I'm the only single girl I know. Anyone that I even kind of consider a friend or an acquaintance, has a boyfriend. Most of them are engaged. They don't like hanging out with me because of the fact that I'm single. Saying this, most of them aren't my friends anymore because they're always just "too busy" to hang out, when they have plenty of time to hang out with those that aren't single.
Basically, I don't have any friends anymore. I finally got sick of hearing 'Oh sorry, I can't because I have to (insert crappy excuse here). My so called now ex best friend decided that she just couldn't go a couple of hours without her precious boyfriend, and would bring him along, making me the third wheel. God forbid I try hanging out with a guy friend. They either get the wrong idea and refuse, or else they try to hook up with me.
Most days & nights, I'm sitting at home with my dog, either on Facebook or one of the three dating sites I have a profile on. When I get really bored, I do homework. The only social life I have is the one college class I have once a week. Most of the people in there are either the stuck up girls, or the old guys. One of the guys that likes talking is the 26 year old guy who's covered in tattoos. I like guys with tattoos... just not the guys that have "SOUL" tattooed on their knuckles, and random people's faces up and down their arms. That guy is never going to get a decent job, or I could talk to the supposed stand up comedian that really isn't that funny and has a voice that sounds like he never hit puberty.
I've tried to talk to guys. I have. Either all they want is sex, or I get the just friends talk. You know, "You're a great girl. You're cool & funny. I just don't want a relationship right now. I think it's best we stay friends." Then they go on to date some girl with big boobs & will sleep with anything that has a penis. Online dating isn't working either. Even there I get the old guys, the unwanted weird guys, or the really ugly ones that no one else wants. Sorry, but in order for me to even want to talk to you, you have to be at least semi-attractive, and have to have something interesting on your profile that catches my eye. Maybe it seems shallow that a guy has to be attractive to me for me to want to talk to him, but I can't date somebody that isn't attractive. I want somebody I like looking at.
I turned down 2 dates for this weekend. The first guy is 24 and a physical therapist at a nursing home. The texts alone made me want to cancel. I haven't even met him in person yet, and already he was telling me how happy I made him & how he doesn't want to lose me. Friday night he called, and told me how he couldn't wait to meet me and that I seem like an amazing girl that he would love to date.
To me he sounded older than 24. He told me all about his last relationship that lasted four months and ended over a year ago. Then he started crying and told me how he left his job and went to another because he "just couldn't stand seeing her every day." I didn't have to ask why she dumped him. After we got off the phone, I texted him an excuse as to why I couldn't go. It was a lame excuse, I admit it. I wasn't worried though because I knew he'd believe me. I figured it was better to tell a small lie than to torture myself for 2 hours. The second guy I canceled on bored me to death on the phone. All he did was talk about the fishing trip he went on and complained about getting a sunburn.
My life right now is so lame that I got excited to go to Walmart yesterday.
So what's a girl to do when she doesn't have any real friends, lives in a small town and can't find a decent guy?
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I feel you. Take a trip to a nice place.
Damn, you have some shitty friends. I hate when people can't spend time without their SO. I understand that you want to spend time with them, but is it necessary to spend every hour of every day with them?
The way you describe it -- makes it sound like you need to work on your own life before finding a guy.
Don't have any real friends and spend all day with your dog and on internet dating sites? Yea... You're doing those two guys a favour by turning them down so that you -- yourself -- don't burden them with your undeveloped life.
I mean that earnestly. Don't think any decent guy will stick around if you aren't decent yourself.
Pick up and move. Go somewhere that has enough to do that you won't get bored. Find a town that has a different nightclub every weekend of the year. Move to Europe, learn the language of the area you choose, make a life for yourself in a foreign land. Go DO something.
Getting the "friends" talk from a guy shouldn't be a bad thing, and just because they go of and sleep with someone else doesn't mean you have to stop being friends with them. Start looking inside yourself for the reasons why nobody wants to date you or be your friend.
Why feel the need and rush to be in a relationship?
You don't have much of a social life yourself, as you stated, and you seem bored with your life and by trying to find a boyfriend to fill that void won't help solve the problem because you'll be in a relationship for all the wrong reasons.
My best suggestions: Find better friends. Socialize. Interact. Stop being picky.
idk.. i think the only reason why it's bugging you is because you'e letting it bug you. don't think much of it?
or find new friends.
You seem to be pushing the blame on everyone else, when what you need to do is evaulate yourself. Are you being the best person you can be?
Most of my friends are hooked up with someone else - I'm single - and it almost doesn't change anything between us. I'm sorry to say the reason why they avoid you/make excuses up, isn't because you are single - it's just you.
Live life girl! Don't rush things, sometimes, what you really want and need comes in the most unexpected time. =) I'm 20, single and loving it!
