Saturday, 01 May 2010
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Military Does Cause Some Problems
So my SO is reenlisting in the Navy, and it is bringing up that question with my family on what will happen between us. They want us to make things official so that where ever he gets re-stationed at I go with him, and so that he has a family to come home to if he decides to go IA. We all know he loves me and he wants me to even move in with him now on base, I am at a loss on how to handle this, and because he has the thickest skull in the world, you can just simply talk to him.
How do you convince your SO who decides to go IA for the navy, or move away from where we are now, that maybe he should think about taking this relationship seriously?
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About the Author
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- From: snwbrdrcutie@xanga
- Name: snwbrdrcutie
- About Me: As my life has not been so great, I hope this choice I made will turn it around, I love my man and all though him being active navy will be difficult, we will see where the adventure takes me. =] I love to ride dirt bikes, snowboard, and run. I own a Honda 250x and I try to get out to the desert every weekend to ride. I am a easy person to get along with and as most say fun and interesting. I really am a one of a kind girl and i don't know or have heard of anyone like me.
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Comments (34)
I avoid military-relationships at all costs because I don't have anyway of pulling my weight, as I will never have a decent job, and I'm labeled, so they'll come after me or hurt him with me.
I'd say get knocked up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIxVeF1mFfc
If you've been together then it's just the byproduct of fucking.
It sounds like he *does* take you seriously, and you need to just talk to him, k?
If he isn't taking you seriously, why the invitation to move in with him on the base? Have a talk with him.
Sounds like you're the denser one in the relationship if you don't believe him asking you to move in with him on his base is part of taking things seriously.
No matter how much you think talking to him will be useless, why don't you, ya know, actually try it before knocking it? Many a wonderful thing can be discovered through communicating with an SO rather than just assuming things about them and their thought processes.
@Colorsofthenight@xanga - lmao.
@SharonJo@xanga - that's what people do.
I would never do that because I'm very direct, but that's what people do, so I'll pass it along for a thought.
I wouldn't date someone in the military or army because we don't even get to do couple things like actually going out on dates since he's often away. healthy communication is your solution.
Why are you even taking this relationship seriously if you don't even feel like you can just talk to him about something like this? If his skull is truely that "thick", you are wasting your time. Communication is important.
Military men are so fine! But....no....
I am married to a military man and it is tough, but it is much harder to be married and it will be even harder to move, depending on how far away you move from your family in friends. TALK TO HIM! I cannot stress this enough sometimes all you can do is talk because he is gone so you really need to improve your communication skills if you want it to go anywhere. Him asking you to move in is a good sign so he is thinking about you seriously so just talk. Good Luck.
AHH, I just read your bio. If you are still plan on joining the air force this relationship will be almost impossible. The military is hard to work with with one person in there and two people in the military let alone in two different branches is not a good idea. IF he is that important to you go for it, but if not it may be better to just let things run its course. once again good luck.
There's a reason why most military wives happened to have grown up in military families. It's hard lifestyle to get used to and something that is very difficult to commit to unless you are extremely serious.
That being said, I would be ok with marrying a military man. @Colorsofthenight@xanga - It doesn't necessarily mean you wouldn't be able to hold a job of your own. So many jobs now a-days are internet based, and that number will only increase within the next few years (especially in fields like journalism, where soon enough there will be little need to have office buildings apart from boss and client meetings and the like). Many military wives find jobs within the military community as well (yes, you can do that as a civilian). Since I plan to be a high school teacher, I know that it would be easier for me than other ppl to up and relocate b/c not only would i have the option of civilian teaching posts, but also frequent openings at DOD schools.
My SO is in the military. Luckily, once he's contract is up he's done with active duty and coming home....he won't be signing up again. Once he's home I'll be moving with him closer to his hometown (still just 2 hours from my hometown) and within the next few years marriage and hopefully a family. As much as I want him home, I still tell him I will stand behind him and support him whatever his decision is.
I think if he's keeping you informed on all these decisions and is willing to move you to base....he's pretty serious about the relationship. Just because he wants to reenlist doesn't mean he doesn't take the relationship seriously.....just means he feels it's something he really wants to do/feels like he has to do. He's considering your relationship by telling you about it and asking you to move on base with him.
