I met my first boyfriend when I was in 7th grade. He was older, more mature than the other boys my age. He seemed experienced, funny, and smart.
But the reason I think I liked him the most was because he was a
Bad Boy.
You know the type and you've probably crushed on a few of them. Tough on the outside, but sensitive and affectionate on the inside. He was always there to give advice to his friends and he was fiercely loyal to them.
I loved that his sweet inside was like a secret, something only I knew.
But sometimes a Bad Boy is exactly that—a bad boy.
At the beginning of my junior year we broke up after three and a half years of no-so-coupled-bliss. Still, after spending so much time together, it's hard to cut off contact-- especially when your ex is basically your best friend. So we made an effort to stay friends, do our own thing, and even went to prom together that year.
After he graduated and went to school in another state we stayed friends, or tried to, seeing each other a few times a year and talking on the phone every so often.
But things eventually ran their course and I stopped enjoying talking to him. We weren't the same people, or at least I wasn't. A few months ago we grabbed ice cream and chatted, but it was terribly awkward and neither of us enjoyed ourselves.
I resigned myself to the fact that this happens. You don’t need to stay friends with everyone you’ve been close to. Life just kind of goes like that.
He, however, disagreed and sent me some nasty texts. I told him that we shouldn't speak to each other anymore and we haven't talked since.
Was it the best way to sever ties? No. Was it the only way? Maybe.
Does anyone else have an ex that just can't let go? How did you finally say goodbye?
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Comments (36)
I don't have an ex boyfriend that I can't cut ties with, but I have an ex best friend I had a hard time letting go of. It was an awful end to our friendship, and now we're subscribed to each other on Xanga, but we don't speak. It's tough.
@chrissiibear@xanga - I had a friend like that! ...Like exactly. We were subscribed to each other on Xanga too. lol. We commented once awhile..but there was always a distance. But..stuff happens. It's doesn't make it any less sad though. =(
@Fairywife@xanga - I'm happy to hear about someone else that has gone through this, ha. It is really sad though:/ We made kind of a truce, and them she subscribed to me on Xanga and I just recently subscribed to her. It's kind of weird, and a little awkward when I blog and have to mention her. >.<
i never tell anyone we should never talk. i think that's a little hurtful, and i never like to sever ties with anyone. there's always something that a person can offer you, and that you can offer them and you never know what will happen later
@chrissiibear@xanga - We made a truce too. She was even on my facebook for awhile commenting stuff. BUT then my sister in law went off on her and she deleted me (even though I had nothing to do with it). So..I just let it be what it is. I'm afraid to request her because I don't know what she'll say. And it's drama I'd rather avoid!
@Fairywife@xanga - I know what you mean. Sometimes I want to send a request to my ex friend on Facebook, but I'm too scared she'll reject me. Sadly, we don't talk at all anymore. We just Xanga stalk eachother.
@chrissiibear@xanga - Isn't it funny how things end up? With the whole I-don't-wanna-talk-to-you-but-I-still-wanna-know-what's-going-on-in-your-life? It's weird. I don't understand it..but it's just how things are sometimes.
My ex and I ended suddenly, and I'm not sure why. So I went on with my life. He was always the type to wait for me to make the first move. Last year I called him up on a whim and we saw fireworks for 4th of July. Later I sent him a random email that he answered. But other than that, nothing.
Maybe I'll meet someone else one day, but I'm not going backwards.He wasn't an ex but he was a good friend from a time which turned into a stalkerish creep after I rejected him.. a few times. He just didn't know how to let go or what the meaning of the word, NO, was define as. The last I heard from him was a few months ago and I'm glad he's finally moving on. Whew!
@swtaznxtc90@xanga - I very much agree with you!
Although circumstances arise wherein the only way to move forward is to leave the past behind.
It's hard not to be sad that the good part is over; the only thing left to do is to be happy it happened.
@Fairywife@xanga - Yeah. It's quite a bloody shame everyone can't just get along and be friends.
My ex and I were like that. In the beginning of the break up we were still close and enjoyed each other's company. We broke up b/c he went away for school. We still had feelings for each other. After a few years of back and forth crap, breaking up, getting back together, tears, fights, smiles, I finally out grew him. Towards the end it go to the point where I couldn't stand being around him. He annoyed me and was so immature. It was as if he graduated college and started to regress. I haven't spoken to him in almost 4 years and I'm ok with that.
I did have a relationship that ended like yours...but then I forgave him and now we chat on Facebook from time to time. The forgiving took four LONG years.
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Funny you should post this.....I just went through a break up myself two months ago from a 2 1/2 year relationship and I am reaching that point where I'm realizing that I NEED to let him go, for good. NOT send him texts every now and then to see how he's doing, NOT being a part of his life at all because he is toxic to me....but you're right, it is hard. We lose a piece of ourselves in the process and while people heal, it happens all the time, it's scary to think about the big unknown between the time of the breakup and the time you're healed. I feel you on this one.
I usually don't permanently sever ties with people, just gradually talk to them less and less as time goes by and I move on with my life.
It's hard for me to make the final goodbye. I always find some excuse to keep holding on. It's not good.
goodbyes sucks
they usually piss me off so good riddance and I feel relieved that we don't talk.
Haha. What a terrifying story to read. I am in the EXACT same situation - even with how long we were together and going to prom anyway and all that, except I'm at the part where we still see each other once in a while and talk online. Is there really no hope for me? Should I just end communication now, or is it worth it to keep trying?
@everlastte@xanga - Right you are!
But somehow just you need to let him go, I had SERIOUS difficulty with it as well. But I think no matter what for better I needed to break all the ties. When I will move on, everything will fall into piece on their own!
Ive managed to stay on good terms with all but onne of my exs. My first ex I dont really talk to a lot anymore, as hes moved a good few hours drive away for uni, but if hes in town we'll meet up for coffee and a catch up. My ex after him I became really good friends with after wed both managed to get over the breakup, I see him all the time at college and we will chill and have lunch regularly. My ex after him, well we are on rather bad terms. I left him, but then had to see him again to recover some stuff Id left at his, and hes been a douche to me ever since. I was considering demanding the furniture I lent him back, but its not worth the drama over an old sofa hes probably managed to cover in spilt beer and cigarette ash.
Had to break up with a guy I'd been seeing for almost 2 years and have known for more than 5. It's still terrible to think we promised we'd stay friends and thought we talk maybe a couple times a week, it's on a completely fake level. I don't enjoy it and frankly wish he'd disappear right now. I consider throwing away our old things, our pictures, our memories. But I really can't. It's only been a month since we broke up and things are still difficult every now and then.
It takes time to get over an ex, especially one that your cared for deeply. Unfortunately, there's not set amount of time that it'll take.
well i recently cut ties with my now ex-best friend...we hadn't really been talking/hanging out like we used to because of several reasons, and our relationship just got worse and worse and she was just going down a path i refused to follow or be a part of anymore...we texted for the first time after a few weeks of not talking, and when she said she hoped we could still be friends i told her that our relationship wasn't healthy.
according to "mutual" friends, she thought this was outrageous, but everyone else can see it for what it is.