"It isn't premarital sex if you don't plan on getting married."
Maybe it is because of my upbringing where religion didn't play a big part, or maybe it was living in an inner city, or maybe I'm just not strong willed enough - but whatever the reason is, I have never understood how or why anyone would want to wait until marriage to have sex.
I've always used sex as a tell tale sign if a me and a guy have chemistry, I consider it the 'last step' before you really commit yourself to someone. I couldn't imagine committing to a man who sucks in bed, but that's just me.
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The good thing is, "sucks in bed" is not a permanent state, under the right conditions. Two people who love and communicate with each other will take the time to learn what the other person likes in bed, and sure the sex may suck at first, but it'll get better. Chemistry changes over time. So really, someone's performance is a tenuous thing to base commitment on, from my perspective.
Saving yourself before marriage is an outdated expectancy in the current freer society; save for maybe the religious fogies.
i totally agree with you. I just keep thinking back on the movie The Other Boleyn Girl when Mary got married to her husband & they'd never slept together & it was awful. I know that's just a movie but I guess that really happened a lot back then. I know my some of my great great grandparents had had arranged marriages & it was more like a partnership than love. Of course they loved each other but it was so different, there was no passion.
No, I firmly believe in test driving before i buy. ;]
Okay so I think this is an honorable idea. Its admirable and I don't envy you for it. But I have one question, does this mean you don't masterbate or use toys?? I mean if your not getting laid wouldn't it help to know what does and doesn't turn you on if nothing else?
@xXDC_luyouXx - Lol, I'm not a religious fogie(?) but I am waiting for marriage....
If people think it will make them happy, they can go for it. But it sure wouldn't make me happy, and I see no reason to wait until marriage. I think sex is placed on too high a pedestal in our society. Like my hero Jack Donaghy said, "How can something that animals do be a big deal? Worms can do it with any other worm."
@Art_Is_War423@xanga - wink wink?
I wasn't brought up in a religious family either. But I am waiting. I base my decision on today's society and men. If he can't respect me enough to wait then he certainly doesn't deserve it. But to each their own.
@NSFWChristian@xanga - Great point.
I didn't wait, but I have no regrets. I definitely understand waiting until marriage, though. I view sex as a gift, a highly special thing. I wouldn't talk down to anyone for engaging in casual sex because yes, to each their own, but it's just not my cup of tea.
So there's my stance.
I don't believe in the institution of marriage. Therefore premarital sex is inapplicable for me. I waited a long time but only because I wanted to feel ready myself. When I was ready I had sex.
I am saving myself. :) And I am very, very not religious. It is a personal decision based on the fact that I cherish my virginity (and all of the emotional things attached) and want to save them for one man only...my husband. It's really hard sometimes and yea, I do a lot of other physical things, but draw the line at actual penetration. Just a personal choice. None of my friends are saving themselves and it isn't a point of contention. We respect each other's views. And I will say...the choice to save yourself is A HUGE choice that is quite possibly one of the hardest things you could ever ask of yourself. So, for me, I also enjoy the test of will power and proving that I am strong and in control. :)
I love sex too much to wait. Because what if I don't ever get married? Or what if I happen to get married in my 40's? I refuse to wait that long haha
@wonderchica22@xanga - I feel the same way. =]
I think waiting for marriage is an honorable idea. The idea of waiting for something makes it that much more exciting. I wish I had waited.......at the time, I was with someone that I felt that I loved so I suppose that I dont regret it......but then again, sex is just sex until you find someone you love, in my opinion. My current boyfriend and I, we have great chemistry and get along well in bed, but it's something that I feel can be worked on. There's always room for improvement........I've been with guys who I felt sucked in bed and that was a deal breaker for me....but when you find the right one, that you FEEL is the right one, the sex is just the icing on the cake. Whether it's amazing or not, you learn to take it as it is because you love that person so much, you know you can work on anything together.
@Coffee_Kaioken@xanga - lol
I'm waiting because I am a Christian. Also, I believe physical chemistry shouldn't be a dominating factor in whether I want to commit to a woman or not.
Hah, when I was younger, I used to tell myself over and over again that if I were to follow any of The Ten Commandments, it would definitely be "do not commit adultery". I was going to remain a virgin until marriage, dammit!
Then, I reached my junior year, I started realizing, hey, I'm a human being with sexual needs. People were made to have sex, and it was meant to feel good (why else would the woman have a clitoris?). However, I at least promised myself to wait until I was eighteen... and I did. I don't regret losing my virginity at all, because it was a beautiful, romantic experience that I got to share with someone with whom I was in love.
I am waiting for marriage not only because I am a Christ-follower, but because I want to be his first as he is mine. I don't want to be shared with other men nor do I want to share my future husband with other women.
If you can't save yourself for the one you will spend your life with, then you cannot prove beyond all doubts that your love for that person is not a lie (unless the other person is gullible).
I didn't see the point in waiting for marriage because I wasn't sure if I was going to marry that person or not. Sex is a natural act that all humans crave, and denying myself to participate in that act was almost like going against nature. I am not at all religious, but I am also not the type of girl who has sex with a different guy every night. Really, to each their own.
Sex is like a lottery... there are less winners than losers. Except in this case, there is the potential consolation prize of STI's and STD's... let alone just FEELING dirty, depending on the situation. If not for marriage, at least for only partners who you can bluntly ask to get tested together with. I'd rather offend someone than ignore reality.
I'm not necessarily saving for marriage. It's just that I don't want to lose it to the wrong man, so I figured the one who truly loves me would be my future husband - someone who's willing to wait and who wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I just don't want to live with regrets that's all.
But I don't want to miss out the fun, either.
@thuynguyen90@xanga - Yeah, you're clearly lookin' for fun with a profile pic like that
I wish I had waited until I was married.Or at the very least, waited for the man I was going to marry. Being in love and having sex makes the sex way better than having casual sex.
But hey, at least now I know the difference between waiting for the man I love and just doing it cause I wanted to. It's nice to know there's no better sex than what my husband can give me. But I still wish it was the only sex I know.
I don't wait for marriage. But I wait till I love someone. Keeps me from being a whore and it also keeps me from being prude, as well as sticking to my own morals that sex is meant for love,