Someone brought up that I don't look like a virgin. I'm sorry I never knew that virgins have a certain look to them. I just want my friend to say in what ways do I look "non-virgin". Do virgins have to wear all white, with a ring of dried flowers on their heads?
Yes, I have had a boyfriend, I've spent time alone with him in his house. It was not like we fooled around, I'm not that type of girl. So what if I had slept over? I mean I was 16 on the verge of being kicked out of my house. I spent the night in his sister's room. I don't need to explain it to anyone.
So what if I spend time at my guy friend's house? We've known each other since we were born. Our parents know each other, I am like his little sister. How does that make me a slut?
I don't mind about strangers thinking I am something else, but really, my own friend? Obviously, that person does not know me well enough.
So do virgins have a look or not? Can people really tell?
Recommend
Comments (157)
i don't think people can tell; they are judging based on stereotypes. and really, i think it shouldn't matter.
There's no particular look that one carries to call someone a 'virgin'. Maybe it's within how one has their personality out going and talks openly about sex pleasures? I'm not so sure. But that's different to hear that someone would even say that someone looks like a non-virgin.
People often assume I'm a virgin...they're right. But how do they know? I have no idea...
Usually when someone says that you don't look like a virgin, it usually is them with a sexual attraction to you or they think you have some of sort of magnetism to you. (shrugs)
She probably is secretly having issues with your appearance against hers or is justifying something about herself; she purer, a good girl or something, morally upright. She's defaming you, and you should ask her to stop.
In Middle School, my best friend was overweight, and I was very thin and still fit into child's clothing, which should have deflected her because I looked wrong against the others , and I did until I was 14 or so - my grandma used to send me jumpsuits that I wore on the weekends, but it made her feel badly because I was so small, so she called me a prep and "helped" me. We were too young for it to be bad or cruel, like it got later on and is for you, but it was the same thought. I wouldn't call it jealousy so much as self-doubt and you are a threat somehow to her.
It's weird when "friends" say things. They should know you in a moderate sense.
I'm trashy.
I'm more or less deranged.
Haha funny post. Most people seem to think I'm not a virgin and are shocked if they find out. I had a very humorous incident with a girl where she was bashing virgins and then she found out I was one. I just laughed.
A lot of it is just silly stereotyping.
I'd be more inclined to say someone didn't ACT like a virgin, rather than that they didn't look like a virgin.
@PunkRockCowboy@xanga - you'll live.
because if you are in a relationship, it is presumed that sooner or later, she is going to put out and sleep with him, which doesn't make her a slut but I think they expect that teens with raging hormones that sleep over at their bf/gf's house are having sex even if they aren't. I think your friend wasn't judging by the way you dress or look, but by your relationship status that you have a boyfriend and you might not have had sex and since some think that oral doesn't count even if it is slutty, not saying that you did that, she probably thought that lol or maybe not but fooling around with sexual foreplay and doing everything but sex can be seen as slutty to some people depending on how conservative or liberal they are about sex.
yes, here are a few provisions to be perceived as innocent:
- a skirt/blouse should never be thinner than a belt- keep in mind in general, sexuality should be shown in proportion to how you want to be perceived in terms of sexual experience- have good hygienesince you are female keep in mind that being a virgin is generally a compliment... the female to male equivalent is 'you smell good' during a hug.
The only way a person can tell if a girl is a virgin or not is by the state of her hymen, and even that's not always definitive proof. Clothing and a person's demeanor are in no way capable of telling someone else whether or not you're a virgin...unless you're standing on the corner with next to nothing on and leaning through a car window to name your price.
Jeez, i hate when people tell me i "dont seem like a virgin". People literally refuse to believe me. I am 17 with piercings, tattoos, bleached blonde hair, not religious AT ALL. And yet, still a virgin! Personally i think it all really does have to do with stereotypes. People also have a difficult time believing that i make High Honor Roll, or that i've never smoked pot. Sorry i dont have to look "innocent" to actually be relatively pure! Hahah. Not saying that i haven't been tempted, but i plan to wait until i am in love. Although i do make sexual jokes a lot, which may lend to my "non-virgin" image. Ahh well, all i know is there is a lucky man somewhere out there who will be worth the wait ;)
The fuck is wrong with people?
There is no 'look' to being a virgin. You seriously need to examine your own life if you seriously think this.
@food_equals_failure@xanga - Love this post.
There is no 'look' to a virgin.
That's stupid.
yeah I used to love the look of complete shock people used to give me when I would tell them that I was a virgin.
Theyd say the same thing..."I would never guess...you dont look like one."
hmm really??...what does a virgin LOOK like???
Because I go out and party and have a good time and drink you automatically assume Im a loose girl??..really?
fuck you.
@Absinthe_De_Faustine@xanga - haha, thanks. I went on a slight rant, but it is seriously my pet peeve :|
No,you can't tell, and I hate it when friends come out and say something like that. It makes them look stupid,like they've been thinking about it and mean to harm you.
I don't think that comment would be made purely on the way you "LOOK." It seems form the info you posted you already know why someone might say you might not be a virgin - it's based on things you've done, places you've gone, people you've been with. The appropriate phrase would be, "You don't SEEM like you'd be a virgin."
I think this is being taken way too literally .. if you are or aren't a virgin, it's your business and it shouldn't really matter that much to your friends if you act like you should or shouldn't be. People have sex. That's the way it is..
they think ugly people are virgins and if you're remotely attractive, then you're not a virgin.
it's all stereotypes.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - I know right?
I doubt people can tell but they do like to assume. Don't let it get you down.
Wow, what a beezy friend. Maybe she's (or he's?) a conservative person, or perhaps it's the way you dress or act.
yeah thats the most annoying thing! that was really rude. I remember people use to always say that to me. when i said i never had sex before..they'll be like WHAT? SERIOUSLY? SHUT UP You don look like a virgin. lol. im just like wth? its cause i had a lot of male friends and are always out hanging out. But this is such a good post!
actually to think of it now ...i would take that as a compliment. If they say "you look like your a virgin.." its like saying ...damn no one wants to sleep with you. LOL thats worst then saying i don look like a virgin. Just a thought.
Some people are so stupid. My best friend gets accused of not looking like a virgin, when she's actually quite innocent and hasn't done anything past making out. She'll tell people who ask her that, yes, she is a virgin, and nobody believes her. Whereas with me, people seem to think that I look like a virgin, because I have an innocent face... except for the fact that I've slept with two men. You simply can't judge whether someone is a virgin or not just by the way the person looks.