Friday, 07 May 2010
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Reader Review: All The Rules
Okay so in my quest to become more knowledgeable about the subject of dating and relationships, I have begun to read various books. I am currently in my first "real" relationship as I like to call it and I'm definitely needing some help. I tend to find myself becoming needy or clingy in relationships and this is NOT something that I like or want to become. So, I recently began reading The Rules and wondering if any of you females out there have done the same.
I know it has received flack for being old-fashioned and people think it's manipulative to men, but I tend to disagree. I find a lot of what it says to be quite true and look at most of your grandparents, they are still married and together and I'm sure many of your grandmothers have followed these rules. Today we live in a society where getting divorced is just as equivalent to people as breaking up, and to me that is not acceptable. I do not want to put myself or future children through any kind of divorce, as my parents are divorced and it's no fun. I know there are circumstances where divorce is the answer, such as cheating or abuse. But people just not wanting to work it out or marrying the wrong person from the get-go is not something I am willing to let happen to me.
I love how the book promotes women being more independent and not working around a man's schedule and being hard to get, among other things. I did not read the sections about online dating as that does not pertain to me. But most of it I find very informative and different approach to dating than most women do today.
So who all out there has read The Rules and what did you think? If you have not, I suggest you read it. It's like a lightbulb will go off in your head, it's actually quite liberating.
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- From: SummerOrchid@xanga
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Comments (7)
Um that book is to be taken with a grain of salt. Since this is your first relationship, you are naturally going to overpursue him. And this book teaches you to pretty much play hard to get.
In the end, you gotta be in the middle. Your relationship is not the book. Just like the book can help you, it can always burn you. Do what feels natural.
@your_best_sex_now@xanga - exactly.
I've read parts of this book before (yea, I know it's weird that a guy read this).
Basically, this book generalises that men ONLY really enjoy "the chase" to obtain a woman and will get lazy in the relationship once said men catch their women.
Damnit! Where are the woman guides of showing mutual feeling and effort in a relationship? It's really vexxing that society teaches women to be pursued and it NEVER occurs to women that a guy might not get lazy in a relationship if women showed equal effort. Stop treating relationships like it's all about how "a guy gets a girl" and more about meeting half-way.
here is the only rule that matters, be the part of the dream that you want to live, others will see the story's beauty and take part in according roles. if you think you have been doing so... then you arn't being the part to the right story, so try to change and be something else.
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I haven't ever read it. But I must say I am really on board with the more old-fashioned mindset. As for playing hard to get, guys can say whatever they want, but in truth they do get bored and lazy for the most part after awhile. But what I have learned is that those aren't the type of guys you want pursuing you. Because playing games gets really exhausting after awhile. I mean sure, you need to make them pursue you enough to invest emotionally into you, but you also need a guy that isn't turned off by you showing him that the feelings are mutual. And all guys will hit a point when they quit trying, they have their prize, and they don't worry about it anymore like we do. But rather than continuing to play a long game you just need to say you expect more. But don't get stuck with one of those guys that needs your relationship to be a constant game. And while everyone likes books like "The Rules" just remember that who you are needs to shine through. It shouldn't be determined by what anyone else, be it "The Rules" or "Cosmo" tells you men want you to be. Because there is a guy out there who was tailor made, just for you. Â
Well, I have read the book and enjoyed it. It is true. You need to let them chase you. My mom once told me that you need to let boys chase you, just don't run so hard they could never catch you even if they tried with all their might. The point of the book is to help you as a women feel empowered. You have control over, not only who you date, but who you marry. The book He's Just Not That Into You is the same sort of thing. Remember you are amazing and don't settle. Ever.