Monday, 26 April 2010
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You, Me, & Dupr...Chuck and His Hooker
Admittedly, when it comes to my husband I, we don't have many complaints. Sure, he doesn't always agree with my shopping habits but he indulges me in other things. Like reenacting Little Red Riding Whore and always giving me an enthusiastic "yes!" when I ask if my boobs look bigger.But there is one thing about him, I just can not stand. His friend, Chuck. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those bitchy wives that hates all of Sam's friends. On the contrary, I love most of the guys he hangs out with. And not just because I've teabagged the better half of them at a particularly rowdy poker night.
Sam introduced me to Chuck when we first started dating. Naturally, I wanted to make a good impression so I wore my highest Steve Madden platforms (suck it, it was 2002) and spent the entire evening proving that I was the "cool" girlfriend (read: drank too much and threw up in the parking lot of TGI Fridays). Chuck spent the entire evening bragging about how his girlfriend had jerked him off under the table the first time he met her parents.
Perhaps if I had been one less rum & coke away from barfing I might have been more inclined to keep my mouth shut. But alas, I informed him that if that was even possible, hand jobs were so 7th grade summer camp.
Our contempt for each other has been evident ever since. So when he sent Sam a Facebook message announcing that he'd be in Philly for the week, I was less than thrilled. Not only does he want to stay with us, but he wrote that he's actually hoping Sam knows a girl who would be "willing to spend the night with" him, if "you know what I mean, mate." Well, Chuck, I'm not your "mate" but I'm going to take a wild guess and say you want to bang a hooker.
I have 3 issues with this.
A. What girl is going to be willing to 'spend the night' with you, sight unseen and not get paid for it?
B. You think Sam of all people, knows this girl? And
C. You have a girlfriend, scumbag. Yes, the one smiling obnoxiously in your Facebook pic with a bad dye job and a snaggle tooth. If I was really a bitch I might be inclined to forward this little message to Miss Jerk Off Champ U.K. circa 2002, instead I have just decided that no, Chuck, cannot stay with us. Sam, of course, thinks we should say yes.What do you think? Should Chuck stay with us?
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- From: BecknCallGrl@xanga
- About Me: Your boyfriend thinks I'm prettier than you.
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Comments (19)
Ya probably. He doesn't sound like the kind of friend you really want in your husband's life but alas, your husband is an adult and will choose his own friends. And since it is his friend you need to let him extend the courtesy that a friend is expected to.
But....as for the hooker. Well she is not your husband's friend and it is your house so you can easily slam your foot down without anyone feeling like you have overstepped your bounds in that area.
So in summation, chuck- yes; prostitute- no.
i'd say to allow him to stay but not to bring any random women home, but
it sounds like he isn't even trustworthy enough to not bring women home
with him if you allow him to stay.
dude, he may be your husband's friend, but you and your husband are a team. if you don't want the guy staying with you because you think he's a scumbag, your husband should respect your wishes. and anyway, if you were legally allowed to drink in 2002, that means you guys are around 30 and this guy should nut up and get a hotel instead of inconveniencing his friends like a broke college student.
he is too cheap to pay for a hooker so he hopes to be hooked up with someone who doesn't cost money, wants to bang a hooker at your place instead of renting a motel to cheat on his girlfriend. he shouldn't stay at your place. I think he'll leave used condoms laying around the floor and not even have the courtesy to clean up afterwards. ugh
YOU'RE SO COOL. t-bagging? vomiting in a parking lot? i'm really impressed by you're bad-ass ways! you must be the life of the party...
...NOT.
while the focus of the post was supposed to be on chuck, i'm more
distracted by the obvious insecurity and trashiness that this post
reeks of. i don't know which cosmo magazine recommended you to drink to
oblivion and slut up in order to impress, but i do feel sorry for you.
hope you find you grow up a bit. if you're looking for your dignity, it's probably somewhere in the alleyway gutter where you left it.
Did you tell your husband that you don't think it's right for you guys to be facilitating Chuck's cheating on his girlfriend? Perhaps a word from your husband ("Dude, if you want to cheat on your girlfriend, go to a motel; otherwise you're welcome to stay with us") or even from you (it is your house too) would work.
Chuck plus the prosty is 100% not good. Chuck minus? Maybe, talk it over more with hubby.
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@x - lol i was thinking the same thing!
but, what chuck does with his life is nothing to do with you even if its immoral. he is however ur hubbys friend, so u probably should let him stay or let your husband make the final call.
im just saying lol cos i know if i was in ur husbands shoes and my friend wanted to come over i would let them even if that friend had questionable morals
Bros before hos.
@x - That's what I was thinking. What a pathetic life to live :/
@Jane - I concur. My thoughts exactly. :)
um im confused over the fact that youve teabagged guys? exactly how did you do this? i was under the impression that teabagging means a guy puts his balls well you know... so if youre a chick... how is that accomplished?
Let Chuck stay with you, but lay some rules down because it is YOUR home.
Not if he is going to bring dirty hooker to YOUR home.
@x - Haha, win.
Don't listen to these dumb datingish whores, they can't tell a joke from the rolls on their stomachs. I thought your post was funny.
As for the douche: You should allow him to stay but only have daytime guests. Your place, your rules.
Your post was hilarious!
My take on it: I'd notify Sam that I'm going to be out of town that week to a college friend's place while Chuck's in town, so as to not disturb his best friend's fun over his wife's comfort.
And, I would put it in those words.
And, I would be absent the next morning, illustrating the point.
And...I'd be called, two days into my personal retreat, getting notified that Chuck has found a nearby Parker-Spruce Hotel.
He's just an asshole. He'll get his dues eventually. Until them, just say that he can't bring the hooker there to the house.
Meh, I'd offer to put him up at a hotel. I mean it sucks for you guys to pay for him not to stay at your house, but ... I'd pay not to have that guy stay at my house. He seems like just the sort of boundary-pushing guy who would bring home a whore even if you told him not to.
If Chuck stays with you two, then he can't have a hooker. I mean, why would either of you want that kind of stuff going on under your own roof?