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I can't believe I'm admitting this, except I know I can't be alone in this. The other day I had a tummy bug, and I tried to wipe the best I could but later...well I had skid marks.
Yeah, NOT pretty.
I was so relieved that I'd found them before getting down to business with my SO, because that would be not only gross, but embarrassing as well.
And there have been times, during 69 when, well...there were some suspicious little brownish balls caught in the hairs behind his sack...And I know there have been times he's gone down and gotten those tiny toilet paper crumbs...It's an occupational hazard for the sexually active, those body functions being next door neighbors the way they are.
I try to clean up and avoid the above situations but sometimes we get spontaneous and there isn't time to shower, change, etc. Sometimes I just don't know until it's too late.
So fess up, Datingish family. Has sh*t happened to you? How did you handle it?
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Comments (21)
It hasn't happened YET. lol Use baby wipes! If you carry a purse, keep those little travel packs in there.
Baby wipes are your friend.
I don't think shit has ever happened to me, either on my or my boyfriend's end, except in the case of someone actually having to take a shit. Maybe me and my partners are just exceptionally clean though.../shrug.
Wasn't this on Mancouch?
@WhenHateIsTheOnlyOption@xanga - It was.
no thankfully not. I am pretty blunt and so is my boyfriend. We would probably be like "Um, could you clean yourself up hun? I think you missed a spot." And we would live. We are both clean, healthy, type A people though. So yeah, I don't know when that would happen.
most people know how to wipe their ass!
I get the toilet paper crumbles most often. Ughhh. :(
I think I just threw up.
these rules should be added and followed...
#71. you don't get any on days where you had to take a dump
#87. you must shower before getting it on or you don't get any
Congratulations - you've successfully made me never want to have sex again.
Check out my dating disasters:
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
HAHAHA!!!!
Ummmm.....this has happened to me on both ends....no details 
ew about your s.o's thing, not about you because you found them earlier. i think i would be really disgusted. that's why people say "let me freshen up" or "i'll meet you there in 3 mins". i think the toilet paper crumbs is okay cuz it's just paper. but you're looking at dingleberries. that is really disgusting. it's already bad that you have to look at your own. but someone else's too??? but then people have anal sex. I'm sure that's equally disgusting in terms of when you take it out.
The toilet paper problem sucks. He found some when we were doing it doggy style, and made sure I knew about it mid-coitus. Not much I can do about it in that position!
sure, it happens. sex is messy.
still, there are certain personal hygiene habits to be observed...
my situation ws slightly similar but different.. it wasnt sh*t that surprised me or partner .. it was mother nature..we were having sex and right in the middle of it he had noticed some blood.. i had gotten my period early.. how embarrassing for me.. thankfully he was mature and didnt get all grossed out..we just took it to the shower ..he was just glad he hadnt decided to perform orally because i think that would have been a complete turn off for the both of us.
I'm not into sack licking or anything near the poop hole so I don't think I'll encounter that problem. if he doesn't trim and just looking at his curly pubes is enough to turn me off from doing anything orally. once he lays a fart, I'm turned off for the day or might have to wait around 12 hours or something for the sexually repulsed side effect to pass. I'll handle it by watching tv for a couple hours until I get in the mood again
i always require a shower before getting dirty to prevent this from happening.
Wet wipes darling, buy him a set too...
nothing as bad as all that.. but my husband bled in my eye during sex right after we got married. he was on top and had a nosebleed... right into my eye!!!
I don't think that has ever happened to me. Lol. My hubby and I usually do "oral" sex when we both shower. Lol.
One time I was giving a guy a blow job, when he abruptly stopped me and pushed me off... it startled me! So I asked what was wrong, feeling so bewildered. Then, he ran across the room naked and told me he had to fart. So, he farted and then went back to the bed and expected me to finish blowing him!!! Ughhhhh such a turn off