Sunday, 11 April 2010
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Question of the Day: Is Being Upfront Such a Bad Thing?
Okay, so I was on the amazing medium of Facebook today, and I got a friend request for someone. We had 21 friends in common, so I thought I'd message him to see if I actually knew him before I accepted - and he said:"Hi, I think you're really good looking and I've heard from friends that you're a nice girl. I'd like you to be my girlfriend one day, fancy it?"
I thought it was a bit creepy, or forward at least. But I dunno, should people be so honest, or is it good to have a bit of tact?
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- From: SophiElizz@xanga
- About Me: I'm a happy-go-lucky, overtly optimistic sort of girl. I've never had my heart broken, I've never been in love and I've never had a crush on Robert Pattinson. Nevertheless, I am rubbish at video games, sports and mechanics. I'd like to see you put me in under a label.
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Comments (48)
I'd add him if he was cute. But I like brutal honesty. *shrug*
You might thank him later, or you might kick yourself later for buying into it.
It's all up to personal preference. Just as some prefer being more upfront while others nudge their way into your lives, girls prefer to take things fast or slow. If you're a "slow" girl, don't bother really with this guy unless you want to take a chance: it's likely that a lot more of your personality traits won't match up either.
- John
Makes me feel as though flirting is like walking a tight rope a mile above the ground. But you can't see the rope. Walk it and get to your destination. Miss a step and fall to your doom. And the exact location and sway of the rope depends more on the hidden thoughts/emotions of the girl (based on how hot the guy is) than anything the guy says or does.
Being honest and being up front are two different things. All he knows about you is based on what he's heard, so he has very little to base on his decision to one day make you his girlfriend. Sounds to me like he's concerned more with looks than anything. If he had said something like "I'd like to get to know you better," I think that would have been more appropriate.
I'm all about honesty. And you now know what his intentions are with you.
Honesty is good. Up front is good too. This kid, however, needs to learn what words can go up front and which need to stay back.
Openly flirting is the only kind you should really do, but from experience, you never ever use any kind of "relationship" word right off the bat. It rarely works and is actually quite dangerous.
lmfaooo. wow.
now thats WAY too upfront!
its good to be upfront in certain situations
and other times, you need to have some common sense
and lay off the creeper approach.
Imagine how quickly he'd move into anything else if you guys got together.
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dont flirt, but i guess.. get to know him first?
Honesty's important, but so is tact. It's a tough call on which one's best for a situation. In some sense, honesty is a good idea, just to make intentions known, but at the same time, being too honest can lead to problems.
yea thats super direct but he may not be as creepy it is the internet he maybe less direct in person
with people like that you gotta set boundaries
okay well he said it a little creep-ily...
also he doesnt really know you so ??
if i knew the person personally and he was blunt with me, thats better imo. i hate beating around the bush..
the fact that he said it online is creepy.
I don't think it's creepy, but it's weird that you get the creepy vibe - you might be picking up on something.
Most guys add girls (that they aren't friends with) because they think they're cute.
I'm skeptical that he said "girlfriend" right away.
errr... i don't know about you, but i find it rather creepy. sure honesty is good, but over the internet? and asking about you through friends? errr.. creepy...
that leads me to this, if a person is going to get to know someone, get to know her through her, not from other people. the only time i think it's okay, is when friends are trying to set up a possible couple.
haha well being upfront sometimes is good but in that situation not so much. He has to have some sort of tactic to winning you over..it really is about the chase and idk...it kinda ruins it. But that is just how i would feel about it personally. Some people may just want to know upfront.
You want him to say, "Hey, bitch. You look kinda sexy in your dress. I'm looking for a chance totear it off and blow it out tonight. Would you like to oblige?" instead? After this, questions should ensue for what inspired him to be so direct. .Then, I'd make the decision.
It's nice to be straightforward, but have some tact as well. A guy just shouldn't go up to a girl at a bar and say, "I want to fuck you." But sadly, there are some who do. He should have at least said, "You look and sound like an interesting girl. I would like to get to know you better. Perhaps coffee some time?"
Honesty is awsome, I'm awkwardly honest. I piss people off sometimes and thats fine with me because I tend to not have the patience for wading through the BS.
With that said, I wouldn't have said that. I'm usually the one that questions, "Why the hell you friend requesting me? Just because you shop at my store doesn't mean I like you!"
Tactic and verbal awareness is important in being honest - not to mention social reprocutions. Which, being an aspiring novelist, I don't mind the occasional awkward dramatic situation, I find them hot-damn hilarious!
Brutal honesty is the best policy. Period.
i think that's creepy. if he's never met you before, that's weird that he wants you to be his girlfriend already.
thinking your cute and wanting to get to know you better is totally legitimate, he could have easily said "i've heard you were cool from a few different people so i thought i'd add you. if you ever want to get coffee or something, that would be cool. otherwise i might see you around!" or something like that. i don't know why he took the creepy route... its probably not a good sign.
honesty is good depending on the situation but in this case, I don't like it that upfront because the butterflies in my stomach feeling has mostly disappeared since there is no wondering if he likes me or doesn't like me
I prefer if he got to know me then out of the blue, asked if I wanted to be his gf because I like to be surprised
He said girlfriend. I'm sorry, that's weird.