If you get in a relationship now, it will be all too easy to get too attached to that relationship because you have nothing else going on. Trust me, I know... When I didn't have much going on and I DID get into a relationship, I got way too attached and drove the guy away in a few months. Even now, I try not to spend ALL time with my SO anymore because I realize I start getting boring if I don't have other things going on. Try a site like meetup.com (I think that's what it's called), which has group events where you can get to know people - both men and women. You would get to know people on a non-threatening basis. Get involved in groups that do activities you like. I know if you take up outdoor activities and you live near a city, there are usually arranged activities that way. Then if you DO meet a single guy, you know HE'LL have a life, and be interested in something you're interested in. Good luck, I know it's frustrating sometimes :)
it's not them, it's you. seems to me that you have this ideal bf that doesn't even exist, every guy that attempts to chase you, you're picking out every little bit of bad thing about them and then giving yourself an excuse that they're not good enough to be with you. no one is ever going to be perfect, they'll have flaws, just like how you have flaws. when you do find someone you love, you wouldn't care about the flaws they have. and since you're picking out every flaw you see in guys, maybe you're just not ready for a relationship. therefore, it's recommended that you best take up another hobby or two, learn to cook, guys love a girl who can cook. and when you're able to support your own, you could move out.
okay, the most attractive thing a girl can be is busy.
some people would argue that the most attractive thing a girl can be is happy or confident, but in my own experience...the most attractive thing a girl can be is BUSY. And I will tell you why...
1. It conveys independence. (i.e.- NOT needy)
2. It shows that a chick has her own life.
3. It suggests that other people want to be around you, or even, yes, NEED you. So obviously, you must be fun, talented, etc.
4. It makes man have to chase you!
5. It proves you aren't lazy or boring.
6. And this is important...IT GIVES YOU THINGS TO TALK ABOUT/RELATE TO OTHERS ABOUT.
7, It gives you opportunities to meet people!!
How many guys are you going to meet in your house with your dog? And even if you do meet someone what are you possibly going to have to tell them when they ask about your life?
A really easy place to start is...GET A JOB. You will meet people, you will stay busy, and best yet...you make money for it. :)
well,i was single for months before i have my current bf.
Surprisingly,all my close friends were single that time so i dont really give a damn on bf thingy.
it was real fun to hang out with my girls since we all are single.
btw,hmm,it just weird.even i had bf now,.i will balance my time between bf and friends.
iw ill go out with bf and friends at different time.of course i do enjoy every single moments with all of them.
the best way?
just spend time with family:)
they rock:)
Get Your freak on
YES!! that always happen, im like semi counseling a friend i have because she broke up her boyfriend, in which her life surrounded when they were still together and she ended up ditching her best friends now they all don't like her. Couples should find balance.
i know whats its like though, but i have two friends that like to have me as the third wheel, but im used to it.
But seriously find some single people, make friends with everyone and anyone and test the waters with your new friends. you'll realize how much fun you could be having.
ur twenty and ur friends are all engaged? friends your age? you sound like a nice girl. online dating is pretty risky. just take your time. c'mon youre twenty years old too young to worry about finding a mate=) and please don't lower your standards. and yes i agree with a comment here. "spend time with family!"
Be confident in yourself. Forget the so-called "friends," and understand that relationships before you're ready aren't worth it (and if you are ready, they'll come naturally).
become a goothick and write turdy poetry all the time
Get a job. Get involved. Remember you are twenty years old (i.e. you have at least twenty more years before you need to resign to being a cat lady) and keep an open heart with your friends, with the guys at school, with the "snobby girls" with the blind dates. With everyone. You just sound extremely negative, not even realistic, just negative. Be positive. You have a million great things in store for you if you are willing to just enjoy what you have and go get what you don't have.
And be careful. You are twenty, why are you meeting all of these guys online, that can be super dangerous.
Find new friends, period. The people you hang around with..the way they sound...is what I would classically catergorize as "Bitches".
LIke some of the others said (without trying to sound so harsh) you gotta get yourself situated and happy. You could defend all you want but as of this very moment, your not showing much love for yourself. Gotta get yourself to a point where you are happy with yourself, your life, and want to make it better BY getting an SO.
And if the whole small town thing bothers you so much, time to move to a new setting. I know its hard times and money is hard, but you may need an all out change altogether (I know some peoeple are who planning to do it, but are a little scared of it).
what everyone said.
Stop complaining about how other people are letting you down. Be more independent.
Why rush being in a relationship. Focus more on college -sign up for more classes since you seem like you have so much free time on your hands. Get involved at your college to meet new people.
Build up your life, get out there. Go to work, study, travel... whatever. Get and keep busy.
Also, you can pick and choose who you date, but don't be SO picky. What if someone was really into you and you never gave them a shot? You might end up regretting your choice.
Don't be so negative. There's so many great things, and you've got a life to live. So live it.
I'm currently in a somewhat similar situation, at least in terms of relationships. For me, I've found that by simply going out, and doing things, I find myself far happier than I do when I stay at home. While I personally would love a girlfriend, and eventually a wife and family, I'm only 25, and honestly, why would I want to rush things? You should certainly approach your life with the same attitude.
An attractive person is one who balances confidence with activities. No one wants to be with someone who spends all their time on the internet, or dating sites. Try looking on sites like OkCupid for friends, and people with similar interests. Then, get out and do things. Hit the mall and do some window shopping. Go to the library and start picking out books.
Above all else, get out of the house far more often. If you stay active, people will find you to be someone worth being around. And as another commenter suggested, it helps give you things to discuss with others.
I was lucky to make some new friends off of Facebook and OkCupid; and might be attending a Mozart production at a local church this Saturday. I'm also working on attending more museums and art galleries. I adore such things, and it's a shame I've wasted so many opportunities to visit them by staying online so much. Don't end your days with the same regrets.