Wednesday, 14 April 2010
-
I Like You, But I'm Not Sure What Your Sexual Orientation Is
I'm straight and the guy I used to like is too. I remember talking to that crush on AIM. It was pretty obvious that we liked each other. Online flirting, phone calls, and cutesy things. Ya know, that whole bit.
Well, it got to a point where he was dropping major hints about asking me out. And it seemed as though he had to make sure all the prerequisites were squared away first. And I guess that checklist included finding the answer to this a variation of this question:
"Do you like girls?" / "Are you into girls?"
Okay, that seemed kinda weird at first (seeing as though I am a girl, and that I'm heterosexual), but I didn't take it personally. He said he was kinda paranoid about people's sexuality, and before he pursued me, he would at least like to know if he had a real chance.
I thought it was sorta strange, because we had been flirting for a while. I didn't know how to take it, so I just brushed it off as him being extra cautious. I even joked around at first and answered his question with an overenthusiastic YES and he got kinda weirded out, haha. His following response was this face >__>
Anyways, would you be offended if a potential SO asked if you were of a different sexual orientation? (For instance, if you are heterosexual, would you be concerned/offended/confused why someone you're flirting with might think you were homosexual?)
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: sweeetstache@xanga
- Name: Lan
- Location: Orange County, California, United States
-
True
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 7 Views: 0 16584 Comments: 0 488 View all posts by sweeetstache@xanga
Comments (53)
hmmm yeah. i think i would be put off.
Not really.
no, i wont be offended..
think wteva they want, as long as u know ur not:)
what a weird guy.
No. In this era, where homosexuality is becoming more and more acceptable rather than taboo, it's only natural to wonder ... imagine if you were gay and a guy asked you out; he would be assuming you're straight. That might just annoy some lesbians though most girls wouldn't care, I'm sure ...
The point is, nowadays we can't always just assume. Some people are brave enough to actually ask, then I think it's a good sign!
I understand the reasoning behind his questions, but I admit I'd be a bit leery if someone were to ask me. It'd be a bit of a personal affront, like, "Have I given you any reason to think otherwise?"
If I asked this question, my thinking at the time would be "I don't want her going to a party and kissing/making out with some random girl because it's fun and because she thinks it's not cheating."
Idk if that's what the guy's issue is, but maybe he was dumped by someone who turned out to be a lesbian? So I can kinda understand his reasons for asking.
it doesn't bother me and i think i'd probably check to see if the guy i was interested in is heterosexual. don't want to be barking at the wrong tree. nowadays, you really can't tell.
definately not. It's always good to be sure. No need to waiste time.
i'd be offended by declarative statements IE "you're gay".
but not by questions or probing statements IE "are you gay?" or "you're awesome... but gay guys are always like that"reason why i'm okay with it is cause i have asked out several "lipstick lesbians" (not knowing they were) and they got really angry... and being on the receiving end isn't- comfortable... so i'm fine
Why that face? Isn't he just happy with the idea that she likes him at the moment?
but I probably would be a little curious as to what made him ask.
I wish I had the power to make gay guys become straight =(
Well some guys ask me if I am into girls...and I am as well. But it's nothing purely sexual and most people think it is only sexual so when guys ask me that they only want it for sexual purposes which DOES piss me off.
No one has ever asked me if I was straight lesbian though from just talking to me.
This person isn't being weird, they're being realistic. If you know very many gay people you know the old stereotypes aren't true. you can't tell by looking at someone, you can only tell by asking.
I think it's perfectly normal because he's probably been crushed by other girls due to a lack of what we like to call a "gay-dar". Even if you think your gay-dar is fine tuned, sometimes you can be tricked. Men usually have some sort of characteristics of femininity that allude to you assuming they're gay. I can relate to this, I have a crush on a boy from class who others say is gay and I'm too afraid to flirt with him because I don't want him to be offended. But, he's not so fem as for me to think he's a definite, which is why I have such a big crush on him. Anyhow, it's way harder to tell with girls and him being cautious so you don't hurt his feelings is normal. Also, in reality girls are usually much more flirty in general in our behavior towards men, even if they're a really close friend. The normal friendship dynamic between men and women can be tricky, so him being insecure isn't something you should worry about. He was probably thinking he was being polite. And when you asked him the same question in return, he more than likely got even more insecure because he started worrying he was somewhat feminine and you couldn't possibly have any other reason to justify asking him the same question! Oh men... what are we to do with their ways of logic? Just take it with a grain of salt.
@OngishLyOngLee@xanga - I could not agree more. One of my ex's actually ended up being gay and you would have never known, and I definitely had no idea that he might of been in between thinking he was attracted to women and thinking he might be gay because when we were together he was all over me. So now adays you never know lol
It wouldn't bother me, but I'm a girl who's been with girls, so ...
I can see why he'd ask. Whenever a guy hits on me, I assume he's straight, but you never know. I would want to know if the guy I'm dating is bi or straight.
Maybe he hit on a lesbian before, or a bisexual and had a bad experience?
I guess asking is better than automatically judging and assuming.
I developed feelings for a long-time friend and finally got up the courage to tell her, and she told me she was an in-the-closet lesbian. Totally blindsided me. While I wouldn't personally ask the question your guy asked, I can understand where he's coming from. It's intense to share your feelings when you aren't sure they'll be reciprocated. For me, though, asking that question implies too much of a presumption that he thinks you are. I'd put my heart on the line again. As much as it hurt, the potential is amazing.
I wouldn't be offended, but I'd wonder why it would even be a question. I'd think a girl flirting with a guy should be message enough... but then a bi girl would do that too... It's an honest question, which I suppose should be asked if it isn't blatantly obvious.
hmmm that's an interesting question ; my roommate was actually in this situation a few days ago when someone she was talking to asked her that same question &+ i was like wow really but i mean i guess in today's society you never know so he might as well just get out and ask it ... better to know now then later on in life.
i'm bi....bi CURIOUS..hmm got a problem? hm..
I agree with the chick above, he probably wanted to persue some girls in the past, but they turned out to be only into girls. i wouldn't worry. did things work out?! :D Hope all is well.
Unfortunately since I'm such a chill person who isn't into that whole "playing games" thing most girls do, people think I must be a lesbian. It really bugged me at first, not that I have anything against lesbians, but being accused of something you're not is just off-putting in general. I guess I can't blame people though. I'm not much of a girly girl. But at the same time why is it so hard to believe that a straight girl can just be... real? Oh, and then there's one guy I liked who (after finding out we had something weird in common) told me "You're like a guy!" so that was fun too...
oi, personally, i won't even do that, if i like someone, i just go for it, i don't ask, i just go for it. if she turns out to be something out of the ordinary, i turn around, and get the hell out that door, else, i take off my shoe and i just continue to go for it.