Monday, 19 April 2010
-
Vexed by the Idea of Teenage Love
I've been wondering lately, how can teenagers be "in love"?
Would it not simply be infatuation?
As teenagers, we're growing, and we do not yet know ourselves to be capable of something so complicated, right? But then again, some of us are mature enough that we truly know ourselves well enough to venture to new grounds. I'm so vexed by this issue because a lot of people claim to be in love when they can't possible love someone after going out on one date. It cannot seriously be possible. (Unless of course they new each other for a while and finally decided to go out) but still even then, they don't really know each other, do they? It takes knowing someone in many different areas of their life. It takes seeing them when they're with their friends, when they're with you, when they're with their parents or family, etc.
Backing up a few steps and bringing up love vs. infatuation, we should really look at the different definitions.
Infatuation: "A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction. 2. An object of extravagant, short-lived passion."
Love: "1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. 2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance."
One is foolish and clearly not thought out. The other is created over a long amount of time, that involves a hell of a lot of trust and commitment.
So, knowing that, is it possible for teenagers to be in love? Or, to word it right, is it possible for people who are not fully mature to fall in love?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: alice_eigailia@xanga
- About Me: I'm an open-minded soul. I believe that everyone is entitled to their own decisions in life, and I'm not against abortion, homosexuality or bisexuality (as I am bisexual) or even hederosexuality. I have nothing against Atheists, Christians, Wiccans, Mormons, Buddhists, or any other type of religion, they all need to be accepted. Labels and people who discriminate absolutely infuriate me, because I really don't have it in me to hate anyone. I am a poet, but mostly just a writer. Prose poems are my favorite. On this blog I do not have a name, race, or age, for I write here for therapeutic reasons only.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 4 Views: 0 10361 Comments: 0 277 View all posts by alice_eigailia@xanga
Comments (169)
You don't sound as open-minded as you claim.
i think teenagers can fall in love, sure. i know several couples who fell in love in high school and went on to get married.
the fascinating thing that they express is how little they knew of the pitfalls they might run into. not to say that teenage love can't last--obviously, for some of my friends, it has worked out wonderfully. i just think that, perhaps, overall it's a little tougher to make it work in the long run.
@AutumnShadowsQ@xanga - agreed!
If a baby can love a mother, if a dog can love a human, why couldn't two freshman in college love each other? Love isn't nearly as complicated as you are making it out to be. It doesn't take a fully developed mind to love. So what now kids with autism can never love? Because their minds are not fully developed? Come on. You don't need to be twenty five to be "qualified to love."
"Hey happy birthday, you're twenty five right?"
"Yep! I'm finally old enough to love! Thank goodness!"
LOL
@AutumnShadowsQ@xanga - I agree as well.
Only the person themselves truly know whether or not it is love. While you don't believe you can fall in love while you're a teenager, there are others who do. I know some who were together in high school and got married several years later.
It's not like turning 18 suddenly makes you mature, as they claim it's the age of being an adult. People need to stop defining that love can only happen when you're "old enough."
There is no right or wrong age/maturity to experience love. I do think that a certain level of maturity needs to be reached before certain levels of commitment are had though, such as marriage or living with an SO.
It's possible for anyone to be in love. It's not complicated, it's the simplest thing in the world. If you can trust, if you can care about someone's well-being, and if you can be attracted to someone, then you can love, because all love is is doing those three things at once.
I fell in love when I was a teenager. I am 20 years old (as of tomorrow), and I'm still in love with my boyfriend. Madly in love. If anybody told me I didn't know what love was I'd be seriously offended. I know what love is, and I know what it means. I feel it everyday as it continues to grow. I am in love and have been for years.
Some people, even adults, misuse the word love which has ruined it for those who truly feel it.
I think it can come at any time in fact I think sometimes the older you get the harder it is to let yourself fall in love becuase you been through it or seen other people love becomes scary and painful I think the best loves come at the younger age the first one its still innocent and trusting
The people you talk to that say they "love" someone is using the word loosely, which is probably why you are confused. Is it impossible to love someone at a young age? No.
If teenagers are incapable of love, than almost everyone who got married in the olden days weren't in love. I highly doubt that there is a developmental limit on love.
I don't think there should be a fixed definition for love. It's such an intangible idea.
