Big issues such as cheating on your SO, abusing your SO, robbing him/her, or just being simply too controlling and paranoid of course can break relationships. But petty arguments can build up and take its toll. Some arguments could point out a real underlying problem in the relationship, but some are just downright silly.
Here are some common things, ranging from specific to general issues, that make some couples' hairs split:
1. Intonation/Interpretation. "Don't use that tone of voice with me" or "I know you didn't mean to say it like that but that's how
I felt/you came off."
2. Double Standards. "If you can poop with the door open, I can too!" Maybe not about things that are that private, but perhaps double standards rise from gender biases. Whatever it is, it's silly if a person thinks it's okay to do something but condemn another for doing the same.
3. Talking to another person of the opposite sex in a friendly manner. This is the classic relationship issue. Sometimes the SO is just ridiculously and insanely jealous, or their partner is a flirt.
4. Not making the promised phone call. I'm a firm believer of keeping promises, but sometimes forgetting to call is possible due to a busy schedule. Sending a text that you won't be able to call would be nice, but even a nice explanation afterward will do. Don't get upset while your SO is trying to explain reasonably!
5. Small Annoyances. Whether it's because your partner is chewing with his or her mouth open, leaving the toilet seat up, hogging the remote, or forgetting to say "I love you" at the end of the phone call, these usually build up and lead to very aggressive arguments.
Petty arguments are so annoying. How they arise can be detrimental to your relationship (say, your SO bringing something up that's been bothering him/her every few hours), but how you deal with them is extremely important, too.
All of these can actually become a real problem. Whether it's having too many petty arguments, or being really inconsiderate and one or more of these problems actually become hazardous issues, a relationship could down spiral. Sometimes petty arguments all of a sudden become microcosms of a bigger issue. Eg.) "You always hog the remote control. You know, this is just like you. You are always so controlling of every situation and I always have to be the submissive one!"
Personally, whether I'm the one that's bothered or on the receiving end, I try to take a break from my SO and cool down so I can think clearly.
One of my friends said make-up sex would always relieve the situation momentarily, but it only delay the situation and nothing would get resolved.
What other petty arguments can you think of? Do you think they can really break a relationship? How do you deal with petty arguments?
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Comments (24)
putting words in one another's mouth "don't put words in my mouth!" right? ha!
Assuming things... That's a big one... I think the jealousy thing is nailed.
i do my best not to bring up petty things. it's very easy for me to think of all the ways my man is good to me, and in light of his patience with all my bullshit, i just remind myself to be patient with him. ... huh... i'm surprised by my own answer, actually... i guess i got it pretty good..!
number 4 has never bothered me like it bothers other people. i mean, unless they swore up and down that they'd call, it's just a phone call to me.
and if i have a small annoyance i'll try to politely address it before i flip out about it.
I usually try to overlook the petty things but it builds up and starts a big argument later when we might blurt it all out due to anger or whatever else triggered a hazardous response.
Putting the toilet roll the wrong way.
Squeezing the toothpaste in the middle / end. Leaving the toilet seat up / down.Number 5 was a big one during my 2.5 year relationship. It was the second biggest reason why we broke up, other than the drifting apart because I was at college and he was not issue.
this is sooo true. i am guilty of a few...!
Me and riley fight about 1 and 2 all the time :/, but we are getting better. And the arguments never last for more than x amount of hours. And we always end up saying were sorry, idiots, and care about each other. Yeah I know, you all can gag now lol.
The double standards thing is really a problem for me. I don't appreciate it when my boyfriend goes out with his friends instead of having our planned skype date (LDR) and then gets furious with me about hanging out with my friends in a similar manner. But we've talked it over and really just agreed we'll let each other know if something comes up.
if it's rational and practical, go with it. if not, rationally explain how it doesn't work that way.
of course, do leave space open for your significant other to modify his/her preposition and then take it to the parliament.
#1 is the biggest thing for me, especially when there's a misunderstanding. He makes me look like the bad person and doesn't think about it from my point of view, and it just makes the conversation even worse.
@queenof__hearts@xanga - @And_I_love@xanga - I agree with both of yours as well.
And all of the above. well, except the phone call.that one I haven't really ever had any problems with.But I think 1 2 & 5 are the biggest ones in my relationship.Usually the small annoyances gets brought up and resolved fairly easily.But the double standards, that one bugs me the most.
I think it's the biggest problem for my relationship.although, we do tend to see it from each others point of view in the end.
I do believe that they could be a cause to the end of a relationship, but more so from them building up until they turn into something bigger. I think if you have a good solid relationship and are able to talk to your SO even if it is difficult at times, you should be able to work through the little things.
my solution to number 4 dont say you will call them back or at all but the double standard one can run me tired ive never met so many guys that think i cant do something cuz im a girl, just dont make the assumption its that easy
pride.
assuming..
makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me"
hahaha~ happens all the time..
My SO and I argue about #1 more often than I'd like to admit. It's frustrating because he's not good at reading people in general and constantly projects his emotions onto others without realizing it. I, on the other hand, have some psychological problems that sometimes prevent me from being able to express emotions at all or properly conveying the right tone for the situation. This only serves to compound our inability to understand each other at times.
assumptions and unwillingness to listen to the other. Very very very very big one.
Oh and not being able to see and realize the way you're being from your so's perspective
#1 is killer for me. My boy's not so talkative, so I think I over compensate for that by generally assuming things based on his tone/facial expressions, many of which are accurate, but sometimes I take it too far. Sometimes he acts carelessly, and I take it to heart, which I shouldn't. Oy!
Actually these points are just in general and the one bringing up the issue to the other can just be one of two people who have no particular closeness to the other . . . EXCEPT For That Number THREE!!! I don't care who that 2nd gal is or what she is doing or what she is wearing while she is doing it . . . Treat her like a Parking Meter and you didn't even park your car in that city. Don't even bat and eye; don't even take a second look. Just leave it alone. You can always get back to it when you don't have to be entertaining that local audience of on-lookers . . . If you know what I mean?? Okay? Jealousy sucks! Yes indeed, jealousy sucks!! I DEFINITELY go along with that Number 3.
My SO and I fight about 1, 2, 3, and 5 all the time. 3 is what gets me; he's too flirty and I'm a jealous monster when it comes to other girls, mostly because he cheated on me before... Him and I just have different views on "friendly" conversation.
Nothing fights suck! My SO and I fight about stupid things such as, "why are you still talking? The joke wasn't funny when you first said it. I understood it, it just wasn't funny"
time spent in a store, grocery stores, especially a walmart/kmart type store, i myself browse around, look for things i didnt go for specificly, i admit im a little add and i take a little time tryin to remember if im forgetting to buy something, now stereotypically this situation is backwards, seeing as im a man, and my girlfriend is the one who acts like shes on a timed shopping spree and has to get to the register within two minutes, the rushing from her only makes my anxiety/add worse causing me to take even longer bc im trying to hurry, this has caused such a fuss theres been agreement set than when we move in together, we are going shopping seperately.. on different budgets, btw bc i buy things that i want occationaly, while she only gets bare neccesaties.. another stereotype breaker huh?
"One of my friends said make-up sex would always relieve the
situation momentarily, but it only delay the situation and nothing would
get resolved."
that doesn't even make sense. make-up sex is supposed to be AFTER you make-up, which is why it's called make-up sex......