Every couple weeks or so, there's a new post about how people immaturely or prematurely use the "L" word. The prominent reasoning is that using the "L" word is immature because the person using it generally doesn't have a clear understanding of what the "L" word encompasses. Either it's that the person is too young/inexperienced or the person doesn't know his/her SO long enough to be able to understand what love is, or simply both.
While I do not deny the possibility that one doesn't know his/her SO well enough for such little time to be able to make such a statement, I completely disagree with the thought that age or experience defines the "L" word. I used it when I was 14, and I don't regret it. I still use it today, if the situation deems it worthy.
A couple years ago, my friend told me, "you're 17 now, you have no idea what love is."
So, tell me, wise man, what is love?
I guarantee you that wise man will have no better answer than what my 14 year old self has. Although his answer may entail more relationship aspects or perhaps have more sound reasoning, he does not know love. At the very least, he cannot know my love.
Love, like everything else in the relationship realm, is relative (beauty, attraction, chemistry, you name it). When I'm 22, 28, or even 44 (hopefully with a wife), I will still have no definition of what love is. At what age does one suddenly have a clear understanding of love? At what age does one definitively start using it correctly? Oh, if only love were that convenient.
When I tell you "I love you," I mean, "as far as I know in my life, from my experiences, what I feel for you is beyond my own comprehension, and I can only imagine that it is love." So, when I said it at 14, I meant, "as far as I know, what I feel for you is love." When I say it now, I take into account my new understanding through experiences, and I mean, "as far as I know, what I feel for you is love." A dictionary definition will not dam my emotional river, and if my river flows passionately, then the word "like" will not suffice.
Is my theory of relativity far-fetched? Are my views too idealistic? Or do you agree that the "L" word is relative and determined on the experiences and analysis of the user?
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Comments (30)
amen to that :)
I Agree. :)
finally.
Yes, yes yes. Wonderful. :)
damn, when i clicked on the title, i thought it was going to be about the show. T^T
Excellent perspective :)
I agree with you whole-heartedly. No two relationships are exactly alike, so why should love feel the same to everyone? =] Great post.
Makes perfect sense to me :)
I agree :)
Loving someone is the easiest thing in the world to do.
An opinion, and a fact. Amen to that!
i agree 110%. love is relative.
I agree 100%.
I agree. But more than that I think people place way too much importance on love as a word and no one stops to realize love as an action is way more important. And anyone, absolutely anyone, even a 4 year old child can act in love. If someone chooses to call it love or not is up to them. But if you feel love SAY it, because nothing is going to keep you from showing it whether it is "too early" or not. And the action is what has the lasting effect.
@Jane - I agree with the original post and particularly your response to it. Love is indeed different for everyone and those three words are too often thrown around with nothing to back them up. If you truly feel a special connection to someone, there shouldn't be anything or anything stopping you from declaring your love.
@veronika_grey@xanga - I did too. :(
im 17 & can admit i have no idea what love is.
I agree with you entirely! Thank you sooo much for writing this. (:
I never said out loud that I loved someone, because I personally don't easily say it since I cherish it so much and not many people have earned my love. I fell in love just once. I think they can feel the love in my presence and the way I look at him like a telepathic connection of sorts
I totally 100% agree. I mean, who are they to tell us we dont know what love is? And maybe they're telling us this because THEY dont know what love is to them. I'm 15 and I know what love is to me. But to someone else, it may be something entirely different.
Thank you so much for writing this. You've inspired me in ways you dont know.
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It's sad, it's depressing, that when we hear the phrase "L word" now we think of something sinister, something dark, foul, and evil...and not Love!
Love is a serious word and act...It means that you have a long term commetment to your partner. That's why many people avoid saying it coz they are not sure about themselves first and about their partners second. It's simply adopting your partner's everything and give yourself to your partner. Love is never sex...Sex is one of the tiny ways to express love.
@CapsizedHearts@xanga - Ditto.
I always feel hesitant to respond to these kinds of blogs because if I have no idea what it is, how can I tell other people if they do or not?
@S_K_O_T@xanga - What dark sinister thing are we thinking of? I think of love first, and then the wonderful show by the same name. Is there another connotation of this phrase I've been missing my whole life?