If you have to refer to this definition of love as the feeling of blah blah blah and write-out a checklist to make sure that you fulfil every single thing and only then qualify yourself as being in love, I really don't think you are.
Besides, it's a very personal feeling so we probably shouldn't judge others about it since we won't know how they are feeling right (:
Can teennagers fall in love? Yes. Can they keep that love going? No. They don't know how.
My question to you is: How would you know if someone is in love or not unless you're that person?
Why do you think teenagers feel any differently to adults? You seem to have a very skewed perception of what teenagers are...
@Bluekiller2025@xanga - That is a false statement as well. There are plenty of couples who started out as teenagers and end up being together and marrying each other. Are there those split up? Yes. But it can't and will never be ruled out that no one can keep a love going.
I know adults who are immature enough to say they love someone after only knowing them a few weeks. And I know young people who understand love.
Ignorance and immaturity have nothing to do with age, IMO
You can't put an age on love.
& love isn't at ALL as complicated as people make it out to be.
If anyone's incapable of loving, it's the older...
imo.
Love doesn't have an age. I'm sixteen, almost seventeen. I have been in love.
@belladonnabutterflies@xanga - I completely and wholeheartedly agree with you.
I think people (of all ages) find it easy to think they are in love with someone, especially at the onset of a relationship, when in reality they are in love with their *imagination* of who the SO is. After awhile they realize their fantasy of this person isn't lining up with reality, and, bingo, "I don't love you anymore". That's why (lasting) love takes time.
I have been with my fiance since I was 14, I am now about to be 18. I have seen many other young couples act foolishly and clearly not love each other, but then I have met other like myself and my fiance. It's not as rare as you think, most people actually want a real relationship, regardless of age.
@Bluekiller2025@xanga - Wow, way to make a broad generalization that's been dis-proven time and time again [high school sweethearts, hello!].
I think it can happen (for example, my aunt and uncle started dating in high school, and they're one of the happiest couples I know). Then again, they'd known each other since elementary school, so it wasn't such a far stretch.
I think when people, like my brother, who starts to date in 6th grade and swears on the bible that he was 'in love' with every single girl he dated needs to be handed a dictionary flipped open to "infatuation".
In other words, it's possible, but rare.
I think I understand what you're trying to say... but I disagree. I fell in love with my first serious boyfriend in high school, and I was fourteen. I knew that was love. And I fell in love once more with my most recent ex, and I was eighteen. Granted, I do think it's stupid to throw the word "love" around when you've only known each other for a month and have dated for a few days, but that's not to say that teenagers don't know what love is.
We all have different definitions on 'love'. So whatever love is to you, and it may not apply for the rest of us. Clearly, I'm disagreeing with you. xD
@AutumnShadowsQ@xanga & @babixk1umzy@xanga - Agreed!
@Pheism@xanga - LOL.
I think it all depends on what you're definition of love is, and how you define what attaining love should be like.
I'm a teenager and I can honestly claim that I have been 'in love'. At least, in love the way I assume love is (which by all means is the correct way in my opinion, because of the mere fact that that is what I believe love is). I've known the guy for three years, and I knew I loved him the middle of the second year into it. Being in love with him doesn't mean I want to be with him forever (because I don't). It just means that I care infinitely for him, to the point where he has hurt me repeatedly and yet, if he's hurt, I run to him to make sure he's okay. I sacrifice my own time to see him happy. That's what love is to me, and that emotion, I believe, can exist at any point in time during our lives.
Teenage committment, on the other hand, could be challenged.
Love at first sight too. But then again, that might be an individual's definition of love - and who are we to break someone's definition if they believe in it strong enough to follow it through?
@Gorrific@xanga - Congrats, first of all! Not many can stay in love from such a young age, but congrats to you for proving it's possibility!
I'm sixteen, my boyfriend is seventeen, and we're in love. We are aware of the fact that we're both teenagers, but we are hoping to prove that our love can last. Just because you're young does not mean that you are incapable of love. It means that you may have trouble with committing to love for long periods of time, true, but that can also be disproved. I knew my boyfriend for 8 months before dating him- we were best friends. The kind that tell each other everything. We had a great relationship foundation, and we love each other, and we've been together for awhile now. Now is that so hard to believe?