Saturday, 15 May 2010

• 5 Sexing Don'ts Part II

  
  It seems like from the responses to the original post that there are a lot of other common mistakes that people make during sex. If you've never experienced any of them you would find it hard to believe that they happen, but oh baby, they do.
  
  Here are the top five sexing don'ts our Datingish readers have contributed:
  
  1. Saying the Wrong Name. "Oh, Mary!!!!! I mean...John?" What are people thinking when they say the wrong name? They're probably not even thinking at all, or perhaps it's a Freudian slip. But it's even weirder when the name you've yelled is your dog's...or even worse, your own.
  
  2. Passing Gas. Nobody wants to be farted on or be in close proximity to the birth of a fart, especially when their bare skin is against yours. Please try your best to hold it in or excuse yourself, because it's better to suddenly excuse yourself mid-romp and come back full throttle with swinging hormones than to let one rip.
  
  3. Texting or Picking Up a Phone Call. "Can you pick me up from Grand Central?" "Cant, hving sex lol!" Texting is an obvious sign that someone's not completely focused on the other person during sex. Also, picking up a call from his/her mom is a major mood-killer. Nobody was planning to auditorily invite someone else.
  
  4. Getting Rough. Your partner and you are having amazing sex, the lighting is right, the music is low, you look into her green eyes and OW, the fuck? She's ferociously biting you like some tender pork shoulder at the Four Seasons. Rough sex is great, but if you tend to get extremely aggressive, warn your partner beforehand.
  
  5. Being Grossed Out. "Ewwww...what's that?" Squealing about fluids is a no-no. If you're mature enough to have sex, you should be mature enough to deal with bodily fluids and the appearance of sex organs. However, do give the courtesy tap when you're about to climax. Unless your partner and you are secretly pornstars, nobody wants fluids to be unexpectedly in their mouths or in their hair.
  
  Runner-Up: Eating food. This seems to be okay with some, but if a partner open the fridge mid-thrust and starts chowing on some leftover lo mein, the other might be taken aback.
  
  Of course, there are exceptions. Some people are just extremely comfortable with themselves and their partners. But to the rest, may the force be with you.

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