Wednesday, 21 April 2010
Long story short, I was discussing the concepts of jealousy and possessiveness in a relationship with my long-term boyfriend today, and we agreed that those two emotions/practices are rather unnecessary in a relationship, etc. ..That was the initial conclusion we came to, and one which he agreed with.
However, add another hour or two and some jokes about a certain Britney Spears song into the mix, and he later admits that he would "not mind" if I were possessive of him. (I never have been in the past, and I'm not at all a person prone to feeling jealousy). But when he coaxed it out of me that I would -hypothetically- be a tad bit more possessive-like than jealous, the follow responses were exchanged:
Me: "I don't mean that I'd ever be possessive or controlling in 'that way.' Not even in the sense that I'd literally just 'want you to be mine'."
Him: "Ah, you're already in control though I'm afraid.. You do have a certain power over me."
Me: "..What? Oh, but that's certainly a more mild 'control' that just comes with loving anyone..where two people have 'control' over one another in the sense that they wouldn't do stupid things to hurt them."
Him: "But you're not just a person. I know you're going to find this ridiculous, but well, you're like a goddess to me. So I don't mind if you're possessive, because I'm just yours either way."
Me: "Ok, that's sweet, but possessiveness is only flattering to a certain extent.."
Him: "I'm yours to the full extent, in every sense of the word."
Me: "But I don't want you to think it'd ever be as if I'd try to control you, or anything.."
Him: "But you could. If you wanted to, you could. You can make me do anything you want. You obviously have control over my faithfulness, but over what you want me to do too."
Is he insane? Is this normal in love? Is it an overture to S&M? Is he just doing what people should do when in love, when they know their partner wouldn't take advantage of them?