I guess I'm missing out, but ever heard of non-boyfriends and non-girlfriends? These are not to be confused with friends with benefits. In some cases, it's the complete opposite.
He's the guy you go out to dinner with twice a week, she's the girl you vent to and go to concerts with. Yet the other person isn't aware that you've dubbed him/her your non-whatever, or you guys have been friends for too long to become an actual couple. You're free to date other people, but you don't really want to because of your feelings for this person.
I look back on my relationship history and realize that I've had quite a few non-boyfriends.
During one summer, a guy friend and I became extremely close. There definitely were some sparks since we flirted with each other relentlessly. We would meet up a few times a week, go to dinner and talk about everything and nothing. However, at the end of the day I knew there was no way it could turn into an actual relationship. He kind of had a girl on the side and was going to satisfy his military service soon (this was in Korea). I was also only visiting for the summer, and was not really enthusiastic for starting a long-distance relationship. But up until the day I left the country, we continued to hang out and enjoy each others' company.
I know the concept of having someone you're very attracted to connect emotionally with exists but I've never heard of a term for it.
Simply put, you are extremely attracted to each other and you enjoy each others' companies but something holds either of you back from committing. I also think that this is different from being best or close friends with a guy, because I believe you don't necessarily have to be attracted to someone to be friends with them, no?
Do you have a non-boyfriend/girlfriend? Do you wish it could turn to something more?
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Comments (129)
It's what can't be but is nice.
No, I'm afraid of most people, and I blush and burn, so I don't go around the opposite that much.
I'm too realized and out-of-place always so.
I loved this it's so true. I always stumble into these non-relationships on both ends.. sometimes I never think it could turn into something more and I just see them as friends and other times their completely into me and I want to date them.
In a way it's just college
I had a non-boyfriend in high school, and when I went to turn it into something more, it was really awkward and I broke it off. We were friends again afterwards.
I've had that experience multiple times. I've really liked many of my friends like that, but after a while all was forgotten in hopes of romance. My ex and I were like that for a LONG time, as well. We went to clubs together, dinner, movies, all that, but I learned the hard way not to try something you're not sure will work, especially in a friend-turned-boyfriend. I love him still, but I don't want anything romantic in anyway.
You explained it pretty well, though. haha He was my non-boyfriend. :)
To make life less complicated, I call them my friends.
this sound nice. i'd be nice if i had a non boyfriend before i ended up w my boyfriend now... :/
:le sigh...:
I love my non-boyfriend. I like how things are now, can't imagine anything else
yea, i've had 2 of those. wish it could've been something more but because of certain circumstances, it couldn't happen, smh....
I'm currently going through a similar situation. A friend of mine and I, we've been very close friends, but there is something of an attraction. The problem is, over time, my feelings developed stronger than hers. We'd go out to dinner, go to the movies, hang out, and have a great time. But, I know nothing will ever happen between us.
The problem is, I believe she's interested in someone now. There seems to be a lot of playful flirting going on between them and I don't know how to feel about that. I can't really get upset because she and I aren't going out, but I can't just ignore the fact she's interested in someone else.
I became a non-boyfriend. Meanwhile, it seems there are sparks with someone else. It really stings and my hands feel tied.
you mean friends? Very close friends? that's what a non-boyfriend and non-girlfriends are if you two aren't dating....yes. it has happened..
My life fucking story.
um... isn't that called a "crush"?
marvin used to be my non-boyfriend [i called him my not-boyfriend] and now he is all mine...officially :)
Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at an age gap dating site[A_g_e_m_i_n_g_l_e @ c.//o.//m]---a nice and free place for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends
This reminds me of Liz and Bryson on My Life As Liz.
idk :P
I've got one real non-girlfriend. we go out a lot, and for me there's an attraction to personality and emotional connection; but there's no physical attraction. For me it can be awkward at times because emotionally it's there but not physically. For now things are going well, we'll see if things change in the future.
mines are usually crushes on unattainable men who are married or already in a relationship, so I never got to hang out like real non-bfs.
this morphed into my last relationship, which turned out to be a horrible thing. i suppose i have a non-boyfriend right now. i'm not completely convinced i'd like it to turn into an official relationship, but i know he does. problem solved though, since we're not allowed to date.
OH MY GOSH! This is the best term ever for my (as my friends would put it) Facebook "Its Complicated" relationship. Yes I have one, yes I want it to turn into more, and yes I know the reasons behind us not being more. Now if only I could find away to make us more.
It was like this for quite a while for me. I fell in love with my best friend and then after 3 years of being in love with him, he came out of the closet. It was so hard to try and rest my head on, but now that I've moved on from it, we've gone back into the "best friends" phase.
Their is a difference between a "Non-boyfriend" and a crush. (I have experienced both) a non-boyfriend is someone who basically from the outside looking in you appear to be a couple always together, do coupley things. A crush however is someone you like but aren't necessarily that close to.@jamoncita@xanga -
Ha, I'm in that situation right now. I don't really like it either. I thought it would be okay since I didn't want a boyfriend anyway but it was nice having an emotional connection with someone...but I'm not really liking it anymore. It goes nowhere at all, it just lingers there just waiting to be called off, and the worst part is that there isn't really anything to "call off" if there was no relationship to begin with. And you can't technically get jealous of anyone else in their life cause you're not with them. You have absolutely no control or say in anything that they do.
I've had two "non-boyfriends" one after another, I don't want any more...
I'm in that kind of situation right now and while I'm very attracted to him and he's very attracted to me, it won't spark (and I don't think it can because I'm too busy and he is too). Still, I'm not enjoying it one bit.
I believe the correct term is "friend."