would have to be after 30. I have plans to get many advanced degrees which will take me up until my very late 20s. Getting married before then would only get in the way of my ambitions.
My ideal marriage date would be until I can get financial stable to start a family. So probably never. It is kinda scary though that most my friends either have kids or are married. I don't understand that. I'm still in my 20's. I wanna party, I wanna take trips, I wanna do things whenever I want. Why do people wanna throw away their freedom so badly?
marriage is definitely not anywhere on my radar. if you think about it, you have a very small amount of time to enjoy life as a single. and it is a VERY SMALL amount of time in a given lifespan. most people i know have never and will never experience it. this is the only time you can do things for yourself and at your own pace, where you don't have to feel like you're responsible for anyone other than yourself. based on the life expectancy, if you marry around 35 years old, you're committed with that person for another 40 plus years. so why rush it?
i'm 22 and have been with my boyfriend since i was 19. if things continue going well, we'll probably get engaged next year and get married when i'm 25/26ish... which feels really weird because (almost) everyone i know in that age range is single and partying all the time and shit. idk, it really depends on what crowd you hang out with.
it feels like i'm too young to have found "the one" quite yet, but hey whatever happens, happens. you gotta roll with it. whenever you find that person is when you're ready. also, i'd kind if like to have kids at a youngish age. i used to think i'd wait till i was 30+ to start popping them out, but now i'm thinking sooner rather than later. basically as soon as we both have stable jobs and have settled down a bit.
we'll see.
im 23 and my best friend is getting married in a couple months. its definitely on my radar and im starting to freak! but i have to remind myself, im wayyyy toooo youngggg for these thoughts!
Got married at 19. I'll be 21 in August. So far it's been the most amazing, wonderful experience of my life (and don't even think I'm just lacking in experience!).
I am 23 and more and more of my friends are getting engaged or are married. Crazy. Considering that I have only been in one short relationship my whole life and that I have been single for far too long, I don't know how likely it will be, but ideally, I would love to be married around 26 or 27.
i think the perfect time is late 20s into early 30s. i feel like that's the age that you have gotten the "young" thing out of your system. i mean i'm 25, i have a college degree, i have a well paying job and next thing for me is probably marriage with my bf but i don't want to rush it because i want to make sure that he's the one first.
i have too much to accomplish professionally before i want to commit to a family. this makes it hard because if i want kids, i shouldn't have them late. but i am nowhere near ready for any semblance of a "marriage."
Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at an age gap dating site [A_g_e_m_i_n_g_l_e @ c.//o.//m]---a nice and free place for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends
This freaked me out because I'm going to be 24 in a month and I'm no where near getting married. Eek
I was on the marriage radar the age of sixteen. I got married when I was twenty-one and we are about to have our first year anniversery. I noticed several of you say that you can't do things alone. My husband and I do a lot of things alone. I still hang out with my girl friends and he still hangs out with his guy friends. You can still party and such as long as you have a nice husband or wife that doesn't mind. I have even been on trips with friends without my husband. I love being married though and wouldn't trade it.
We are waiting till I am done with college to start having our family though. But it's nice to have the support of a husband while in college. But when you meet the guy that you know that you can't do without then you start thinking of marriage that's when I did.
i'm 24, about to turn 25 in a few days, and i didn't really think much about marriage until i met my current boyfriend. we are planning on getting married in a couple of years and i can't wait! but before we got together, i was single for about 7 years, just dating around and having fun. sometimes it's not an age thing, it's finding the right person.
I'm not ready for marriage or babies. there is so much that I'd like to do and honestly, marriage and babies will get in the way because it is extra obligations and I like my freedom. if it works for others, then alrightie. my ideal age is around 30 or whenever I meet an awesome guy that is husband material.