Thursday, 13 May 2010
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Flirting Tips for Shy People
I'm not going to lie, I would not be surprised if one of my peers described me as socially inept. Though it is harsh, the reasoning behind why I would not be shocked is that I have been called "creepishly quiet" and asked why I never talk before. Albeit, those events occurred while I was going through a bout of depression, but the fear of being burned frequently stops me from putting myself out there. And while I do have social skills, even I can admit that I am a little too shy.
Needless to say, I have not been lucky in the love department. Virtually the entire extent of my experience with the opposite sex is this: In the second grade, a boy walked up to me and said, "I used to like you" and walked away. So I decided to go in search of flirting tips from more experienced persons and self-proclaimed "serial daters". This is what I came up with:
-In a group, watch whoever is speaking, but casually let your glance bounce over to the target of your affections every once in awhile. This shows that you are interested in their reaction to what the speaker is saying.
-Pause for a second before smiling when you see someone. It appears more genuine as an automatic smile can look forced and as if you are only smiling because you are "supposed" to.
-Before you walk into a party, visualize yourself having a good time, being confident, and participating in conversations. Hear yourself laughing and making others laugh. And feel the joy of knowing that you are breaking out of your shell and receiving the benefits of taking risks.
-Remind yourself that even if you make a mistake, many experts agree that up to 90 percent of someone's initial impression of you is not affiliated with what you say.
-If you're struggling with a conversation, simply repeat the last few words they said in a curious tone of voice. For example, if they say they love scuba diving simply repeat "Scuba diving?"
-Once you've scoped out someone you find intriguing, take note of their body language. If they look at ease and are facing outward, it's likely they are interested in meeting new people.
-Women, if you want to be kissed, look at his eyes, then his lips, and then back to his eyes again. Men, move a little closer to her and see if she responds. If she does, lean in and go for it!
Have you had troubling flirting encounters in the past? What are your best seduction tips?
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About the Author
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- From: tearsinheav3n@xanga
- Name: Katherine
- About Me: bookworm. aspiring author. closet reality tv junkie.
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Comments (54)
I can't help but think if you're a sexy woman, this problem is automatically solved for the most part. but if you're not, then best of luck...
@Cliffycliffz@xanga - I disagree. Women fall into different catagories of attractiveness. And some men fear talking to beautiful women anyway.
I have no idea how to "flirt." I try to smile, be a good conversationalist and definitely be myself.
haha I'm very shy too
some tips that my friend told me is look into his eyes a little longer than you usually would. If you are sitting close to him, touch his leg w/ yours once in a while. Play with your hair once in a while. And touch your lips once in a while while you look him in the eyes
I consider myself shy too. I have no flirty lines and mainly use body language and gradually seduce them with my outfit. I just dress in a sexy outfit and let them stare at me and make the moves while I look like an innocent and shy girl standing there all sexy
the tips for men would be to look hot and smile as you look her way but never wink because that is creepy.
My best advice (and the one that helped me stop being such a wallflower). Walk into a place and act like you own it. Always smile, everyone is here to have a good time, at your place. Sure it's a bit narcissistic, but it's much better then recoiling in terror or completely botching an outing.
"many experts agree that up to 90 percent of someone's initial impression
of you is not affiliated with what you say."
So looks do matter... Hahaha.
Oh gosh. This sounds like me! Ha. Every flirting encounter I have starts out fine then gets awkward ... my mind goes blank. :P
I like these tips. They seem pretty realistic.
idk how to flirt. all those steps would turn out awkward esp with me doing them.
Haha! 2nd grade.
@Lordv16@xanga - Sounds like sound advice to me!
@Lordv16@xanga - I totally agree with you there. I walk around not just confident, but cocky. It's worked out when I'm dancing at a party. Confidence is the key to having fun at places like those for guys at least. Shyness works too for girls though. Some guys like those shy quiet types and some like the ones who just like having fun. But if you are shy, I think if someone does start a conversation with you, try to converse back. That's a start to getting over shyness at social events.
These tips are surprisingly realistic and do work! I can personally vouch for that last one. Works EVERY time
jokes. be mean, but do it with a smile on your face. laugh at yourself and assure them you were kidding. follow this up by some sort of cocky remark. repeat. laugh at every given opportunity, even if what they're saying isn't that funny; keeps the conversation light-hearted. gradually incorporate physical contact. if your subject continues to move closer to you, you win.
i can't recall this ever not working, but perhaps it's just my niche.
i have zero idea how to flirt. lol. luckily i already have a bf.
I'm not the shyest, but introducing myself and meeting other people is quite tricky for me. If I get past that... Easy E baby lol.
My best seduction tips? Wear clothes at fit me well, and I like to show off my arms. Smile... if I'm talking to them, I'll do my best to listen and respond in hopes of finding something in common. I hope to win them over with my sweetness muahha...
aw darn...sometimes i smile too fast and sometimes i have such a slow reaction to recognizing someone that by the time we pass each other, i didn't smile...people must think i'm a snob =/
@kinamorata@xanga - This.
But i mean with everyone.... it doesn't always work though
I'm not typically shy.. but alas.. I am very complex, so you'd you'd have to be blunt with me.
alcohols*
I'm way too shy as well, for some reason I just can't go up to someone and say "Hi." Otherwise, if someone else says hi to me, then I'm fine, I can talk at ease. I Just can't make the first move lol
Haha, I'm really shy anyway, but it wasn't until this year that I actually met a guy that I was actually interested in dating/ getting to know better. I guess I've been doing most of these unconsciously.
But yeah, ahaha, I agree that guys should smile but not wink. It would seem sooo awkward if you winked.
"many experts agree that up to 90 percent of someone's initial impression of you is not affiliated with what you say"
Haha! I seriously doubt this.
I'm pretty shy too, but people think I'm flirting anyways when I'm always touching/hitting guys, and when I'm laughing a little too much. I can't help it, that's just how I am xD.
I really like the "repeat their last few words in a curious tone" one. I do that a lot with people I don't particularly want to talk to - not out of shyness, just because I'm a lazy conversationalist.