Tuesday, 13 April 2010
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How To Get Through A Break-Up
Don't waste your time sniffing roses.
Put that down and have some fun.So I'm sure at least 99% of you have experienced that terrifying, painful, tearful, I'd-rather-be-dead type of heartbreak. I want to talk about that kind of heartbreak, and tell you all how I think you can get over your guy. Uhm .. ex-guy. Oops.
First of all, allow me to say I've been in your shoes. More than once. With the same guy. And that was because every time he dumped me, I'd cry for days, stalk him at his house, text or call him 24/7, and beg for him to come back to me. Then we'd get back together and neither of us would be ready, and things would suddenly be different. In a bad way.Although I probably should have cut his dick off, I was too desperate and forgiving. That asshole put me through heartbreak so many times, and yet I still find myself totally in love with him.
Well, this break-up wasn't even caused by a fight. I'd been massively depressed for the past couple of days, and he didn't do anything about it. He comforted me probably twice, and both times I had to be hysterically crying on his shoulder. He was careless. Either way, he decided to randomly tell me one morning that he just didn't know if we were working out. I cried and grew really pissed for about a half hour, but eventually I calmed down and did the next thing on my list -- drive to his house.
After much talking and arguing, we still didn't get back together. It was terrible and painful, but I knew I'd have to deal with it this time. I'm an adult and I'm going to act like one (that means no more stalking).
Well, after I cried for only a half hour on the first morning of our break-up, I haven't cried since. I've been fine. And although I miss him, I somehow think he's going to come crawling with his tail inbetween his legs. And if he doesn't, fuck it, I'm moving on.
Anyway, this is some of the stuff I've done since our break-up, and you should do it too:
Homework: Believe it or not, if you attend school, getting your essay that's due next week done takes a huge weight off you're shoulders. And it makes ya feel good.
Hang out with your friend: Just one friend, whether you've seen him/her just yesterday or a year ago. Call someone who can be there for you through this difficult time. Grab lunch and take a drive and talk about random stuff. No romance, though. You're not ready for that.
Go to work: A lot of people who go through break-ups tend to take a day or 2 off work. Believe it or not, working can get your mind of it. I work WITH my ex, but going to work got my mind off of him.
Dress up: Straighten your hair, or curl it. Put on some nice make-up, and don't cry otherwise that sexy mascara will run. Dress nice, and feel good about yourself.
Talk to another guy: Well, if you're a girl who likes guys, talk to another guy. Flirt, but never too much. Tell them you'd love to see them later, and then stand them up. Knowing that another guy wants you will really boost up your self-esteem.
Ignore the asshole who dumped you: As hard as it may be, see if he'll try to talk to you first. Leave him guessing what you're doing. If you're going to cave him and text him or call himself, limit yourself to how often and do not talk about getting back together. Keep it casual baby.
Go to a party: This doesn't always work. Sometimes, you're just not ready to be out and partying with a bunch of people. But if you think you can handle, go have a good time with a bunch of your friends. Have a drink or 2.
Take a drive. Alone: That's right. I took a drive to the local beach. I walked the peer and sat by the water by myself. It was gorgeous outside. I closed my eyes and relaxing my mind. It was truly uplifting. And I know that's corny. But it's so true.
Now, don't let me tell you it's going to be a permanent break-up. Because it may not be. I'm not telling you to get over the guy and have sex with 30 other men. Not at all. Just give yourself a little bit of time to breathe. Eventually, you two might even learn to appreciate each other a lot more.
If anything, I hope whatever you may be going through works out. If you've already experienced it, I hope you're okay. If you didn't go through it, try to avoid it, but hopefully this should help you if it does happen.
Just remember girl, you're not alone.
How do you get over a break-up?
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- From: MissHollyAnne@xanga
- Name: Miss Holly Anne
- About Me: I'm Miss "Oh my God, that Holly's shameless!"
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Comments (36)
i just look at what i still got than what i had..
nd i think to my self...how bad it wouldve goten if i wouldve stayed wit him..that always helps me sometimes..
oh nd listening to old disney songs..those make me smile :)
Great post!
Personally:
a) Blog
b) Exercise.
i listen to music, think that's "its his loss", focus on my after-school activities (dance, newspaper/yearbook,etc), vent to friends right after it happens. It just all depends on how bad the break-up is.
Agreed :).
Good stuff. Hahaha. I've done most of those to make myself feel a lot better. In the end, it's his loss. That's just how it is. :)V
the fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone else! works like a charm!
Those may work for some people, but I was so distracted from school that I failed my exams. Talking to a guy that wants you is uplifting, but what happens when he blows you off? And I always got myself the most upset when I was driving alone.
They sound good in theory, but dealing with a break up is different for every person, you have to figure out what works for you. Mine was just surrounding myself with friends, definitely more than one. My guy friends were the most helpful because they told me they loved me and that I could do so much better, and I know they meant it with completely good intentions.
this has been working for me. Its been about a month since the break up. I am making it! However we started hooking up last week but I stopped that too. Its tough for guys too
to be honest I saw the title and thought, "really?" and then I read it and realized I really haven't read anything like this on here so props. Personally I just drink and party but all reasonable things to do! lol
I think it's shitty to flirt with someone, arrange a date/meeting with them, and then stand them up. Regardless of past heartbreak.
Otherwise, I really like this post, and think you did a fantastic job.
How about for us guys who need to get over our ex-girls?
Oh wait, nope, we don't. We're always the ones doing the heartbreaking. Okay then.
The advice is sound but I couldn't get past the intro where you come across as a teenager with "another heartbreak." =/
Best way to get over it: don't try to get over it. It'll happen on its own. Just let your life go on.
I blog a lot when I'm getting over a breakup. Getting all those feelings out helps.
just get wasted
Writing poetry, mostly. Flirting with other guys, too. That always helps.
I'll probably be needing this soon. Thanks <3
I wrote songs and poetry. And I like taking long walks outside around my neighborhood with my iPod on. It helps clear my head.
I liked all of this post alot except the part where you said "flirt with another guy and stand him up." That's kind of assholish. But still I love what you wrote.
You shouldn't "stand someone up". That's such a rude thing to do. Go out with him, yes, flirt with him like crazy,
I don't think flirting with another guy and then standing them up is a good idea... it's really selfish and rude. Other than that, I like this post. I definitely needed some advice like this when I broke up with my first serious boyfriend.
I think the worse thing to do is to try getting with someone else or standing them up. Standing them up is rude and inconsiderate. As far as trying to get with someone else, you just compare them to your ex and get upset so it's better to just not flirt a lot. I think the best thing I ever did when my ex and I broke up was go off to college. Obviously that's not a huge option for everyone just all the time. A good alternative though would be to go out and meet new people and try new things.
Work out. The endorphins will help you forget about your ex for some time and will also just make you feel better in general.
I don't like the advice that basically breaks down to, "Find a guy, get his hopes up, then shoot him down." A girl did this to me recently. I went on a date with her, she told me she'd really like to go on another one, but then it started getting tougher and tougher to get in touch with her. It hurts, and I don't get why you'd offer this advice. You're really going to hurt an innocent guy just because you got out of a breakup recently? How would you feel if I found out who you were and did this to you? Just because you feel bad doesn't give you the right to hurt others.
Most of this is good advice though.
@unabridgedtales@xanga - agree.
And I do think this is a brilliant post. : )
:)
Talk to another guy: Well, if you're a girl who likes guys, talk to another guy. Flirt, but never too much. Tell them you'd love to see them later, and then stand them up. Knowing that another guy wants you will really boost up your self-esteem.
i hope that's a joke, because that's a really shitty thing to do.