Wednesday, 19 May 2010

• A Pretty Awesome Dilemma

  
  
  Alright folks... so the title might seem like a contradiction in terms, an oxymoron, but I assure you: it's a wildly accurate statement.
  
  Before I exactly tell you why, let's run through the story real quick. If you don't wanna run through the story, at least scroll to the bottom and help me out with this situation!
  
  See, one day while I was in Honduras, J and I were chatting online when he starts to tell me about his friend, Jo, saying that Jo and his girlfriend K broke up... right when he had a ring to give to her.
  "Wha? He got her a ring?"
  "Yeah... Dude... she has size 9.5 fingers. Isn't that kind of big? I thought yours were like 7."
  "Lol, yeah... that's pretty big."
  "But I didn't know they make half sizes! How do you know you're a 7 and not a 7.5?"
  "That ring my mom got me is a 7 and it fits perfectly."
  "How do you know it's a 7?!"
  "Umm... she said so and I asked the jeweler."
  "Oh. Cool. And it fits?"
  "Yeah... you've seen it."
  "Right."
  
  Now you guys reading this might be thinking about how incredibly slow I am, and maybe you can already anticipate what's going on, but I didn't... so this next part makes me feel like a huge tool.
  
  The last night in Honduras, I came online and told him I'm ready to talk when he is. He says to give him ten minutes.
  Thirty minutes later, he finally comes online!
  
  I've gotta admit: I wasn't exactly thrilled at this point. It was late, I was tired and bored, and we already couldn't talk for the past couple of nights. So I was pretty upset. But instead of just saying that, I pulled some passive aggressive crap on him. You know the stuff... "No, don't worry about it. Beowulf's a very important movie." "I'm not mad. Just a little disappointed." "I'm sure it was more interesting than anything I could've told you anyways."
  Finally I get "Fine. Do you wanna know what I was doing with the extra 20 minutes?" He continues, "After ten minutes with the movie, like I said, I was wrestling around trying to open a FedEx box and everything so I could see how this came out."
  
  And he sets an image something like this in front of his webcam.
  
  
  
  And I was shocked out of my mind. I had no idea what to say. All that came out was a "?" in the text area.
  And then finally questions started to pour. "Is that why you were talking about Jo's girlfriend? Did he actually have a ring? Did they even break up? (Yes, btw, they did) Is that why you wanted to take me out when I got back?"
  
  By this time, he was pretty happy.
  "Do you wanna see it or do you wanna be surprised?"
  "Well... You were planning on surprising me with it in the first place... the surprise can just be how it looks, if you want. Show me when you can see how my face looks." (There was a weird connection error. I could see him, but he couldn't see me for the whole trip).
  "Okay. It's a pretty little ring. I think you'll like it. It's really cute."
  "Now you're making me wanna see it..."
  "Yeah?"
  Then before I could confirm or deny, he opens it up.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  "I'm really glad you can't see my face right now," I said.
  "Ah... yeah... well..."
  "No, cuz I'm crying and all wrinkly and icky. No one's ever cared so much to get something so beautiful for me before."
  He's pretty proud of himself here. Then I joke:
  "You're not proposing over the internet, are you?"
  "No lol. This isn't even an engagement ring. It only has little tiny diamonds and it's not even gold. It's silver."
  I'm like choking right here. You know... like "ONLY diamonds?! Any diamonds are expensive!"
  Like seriously... at this point, I thought vaguely maybe he'd get me a welcome home gift of like... a $15 cubic zirconium mall bracelet. Not a ring and not anything with diamonds in it!
  "You can just wear this and if I DO propose, I'll get you a better ring and you can put that one in a shoe box under the bed and it'll be a nice lil memory."
  
  And today, I finally got to put it on, and it fits perfectly!
  
  
  
  It really is the most beautiful gift I've ever received (and first one ever from a boyfriend!)
  
  But here's the awesome dilemma I'm having:
  
  WHICH FINGER?!
  
  I mean... pretty clearly, we're not getting married in the foreseeable future. But what does the right ring finger mean? I always thought that meant I'm single... though I'm clearly not. But I don't wanna confuse friends and family and make them think I'm engaged either!
  J's sweet... but this really isn't his area of expertise. All he really cares about is that I can wear it and think of him... and that I can feel loved and appreciated when I look at it. That I know he cares for me and doesn't take me for granted.
  (One of my coworkers has dubbed it a "promise ring" though I don't really like that phrase)
  
  This in mind... which finger?
  Right ring finger? Left? Index finger? (It won't fit my middle because my big double-jointed joint)
  
  What would you guys do? Guys, let's say you got a ring for your girl just to show that you love her and that she can wear so other guys (like stoned restaurant customer) will know that she's taken. Where would you have her wear it? Girls, what would you do if you were me?
  

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