Thursday, 15 April 2010
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Would You Date a Gamer?
Gaming is a serious passion to some people. To some it's more than just a hobby: it's a lifestyle.
I too am one of those people.
My recent girlfriend of late, Cherry, knew full-well that I was a serious gamer and serious about my futures in it, with a plan to eventually work with Bungie and help them take over the world. What she didn't know, it seems, is that gaming takes me away from society for several hours a day, and when you need at least three hours of sleep, it's tough to balance school, work, relationships, and games.
Do not get me wrong, however: I can safely say that I care for Cherry and would be with her if it meant putting all of my video games in a closet and locking the closet shut. What concerns me is that sometimes I feel as if I'm neglecting her, since it's a half hour drive one-way to her house, and it's 30 feet or so to my console. What's even worse is sometimes I wonder if she feels that I'm neglecting her too. We have talked about it, and she claims it's not a big deal, but sometimes I wonder...
So, Datingish viewers: Have you ever dated a gamer before? Did the obsession with the game cause a rift in the relationship, or did it even matter?
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About the Author
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- From: xXGuitaristxDaisukeXx@xanga
- Name: Andrew
- About Me: Just a simple Jew trying to find my place in the world. I enjoy discussing relationships, music, and gaming. I also believe that the art of courtship and being a gentleman are two things a man must never be uninformed about. Whether it's through words, bad jokes, or awkward facial expressions, my voice will be heard. Huzzah!
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Comments (127)
one of my ex was addicted to game.But that was kind ok for me because he did at least,message and ring me when he was free.But he cheated one me after that.FML haha
My ex-boyfriend and I were both into gaming so it wasn't that big of a deal in the beginning. If anything it made us closer cuz we could play together.
As time went on, I made the mistake of buying him an XBox around when the price for them began to go down and Halo was huge (wanting to work for Bungie, you know the power Halo has over people). Eventually, he would not let me play with him because he wanted to keep going in the game, and I would just sit there and watch. If I spoke, he would ignore me, or not hear me, or interrupt me with curses because he just got shot/killed. Eventually, it got to the point where he would stop walking with me to the train which was a 20 min walk in a dangerous neighborhood because he wanted to keep playing.
You honestly say you would give up video gaming for her but then you sday its 30 minutes driving to her and 30 feet to your console. You aren't going to give up games for her if that is your logic. If you really care about her like you say you do, you need to understand that video games, to be passionate about them, don't need to take up 90% of your time. Do not put the games ahead of her thinking that she will always be around, because that's not true. The game is an object that will wait there and not go away if ignored. People don't work that way. Don't let your relationship suffer because of fictional, 3d figures.
Anyone that would rot their life playing video games.....
I did, and it was definitely a problem. But because the gaming was a manifestation of the fact he didn't really care about me, not itself a problem.
well an addiction is an addiction. sounds like you know the truth.
Fuck hard cores gamers. They love their games to much to care about another person, they shouldn't even be in a relationship.
@LoneDarkness@xanga - I wish I could empathize this. It sounds horrible.
My boyfriend is a gamer.. And in fact, we met through World of Warcraft. Weird, eh? But anyway, we both quit playing and for awhile, neither of us played any games because of school.
But over Christmas break, he got an xbox. He started playing it fairly often and would ignore me. I didn't really mind because I've played games before and I get into the gaming "zone."
But anyway, it's not really a problem for us because whenever I start feeling ignored, I'll simply tell him, "Hey, pay attention to me now" or "Hey, let's spend some time together." He's more than willing to get off his game and spend some time with me when I need to.
It only matters if the guy/girl puts his/her games as a higher priority than his/her significant other.
My boyfriend games a lot, but I can tell I'm priority over his video games.
@Gentleman_Of_Versailles@xanga - That's not true. People are able to balance their love for video games and their love for another person. They're not mutually exclusive.
I'm married to one.
@asininity - Not all of them, but most of them can't do that.
I would date a gamer. If I had more money I would be a hardcore gamer. Speaking of the devil I'm going to play assassin's creed 2 = D
i could date someone who played video games, but i couldn't date someone who was addicted to video games.
my boyfriend is a self-proclaimed nerd, so gaming is part of the deal.
we only get to see each other two, maybe three days out of the week, so usually we just spend that time together and he games on his own time.
we have had problems though were i'll be visiting and he'll be gaming for three hours and im like uh hey, what about me? but as long as i speak up, he'll usually put the game down.