I think you two really need to talk it out. Talk about why he wants to reenlist and just what his plans are...where he would hope to be stationed, what he would hope for you two. And you need to express to him your concerns....I'm sure he'd be really understanding! TALK! That's definitely the only that gets me and the SO through.....completely open/honest lines of communication. Good luck!
I think what your SO is doing is very honorable. I know it's tough, but he's needs you more than ever! :)
my boyfriend is planning on joining the USMC next year, but he initially was planning on going sooner. we had only been dating a couple months and i asked him directly what his intentions with the relationship were because i didn't want to completely fall for him just to be dumped while he was gone. i also told him that i was more than willing to wait for him (keep in mind we had only been dating a couple months at this point).
almost a year and a half later, we are doing wonderfully and i still intend to wait. in this time we've also made plans for the future, like marriage, where we'll move once he's out, etc. sure of all that can change, but it was reassuring to me and for our relationship to know that even a few months he was planning on keeping me around :)
@AubreyBird@xanga - fuck that. I was in for 3 years, and I hated it. Well, no, I didn't hate it until I made friends who destroyed my existence. No, I'm not blaming anybody because I made a choice that living like that wasn't living by not fighting counterweights. Because even if you can't control something, it's your fault because it happened to you.
Thus, I stay away from such nonsense.
It's an easy lifestyle. It's easier than on the outside for sure - not that the all-knowing would know. I just couldn't take anymore labels or being known as that.
@Colorsofthenight@xanga - Everyone in my family is in the military. Most of our family friends are in the military. My point was that it can work; just b/c it didn't for you doesn't condemn everyone else.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - haha I really should do the same.
My g/f is in the military for 4 months now. Ever since she went in, there has been just a never ending amount of problems/arguments. I don't think it'll work, pretty soon she'll be an ex I think. I want to support her and all, but I just don't think I have it in me. I need some physical contact, sigh....
@AubreyBird@xanga - I agree it may work for some people, but at the same time the other one who isn't in the military basically has to be as strong (not as strong physically, but mentally probably twice as strong) as the one in the military which is hard to ask of the other person.
Anyways take care!~
my man is a marine.
you can work through this.trust.I'm dating a marine and things are difficult when trying to have a serious relationship, but if you are in love and truly serious, then just talking to him is the best thing. he loves you so he should be willing to actually listen and consider what you have to say.
My boyfriend is going into the army after he graduates college which will be next year. We are already talking about marriage since he will be going away, but we have also been together for 6 years now. Talk to him...maybe he is waiting for you to bring it up and see what your thoughts are about the whole situation.
I was in a military relationship and the key is communication! It may seen like he is stubborn, but he WILL listen. Patience is a virtue; just remember one thing, don't rush into things. Take your time and when the time is right, move in together. It's always nice to have someone there to come home to when they've gone through a bunch of BS. Goodluck!
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I am married to an Army guy and we are currently expecting our first child. Honestly, we were straight forward with eachother when we first started dating a year ago today. Its a huge decision to make to take on a military relationship and a military marriage. I knew that I wanted to go wherever he did. If you are not married than chances are you will not have the same priveliges as being married. Its a big decision that you two need to sit down and discuss together. If you do not want to move with him to whereever he is going then I suggest this may not be the lifestyle for you. You handle it how you feel you need too. Most guys will listen to a girl whose being honest. Also I read that you are joinin the Air Force. Not every military relationship that involves two people in the military is doomed. You can make it work if you are ok with everything that is involved in a long distance relationship. You are also fortunate because the Air Force doesn't deploy so that may be a good thing for your relationship in helping it stay strong. Good Luck!
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - I'm going to have to disagree with your statement about not doing couples things. I'm married to as US Soldier and I've told him I want to have a date night once a week or once every other week. He loves the idea, we go out and just be carefree and have fun as a couple.
Military relationships aren't easy, but no relationship is. If he asked you to move in with him on base, that's pretty serious. Though from my knowledge of being an Army wife, in order to get on base alone you have to have a ID card that states you're a dependent of a military person (ie married) maybe that's what it is unless you're already married. Maybe he's going to pop the question? :]
my bf is currently deployed. he's been gone almost three months, and our relationship continues to grow. it's all about communication and effort on both sides. it can work, but you guys do have to decide if it's worth it to both of you. you have to be pretty serious to be able to sustain a relationship through the strain of long separations.
@roflicopterxD@xanga - it depends where he is deployed or if she is staying with him at base. he can easily see you once a week or every other week? how?