This is recycled journal entry of mine from last summer and mostly applies to guys already in a relationship. Of course, these are just generalizations but they are true for me and, I assume, a good portion of the female population.
1. Saying "i love you" or doing other cutesy things don't count if they're only done when you're in trouble. In fact, they will be completely ignored.
2. We can't promise that we won't get mad when you tell the truth, but we WILL be even madder if you lie.
3. Women like frequent small shows of affection. Gross PDA is not encouraged, but things like a quick hug from behind or running your hand across our shoulders as you walk by is adorable.
4. We can tell when you call b/c you feel like you have to and not b/c you want to.
5. Contrary to popular belief, most women won't try to blackmail you with sex, but if we're unhappy with you, we won't be "in the mood". If you want some action, you need to make us happy.
6. We look at how you treat your mother, how you treat your "inferiors", and how you act around children when evaluating you as a potential life-mate.
7. Even nice girls like suggestive things whispered to them in public.
8. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something you wouldn't want us catching you doing.
9. We don't always talk about our problems b/c we expect you to fix them. Sometimes we just want a sympathetic ear.
10. Most women keep everything from past bfs (love letters, cards, stuffed animals, etc). They're mementos, not proof that we haven't moved on.
11. No quality woman will expect you to blow hundreds of dollars on her for pricey dates and expensive gifts.
12. But surprises and the occasional outing will earn you brownie points.
13. If a girl gives you something cheesy and home-made, it means she really likes you.
14. We ask questions we already know the answers to. It's not to trap you; it's to give you a chance to come clean.
16. We will judge you if you spend more time on your appearance than we do.
17. Don't shave your chest.
18. Acknowledge it when we leave you cute surprises or messages, or you won't get them anymore.
19. Foreplay is very important.
20. Even if we respect and love them, we don't want to be compared to our mothers.
21. We're less likely to bite your head off when we're pms-ing if you are patient with our mood swings. Even better if you give us chocolate. Just NEVER EVER say, "It must be that time of the month..."
22. You don't have to become bffs, but you have to try to get along with our friends. It really is the effort that counts.
23. When a woman apologizes to avoid a fight, "i'm sorry" actually means, "i'm sorry you're stupid and disagree."
24. We know men are usually oblivious to subtlety, but, for some reason, we'll still try.
25. Sorry to pop the myth, but women have bodily functions too.
26. Once you've fallen in a toilet, you'll understand why we ask you to put the seat down.
27. (And it's ok if you have bad aim. Just clean it up.)
28. We like to know what you're thinking. The mysterious brooding type may be sexy at first, but it gets old fast.
29. Playfulness turns us on. Women like to tease and be teased.
30. We aren't as obsessed with your size as you probably are.
31. We become insecure if you never bring us around your friends or your parents.
32. Most women can take care of themselves, but it's cute when you're A LITTLE protective of us. Small things like calling to make sure we made it home safely go a long way. (That's also why we have you get rid of bugs -- that small demonstration of taking care of us.)
33. Once you tell us to do something, we won't do it even if we were going to before you ordered. So make your own damn sandwich. And if you want to get back on your girl's good side, make her one while you're at it.
34. A woman is not a vagina with legs.
35. Women are more susceptible to UTIs, so WASH YOUR HANDS.
36. We find you sexy when you're driving, fixing things, working out, singing, playing an instrument, and playing with children.
37. When watching a movie together, cuddling is a must.
38. We want to be the most important thing in your life. Or at least ahead of gaming, pokemon, and your favorite band.
39. Don't talk about the porn you watch.
40. If you love us, tell us. Don't assume that we know.
Am I forgetting anything, ladies?
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Comments (202)
There were a few I disagreeed with, but overall I really liked this list.
Only one that I disagreed with - the shaving of the chest. I don't care if you're not baby-smooth but I don't want to hug a gorilla.
Pretty good list
Wow. I feel like you basically looked into my head and wrote a list about how I feel about all of this. The only thing I don't agree with is the porn. I don't want my fiance looking at it at all. But I know I am in the minority as most girls think this is an unrealistic expectation. But other than that--this is THE list.
Only other ones I can think of--
You can have friends that are girls. But I am going to get jealous the minute you act like she is a better friend than I am or just talk about her too much in general.
"31. We become insecure if you never bring us around your friends or your parents."
That one sort of hits home. He isn't my boyfriend or anything but he refuses to tell his friends or parents about us even though we've been at it for over a year. And then he wonders why I get nervous when he goes to the movies with a girl or something.
Haha, wow, this list is perfect, except for 17, but other than that, perfect! Oh and 39, porn = booo.
@NymphaeHecati@xanga - Haha yeah same here.