I'm dating and live with two of them. One of which worked at a Gamestop, which he became manager of his store prior to quitting. It isn't a problem for us, because I play games as well. I understand that gaming is their hobby, much like sewing or gaming is mine. They let their gaming consume them for two hours, two nights a week. I know those nights, we cannot make plans, and I respect that. Do they game other than those two hours? Sure, but if I need them, or I want to do something, they just turn off the game, and we go on our merry way. They're hardcore gamers, but they both remember what's really important to them.
are ya kidding? i date ONLY gamers. seems like every guy is into either games or sports or both. and i HATE sports!
What most people have already said - it's alright if they're a gamer, just know your priorities and limits. I <3 a gamer. :3
I dated a gamer and it was okay. We always had something to do together and it is much better than a girl just simply looking on
lol. When my boyfriend and I first started going out and talking on AIM, he would take at least 15 minutes to respond back because he was always busy in a game. -__- Well, he's cut down on computer games but he still loves to play Xbox. I don't mind, I wish I could play too. But I SUCK at games. But I still take priority over his games. ^_^
Honestly? I think you need to find a way to limit yourself so that you CAN spend time with your gf.
My husband is/was an OBSESSIVE gamer honestly. And I was a girl gamer. We compromised. I came UP a little, he came DOWN a lot. (which trust me, still takes up several hours of his week) we also started finding games that we could play TOGETHER (we love the lego video games, and games like Marvel Ultimate Alliance) and other two player games. We also do stupid things like we both have a pet society (a flash game) and we both help one another to care for our pets, design homes, etc... we talk while we do it.
I obviously don't mind it so much, but here's the thing. My husband is the kind of guy that "IF" i tell him, "I want you to stop this," he does in five minutes or less. Honestly? It's respectful. If the person is telling you that they want YOU and not to watch you play games, you really need to give them the occasion. The whole, "Wait twenty minutes" or "not yet," doesn't fly. (Think about that example for your future children too, oh Lord, you will NOT like that answer, so you shouldn't ask your gf/wife/partner to do the same) It shows the PERSON that your games are more important than them and their feelings, which is doomed to fail all of your relationships, unless you happen to hook up with someone who is faithful, and likes to game 24/7 as well, (good LUCK with THAT one :P)
I dated a guy for 3 1/2 years who was a serious gamer.. and I have to admit, it got very old. There were numerous times when he would call me and say "Baby, I'm playing online with the guys tonight.. I'll see you tomorrow." I am not by any means a conceited person, but any man who would choose video games over me, is cleary either blind or stupid. So no, I would not date another gamer.
Dated a gamer and it was fine.
I'm not much of the gaming type. It just bores me. And not meaning to brag but I'm actually really good at most of them.... it's just not my thing. I mean, I'll play silly things like mario kart and SSB just to have fun but nothing serious.Yes. I'm dating one now. And we're are both insane gamers, particularly for stuff like Halo 3, ME, etc etc. But we also live like, 3 hours away, so during the week, it's okay if we play games all day long. We spend all day together on the weekends. He's already graduated with a Master's in Physics and I'm about to graduate with a Bachelor's in Math.
So, really, if you find a girlfriend that's even half as much obsessed with games- or anything else for that matter - then everything should turn out to be a-ok.
Unless we all get nuked. Then it wouldn't be okay. Just sayin'.
my first ex was a gamer. he constantly left me for WoW and i was tired of it. he said we weren't communicating enough and when i tried to talk to him, he was always too busy playing games or saying it was a bad time. but he just didn't understand that i'm a gamer too. he didn't give me a chance to share that passion.
my recent ex is a mild gamer.. we'd play games together so it was fine.
I guess for me it helps that I'm a gamer as well.
I don't play as much as my hubby, but I play.
I always knew he played the games he did when we where friends, dating, & now that we are married he still does. Thing is we worked on things where he can talk to me while playing we can carry on a convo while he is playing just fine.
When I'm awake he only plays games I like to watch or listen to.
& we play together (we are playing borderlands right now!)
I think you just need to find a girl that is a gamer