Sunday, 25 April 2010

• From Single to "It's Complicated" – Part III

  
  I still remember how I couldn't wait for High School to start so that I could start dating more "mature" guys. Boy was I wrong but then again, at 14 (a freshmen) you think senior boys are like...so mature and junk?
  
  Anyway, if you're wondering why it took so long for me to write part 3, that's because it's been a while and I have to get all the details sorted out. During my freshmen year, there were a lot of hot seniors. I can only describe my high school experience to the movie "Mean Girls." Obviously, I wasn't one of the hot plastics but I was part of the cool Asians table except we weren't Vietnamese and didn't sleep with our gym teacher. Young and unsure of myself, I let people talk me into dating guys I weren't really interested in. Thank god I was always smart enough to cut myself loose once they started hinting at playing hide the salami.
  
  By Junior year, I finally met this College boy who I was crazy about. A bit older but that's how I liked them. I seriously consider him my first real boyfriend because I felt I was old enough to know what a real boyfriend was. Everything was great until he cheated on me. My girl friend saw him with another girl getting hot and heavy while waiting to get into a club. Too bad they didn't have camera phones back then because I wasn't sure if I believed her. After all she did say she was surprised that I had snag someone like him because she thought I was so mousey and plain. Part of me seriously thought that she was making shit up and trying to break us up because he didn't go after her. We all met at the same party.
  When I finally decided to ask him, he denied it, called me immature and stated "that's what I get for dating such an insecure little girl." I apologized because I was young and pretty much a pathetic loser and wanted to be "Mature" for him. Then he started to ignore my calls. Next thing I know, he simply vanished as if I had made him up for the last couple of months. When he finally resurfaced again, it was at a random party my friend had dragged me to during senior year. I saw him. Making out with a girl. He saw me. And walked right by me as if was invisible. I now know he was an asshole. A user. And he broke my young heart then.
  
  During my summer before heading off to college, he called me out of the blue to apologize for being a dick. I feigned ignorance and was nonchalant as we spoke. I started being a cock tease to him only to get him back and told him I needed to find a fuck buddy. He fell for it and planned a weekend getaway. Everything was booked and when he showed up at my house to pick me up. I wasn't there. He left me angry messages but I ignored him and it felt good at the time. Giving him a dose of his own medicine.
  
  We continued to play this little cat and mouse game until I went off to college. My friends kept trying to tell me to stop and that no good ending can come out of this. I didn't listen, I was on my own path of destruction. When they asked me why I was doing this. I told them "it's complicated..."
  
  

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