Okay, many of these are redundant (I mean like what's a woman, anyway, but a soaked, fleshy-sponge of Estrogen with lips & hair???) . . . And several are sort of "seasonal" . . . Meaning "monthly" . . . So to speak. As far as shaving my chest goes; I wouldn't shave my chest for Heart Surgery. She can go pound salt on that one. As far as number 34 goes . . . Why? What is a woman for, anyway? . . . ACUPUNCTURE?? . . .
,
LOVE IT.
#41. Its in a woman to be insecure, unreasonable and hard to handle at times. But if you cant handle us at our worst then you dont deserve us at our best.
Those all are VERY good :)
@MangoWOW@xanga - Yikes. This dude sounds like a douche. He's not willing to commit to you and parade you around to his friends and family after a year? Ugh. Get out of that!
You want a guy to do that, don't you? Don't settle for some guy who won't. You deserve more than that!
"10. Most women keep everything from past bfs (love letters, cards, stuffed animals, etc). They're mementos, not proof that we haven't moved on."
Haha I like this one.
"28. We like to know what you're thinking. The mysterious brooding type may be sexy at first, but it gets old fast."
Ouch. This can bug guys a lot and often you DON'T want to know what we are thinking about.
@lovemasquerade@xanga -
"#41. Its in a woman to be insecure, unreasonable and hard to handle at times. But if you cant handle us at our worst then you dont deserve us at our best. "
You can't be really using the excuse of being a woman to place those unnecessary burdens on a man; a woman is not a child.
Where's number 15?
Pretty useful stuff. I understand #10 to a point but don't ask me to ever propose if you don't get rid of your things from your previous relationships. I am not going to be entering a marriage with a woman who still has things that reminds her of another man.
Oh, and not all of us men are oblivious to your subtleties.
guys who have to wonder if it's that time of the month are shitty boyfriends anyway. my girlfriend is on a schedule of about 3 weeks and 2 and one third days, yeah, but i can think of about 3 or 4 weeks since last time and guess when she'll be PMSing again. it's not something guys are FORBIDDEN to talk about or think about. i talk about it with my girlfriend a lot. the only thing i just can't see is a bloody tampon. i can see a dead body or gratuitous gore but that is the only thing that truly makes me want to puke. hah! other than that, it's all cool.
in short, be in tune with your girl's body. a good boyfriend will never be caught off guard when it's exactly one week before aunt flo's visit.
these are GREAT. you read minds well. :)
You mentioned things I wouldnt have thought of! Awesome list!
My boyfriend shaves his chest and man am I glad he does.... he's like a chia pet.
"We don't always talk about our problems b/c we expect you to fix them. Sometimes we just want a sympathetic ear."
I have been trying to get my husband to understand this one for a while now. He is learning. :D
@xXDC_luyouXx - I'm pretty sure the "Its in a woman to be insecure, unreasonable
and hard to handle at times. But if you cant handle us at our worst then
you dont deserve us at our best" is a quote from Marilyn Monroe... if that explains anything at all haha.
But generally, I do like the OP's list. I agree with almost all of it and some of the things I've never even really thought of before. :) thanks
I guess I can respect most of this list. Not so big on the guys though.
some of these i really disagree with...
# 1,2, 4: guys wouldn't feel that way if SOME women didn't trap them into it. if you don't want the guy to feel like he HAS to call, don't insist that he call you "just because." i actually DID promise my SO that i would never get mad if he told the truth, because i distinguish between anger and disappointment. he knows he can come to me with anything and i'll hear him out before screaming at him. and frankly, the notion that women label men as being "in trouble" makes it sound like they're grounded. if you don't want to be compared to ANY mother, let alone your own, stop acting like you're his mom.
# 17: i do prefer a smooth chest.
#18: you should do those things without expectation of reward, otherwise you're just being selfish.
# 39: i enjoy porn with my SO. not only would i want to hear about it, i'd watch it with him.
hmm,
Little kisses on the forehead and cheek make us feel extra special.
"2. We can't promise that we won't get mad when you tell the truth, but
we WILL be even madder if you lie."
Only if you find out. And that's the point of lying. We know you'll get mad at the truth, so lying just makes things easier (unless you get caught of course, then it makes things that much harder).
Also, combine #8 with #10, and you'll see what I'm going to say is wrong with this. Besides, wouldn't you have a problem if you found us hoarding stuff from past SOs?
"14. We ask questions we already know the answers to. It's not to trap
you; it's to give you a chance to come clean."
Then why get mad when he comes clean?
"23. When a woman apologizes to avoid a fight, 'i'm sorry' actually
means, 'i'm sorry you're stupid and disagree.'"
That's fine. We do the same thing.
"26. Once you've fallen in a toilet, you'll understand why we ask you to
put the seat down."
This is a stupid thing to get mad about. Just put the fucking seat down yourself instead of picking a fight. It's not like it weighs 100 pounds or something. You're a big girl.
Just thought you'd might mike a guy's perspective of some of the things on this list. God, women have too many rules...
number 1 is the best.