Saturday, 17 April 2010
-
The Anti-Boyfriend
So, I'm in a bit of a predicament at this time in my life. I have known this certain guy for almost two years, and I've gotten myself into some deep fervor. He is in a band, quite committed, and I am their graphic designer. Usually it's just the Myspace stuff and flyers for shows. I normally base the way I feel for other's around our interests, but more times then none the guy is simply saying he likes everything I do for obvious reasons.Thus, making it impossible for the relationship to last more than two months. With this guy, it's completely different. Conversing came easily, it flowed naturally, as if I had every right to be myself around him. We are both aspiring, young, musicians. Vocalists to be exact. He is, however, two years older than I am.
In both our opinions, age is but a number. He expressed to me in these exact words a while ago, "Our souls are connected." Cheesy? Yes, but I've held onto those four words for quite some time. I know I can trust him as well, because if he was after what every other guy is after, he would have stopped talking to me everyday by now.
So, I don't and never will count on being beguiled by this person.
Different in every aspect of description, he is indeed a strong willed man. No matter what it takes, sacrifices will be made for his striving band. It's very successful of course, more so than most local bands, but the time consumption is always present.
Sure, we talk everyday, sometimes from morning until night (off and on through out the course of the day, obviously). But he hardly ever has any time to visit me anymore. I deal with it, mostly because he has a job and the band will be going on tour in July and they need all the money they can get.
So, why stress him even more over my silly intentions? That's why I've planned to give rise to my affection after the tour, but some of the things he says sway my decision.
I've only tried to talk to him about relationships three times so far, and every time I do I get the same reply. "Been there, done that. I'm far too busy right now, I would have no time to be a good boyfriend."
Should I proceed with asking him out after the tour? Or should I just move on and let it go?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: aninfiniteparadox@xanga
- Name: aninfiniteparadox
- About Me: Melody is my name and I am a die-hard celtic/folk metal woman! In a band you should check out! www.myspace.com/epsiloneridaniband Thanks!
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 1572 Comments: 0 19 View all posts by aninfiniteparadox@xanga
Comments (19)
Sounds to me like he's too busy and dedicated, told you so, and knows it. The only question is if you want to put out for the emotional risk or not.
"Been there, done that. I'm far too busy right now, I would have no time to be a good boyfriend" when coming from a musician usually translates to, "I'm gonna be on the road alot and want to experience life as much as I can without being tied down or loyal."
go for it!
ur still young, why not?
u got the world ahead of u!
Sounds like he wants to be left alone. He probably gets a lot of fangirls as a vocalist. IMHO, you seem kind of obsessed.
Talk with him again about a relationship again after the tour if you're that determined to see if it'll go anywhere. If he blows you off again, your best bet would probably be to move on. If it's meant to be, he'll come back around and be chasing you, instead of vice versa.
why not take the chance, you'll never know if you dont.
I suggest take the chance but always be prepared
I agree with @JinXd_Icicle@xanga, and her reasoning.
However, I'm a strong believer in "if you don't ask, you'll never know." If he agrees to a relationship, just be ready for rocks. If he doesn't want to make anything out of it, it's time to move on.
So, go for it. Just know what you're up for, and when to call it quits.
it means, if he commits into a relationship, he wants to be able to commit 100%. he's basically telling you that right now, is not the best time because most likely, you'll end up hurt because he's not able to commit himself completely. be patient, don't rush it. if you stick around long enough, and the chemistry is still there, then everything will work out in the end.
I personally think that if you love something let it go if it comes back its yours. I'm assuming your not in love, but you really care for the guy and gives you those butterflies and feelings you never had with no other guy. I think when he does get back after the tour, see if he's changed. Continue the relationship you do have with him and if it seems as if he wants to take it further, great. But I also think that while something could come of this later, it may be better to let it go. I had the exact same relationship with whom I am with now and we are getting married. and he was still interested in other girls and 'macking' on them if you will for quite a while. while we still talked all the time and hung out, he was vibing for me like I was for him and we are complete opposites of one another but fit together perfectly...well, as perfectly as non perfect people can. :) Best of luck to you.
u can wait for him to ask you or move on, which is kind of the same thing
@AutumnShadowsQ@xanga - Man I feel like every time I catch up on the lingo here on Xanga I fall behind. I just found out "IMO" is "in my opinion", now I'm seeing "IMHO" everywhere! What's it all mean!?!?
Two words: Move On.
The guy's not interested in a relationship, nor interested in being tied down to one person. You're wasting your time.
@freeeker@xanga - It means in my humble (or sometimes, honest) opinion. Basically the same thing with a little more courtesy.
@JinXd_Icicle@xanga - Be that as it may, it's good of him to care enough to warn her about that.
Don't waste your time.
I have chosen to simply let it be, and if things work in my favor then sweet. If not of course it will suck, but hey! at least I tried. I'd rather be friends than nothing. lso exucse me, I'm not obsessed and I took that really offensively considering you have NO idea who I am. This guy and myself are really good friends, have been for a while, I simply wanted help on an idea I had, so I put it on this. No reason to call me obsessed because I wanted some outside opinions...?
Thank you to everyone by the way! I respect all opinons, even the really rude one...
Quite honestly, If he was interested he would pursue you. A real man pursues those he is interested in. If you continues to ask him out, he will realize that he can keep you hanging on a string forever.
If you move on and live your life, maybe someday he will ask you out and maybe you'll still be up for it. But he may also miss his chance with you if he doesn't act. Thats just how it is though.I am a strong believer that guys need to step up and be men. We need to pursue the women we desire and if we don't, well I expect them to move on without me.move on