Monday, 12 April 2010
My best friend Amanda* has been on and off with this major jerk Justin* for about 5 months now. She is constantly breaking up with him because he treats her like crap but then she just goes right back to him because she is "so in love with him" when really she is just afraid to be alone. She is 20 years old and she fails to see that she has her whole life ahead of her to be with someone. But this is beside the point.
Justin is an emotional abuser. He pulls her away from her friends, telling her that they are b*tches and that he doesn't want her hanging out with them because they just talk crap about him. When she does what she wants, he is constantly texting her, giving her crap for hanging out with the girls and accusing her of cheating on him. It gets to the point that she wont hang out with any of her friends because she doesn't want to deal with him freaking out. She is not allowed to talk to any other men. Anytime she does, he freaks out on her. He constantly tells her that she doesn't love him. He convinces her that he doesn't do anything wrong.
When she comes to her senses and realizes that he is too controlling and breaks up with him, he cries, tells her that he loves her and accuses her of never loving him. He calls her obscene names, tells her she is worthless and then begs for her to take him back. While he is doing this, she goes back to her previous ex, leading him on, and then she blows off the ex for Justin. This time that she broke up with him, she signed a promise to herself saying she wouldn't take him back or talk to him and would remain single for a little while. She didn't even keep the promise for more than a day.
Today, when I tried to remind her of one of our alumni who was in a similar situation, (married a guy her friends said was horrid, pulled away from her friends, ended up with a baby, a divorce and a restraining order because he was so emotionally abusive and eventually would stalk her to make sure she wasn't with anyone else) she completely blew off my comments with a "whatever".
My question to you all: How to I get my friend to see that this guy is bad news before it gets too bad? I want her to see how emotionally abusive he really is to her.