I feel like I go through boys like I go through hair ties.
I never really date them long enough for anything to get serious because after about two weeks or less of getting to know each other, the novelty of it all just wears off and it’s usually around that time that I meet a new guy that holds my interest better than the one before. Am I just a commitment-phobe or is it my own attention span?
This doesn’t happen when I’m meeting friends regardless of their gender but if it turns out to be something more, I just get bored of them within a month. Usually I feel bad when I leave them like that because it’s not like they’ve really done anything wrong but the line “it’s not you, it’s me” just doesn’t seem to fit because there's been one or two guys in the past that held my attention for longer than a month.
Some people believe it is because I am young and still new to dating so I want to get as much as possible out of it and others just think I am in a constant need of someone’s undivided attention.
What do you think? Do you ever get that feeling of boredom midway through a new relationship? Do you stick with it to see where it goes or do you drop it like I do?
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Comments (34)
I have no clue what to say because I'm in the same boat as you. =/
There's nothing wrong with what you're doing and it would be wiser to end the relationship then continue it and be unhappy or create false hope. You just haven't found the right person yet or maybe you don't know what you're type is. However, 2 weeks is not enough time to really get to know someone. Try giving it a month and see where it goes from there. You can't always expect a person to stay the same throughout a relationship.
Yeah I am the same. I tend to give them a little longer though. You should hold out for a little while. Like a last chance to surprise you deal. Surprisingly they usually do surprise you :D
Fuck relationships, man. Seriously.
If you're looking for love, you're not supposed to strive for novelty.. When you're in a relationship, excitement is bound to wear off and come by less often.
If dating is your thing.. and all you like is the excitement, I'm not stopping you. Everyone dates for different reasons, I suppose.
I don't know how old you are, but it sounds like you're in the "novelty of dating" phase. You like dating around because it's exciting, and if you're young, there's no drive to find something that lasts. There's nothing wrong with that; lots of people are like that when they start dating.
Personally, I think long-lasting relationships are far more rewarding. It may not be quite the same excitement level, but you can keep things from getting boring. There's nothing like having someone who knows you through and through and who's there for you no matter what. Someone who knows what each facial expression of yours means, the perfect thing to do to cheer you up, or what you're going to say before you say it. It's amazing to have best friend and lover all in one loving package.
You'll get to that when you want to and when you're ready for it; no need to rush.I used to do that. It was just because no one held my attention. Or they "fell in love" way too fast. And no thank you, not what I wanted.
But then I found my guy and it was easy as heck to love him and then marry him. I think when you find the right person, it'll be easy to not lose interest.
if i'm not interested in a girl at first, i might give her a date to see how it goes. if i can't tell by the first date, i give her a second date. but normally i can tell by the second date whether i'm into her or not. for me, it's not really the boredom, it's whether there's any sparks, chemistry, or flow in our conversation. so when i'm interested in a girl, i'm willing to go all in. i could think or analyze all the possibilities, but i rather focus my energy with making her happy. i am not the type of guy that would go into a relationship just because i want to be in a relationship. that's not me. in fact, i actually prefer to focus on my career first before being in any relationship. so if i'm trying to build a relationship with a girl right now (which i am), it means i think she's the one.
You remind me of the last guy I dated. It hurts being on the receiving end of it.
Wow, I was definitely just about to post on this. I just got out of a long relationship, and so I'm trying to just have fun. As soon as a guy admits an interest in me, I lose my interest in him. I guess I'll just wait until I'm a little more ready; I hate rejecting people.
ahhh don't worry, you just haven't met the right one yet. I dated two boys last summer for two weeks each and found them terribly boring myself. You just need to hold out for someone special.
I think the excitement and discovery of a new species excites you and as soon as that wears off, you're off to claim to your next prey. Is there anything wrong with that? Yes and no. Perhaps you haven't found one that will capture your interests long enough for you to be in a serious relationship. Then again, if your boredom strikes within those time limit of two weeks frame, you may never really get to experience the feel of a real relationship when the honeymoon phase is over.
