Friday, 30 April 2010
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What Love is Not
Love just isn't enough nowadays, nor is it what it used to be. Love used to be rare enough that it was sought after with the understanding of sacrifice, as opposed to what it is now, a two-bit wall street wager with no money down, no collateral and no interest.
As with anything that has become commercialized, it has been polluted to the point of beyond recognition. Few can really verbalize what Love IS, but there are many things that Love is NOT.
Love isn't an adjunct, an appendix, something that can be annexed, attached, or latched on. It isn't an addition of life + love or you + me. Love isn't an afternoon delight, fancy, a stand-in, or shoo-in.
Love was never about self-interest. It was never about latching to someone for money, survival, or assistance. Love is not about the feeling of security derived from being loved by someone else nor the fulfillment of the desire to be wanted. Love isn't sex, feral attraction or the rush of euphoria from fancy.
Love was never about finding a complement to your self. It isn't the feeling of being understood to avert the aches of spiritual loneliness. It isn't personal growth or sharing experiences. It isn't about finding an equal intelligence, mental infatuation, nor sharing ideas.
In short, Love is not the equivalent of its symptoms. Simply, it is a source of Beauty and Genius seen in glimpses of experience. If there was ever an purpose or ambition to living, it would be love. Nothing in life, whether it's aspirations, preferences, or conventions, is more noble or meaningful.
What other things is Love not about? Complete the sentence: "Love is not..."
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About the Author
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- From: tfz2101@xanga
- Name: frank
- About Me: What about me?
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Comments (26)
Love is not about avoiding lonliness.
Check out my dating disasters:
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
heh.... hm ..... pft
This is a REALLY good entry. I love it.
Love is not pushing yourself on someone else and trying to make them love you.(If that makes any sense.)
Love is not...properly described by this blog.
Your sense of nostalgia for some time that didn't exist -- when love was somehow more real -- is bizarre to me. Also, each of the things you say aren't interchangeable with "love" certainly can be -- it just depends on who you are and what kind of relationship you're seeking.
This bothered me the most:
"It isn't personal growth or sharing experiences. It isn't about finding
an equal intelligence, mental infatuation, nor sharing ideas."
Why the fuck not?
Love is NOT a tangible thing. It's an abstract concept, and defining it with other abstract concepts like "Genius" or "Beauty" doesn't make any sense, profound nor simple.
I do not understand why this post harangues against the modern perception of love, and then proceeds to define it for the rest of us unenlightened sheep. Way to teach us mere mortals what love truly is, my Lord.
Love is shaped by the parties involved, and no one should define it or limit its scope through a series of "nots" for anyone else.
love is a gift you share without the expectation of receiving gratification in return.
love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (heard this at a wedding)
Why is it so necessary to define love, when it means so many different things to so many people. Love may not be those things to you, but it may be to other people...does that make it any less? I hope not.
love is all about the other person. love was never, and is never, and never will be about yourself.
i think the best picture of love is found in the bible.
whether you are christian or not, i think we can all fall in love with this verse about love.
" Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
Um.... While I can appreciate your repulsion toward the commercialization and instant-gratification that many people confuse for love, defining love as "beauty" and "genius" is hysterical and makes no sense. It does not cheapen love to describe it in concrete terms.
You are right - that love is not about and should not be motivated by desires, insecurities, self-esteems, fears, or loneliness. But why the hell is love not about finding in someone else, a complement? Why is it not about mutual growth, understanding, and sharing? That does not cheapen love - it celebrates it!
love is not defined by words, it is felt with the heart. by: p0rcela1n_d0ll
..all it's cracked up to be.
..the greatest thing ever; nor the most "noble" or "meaningful".
..a "purpose or ambition to living" (wtf?!)
sorry, it just isn't.
I completely disagree with "Love was never about finding a complement to your self."
@sleepysouthie@xanga - I love you for writing that. ;)
nicely put
@tryingtofind_me@xanga - Agreed. My SO and I are easily each other's "other half". There are plenty of people out there who have a close-knit bond like ours.
Love is not defined by some chick (oh wait this was written by a dude) on a blog who hasn't been on this planet long enough to be nostalgic about what love used to be.
@SamBarger@xanga - "love is all about the other person". Bullshit. Fresh from the bull, shit. People seek out relationships and love because they are programmed to. If we don't have them, we get lonely and we don't like that. Who sets out on dating adventures with the mindset "This is all about them. I'm doing this solely so someone else can be happy."
No, you go out on dates because like the old saying goes, you're trying to "do what makes you happy".
@mcmeister89@mancouch -we aren't talking about dates. we are talking about love. and just because you date someone, doesnt mean you love them.
BOOM.
@SamBarger@xanga - You typically date someone trying to find love. But for the sake of argument, lets say some Disney magic happens and you fall in love at first sight (or at least after a night of frolicking through some park) and you decide that you're in love. Doing something solely for the other person means you get nothing in return. We know this isn't the case in a relationship. You continue to see that person because it makes you happy and vice versa for them. Would you continue to date someone if you got nothing out of it? Of course not.
Love is not a feeling, it is a choice.
@meta_k@xanga - haha=)
@SharonJo@xanga - I agree, most of things are wrong.
That cookie looks so good O.O
Love is not a commodity. It cannot be bought or sold, bargained for or purchased. It isn't something that should be given away, either, however. It's not a casual object to be given away at the owner's disposal. Love is not exclusive. Love is all-knowing and love is wise. It is not, and never was, blind.
Love is not selfish.