Honestly, there is nothing wrong with this. You're just finding out that the person is not right for you in a relationship. But you shouldn't rush into a relationship just because he's keeping your interest right now. Learn how to talk to these guys for a while before you dive in and you'll find out that they are either wrong for you or a perfect match. I have been pretty guilty of the boredom factor and now I just quit looking for a relationship and decided to wait until something great comes along. At least then, I'm more susceptible of finding someone that will sweep me off my feet.
i used to think i was a commitment-phobe, too- then i met my current guy. can't wait to spend my life with him
it's both you AND them- you like excitement, and they can't hold your interest. if you are young,- or even if you're older- what's the harm? dating for fun is awesome! just make sure that you are upfront about it. i once dated a fun guy for four months but knew he wasn't really boyfriend material; i told him i didn't want to be his girlfriend, but he wanted to keep seeing me. that way they know what they're getting into.
if a guy interests you, you dont need to date them you know. just be a friend ^^
same exact boat
i used to be the same way. i'm 17. i would date someone and it would be good, and then all of a sudden i'd get this gut feeling that it wasn't right. so i'd just end it. i never had a boyfriend for longer than a month until i met matt, who i've been dating for 3 months. yeah, that's not that long, but i can tell that it's right. i haven't had any of those bad feelings with him. so i don't think you're afraid of commitment, i think you just haven't found the right guy yet. and that's okay.
Maybe not. I think you should take a step back from relationships for a moment and decide what you really want. Start dating. I don't think it's that unhealthy to date, but being in a relationship and dating are two completely different things.
@HippocreneQueen@xanga - i thought i was alone ):
Perhaps, you shouldn't date then. If you know you're going to drop the dude in like 2 weeks, hold out on the dating thing for a while. I don't know you or what your situation really is, I just think that maybe there's something else can satisfy your excitment need better than dating a guy for 2 weeks. Maybe a relationship isn't a priority in your life right now. Focus on what is important first.
Just a thought. Only you know what is right for you.
I'm the same way. I just like to flirt but the guys usually wants a relationship with me but I decline a relationship because I'm not ready and I don't think he is relationship material even though he thinks that I am, which I'm surprised that he wants a relationship with me since I'm quite immature. I think they want a relationship because I do mention to them that I don't have sex or do anything sexual unless I'm in a committed relationship so that might be why
I enjoy the chase part but not the settling down part
I'd like to settle down one day when I find the person that I feel that undeniable connection with.
I am exactly like this. Except for me it's usually about two months. Seriously, this post is my life exactly. That's ridiculous. I'm trying to break the cycle right now by staying single for longer than I usually do (it's normally two months in a relationship, then two weeks single, then two months in a relationship, etc.), but I don't know how it's going to work. I'm trying. I hope things go well for you as well.
i wish.
You're young! You don't really have to start worrying about this until after college :p I wish I had warmed up to my long term relationships with shorter ones just so I had some more information about how to deal with guys >.< This would be a good time to figure out what you want ^^
Thank you for telling my life that just happened to me just a while ago. I happened to just break up in my latest relationship because I thought in the beginning "wow they are a good person to be around with and I think I like them." So we hit it off and then less than a month I just had to tell them I can't continue it anymore.
The receiving end of course does not like it and ends up beating themselves up a bit mentally and physically. My ex? Well... Just suffered the most during that day.
I'm thinking of not going into another relationship but I'm also wishing I was in a relationship that I can be happy and for a long time. I should focus on the main priorities (school, work, family, etc.)
So you're not the only person feeling this way. And I'm glad I'm not the only person feeling this way too.
Just calm down and control yourself and not think about "love". That person (supposedly) will come out of no where and spike your interest. You just wouldn't know it and it wouldn't be "love at first sight". I don't believe in that junk.