Once upon a long ago, a guy who had been flirting with me..ok, MORE than flirting with me asked me a question..."What if I came knocking on your door....would you let me in, and take a chance on us?"
I thought that was an invitation, into a relationship. A week later I had egg on my face and my heart at my feet, because it HADN'T been an invitation at all, it had been a request for more information. He just wanted to know what I'd do IF.
That is just one of many examples from my own life, where my big hopeful heart thought that something someone said meant more than it did. Here are a few others...
"Would you like me to take you there for your birthday?"
"How would you like to go fishing next week?"
"Are you free this weekend?"
Now, in the heat of the moment those seem to be invitations, but when examined under calmer circumstances, we see that they are not, in fact, invitations. They are requests for information.
It's easy to be fooled. I mean, when someone asks if I'd like them to take me somewhere, I tend to think that they are proposing taking me there, rather than recognizing that all they really wanted to know was if I'd LIKE them to. They never implied they were going to do it.
I've stumbled over this hurdle a LOT. Sometimes I think people do this purposely to be cryptic and misleading. Or to hint at something, but leave themselves plenty of room to back out if they change their minds. But sometimes I think that they really are just asking for information, and don't have any idea that someone like me is going to think they were asking something more.This is an uncomfortable (and sometimes embarrassing) situation for both parties.
Has this ever happened to you? Or are you a person who asks for more information and then gets blamed for not following through on an invitation you never realized you extended?
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Comments (18)
they just wanna see if ur interested... dont realli neccessarily mean anything..
Wow, 154 views and not a single eProp or comment... ouch.... Guess I'll start the trend XD
Well, nothing like this has really happened to me- not that I can remember. If it has, I guess I'd just forget it because things like that are easily forgotten by me. I gain my information from many devices, but I'd never dream of asking anything like that to gain information. It just seems silly.
@aznsista2envy@xanga - damn, you just made my comment look silly =P You and you're stupid quickness!
@Jack_Morrison@xanga - hhahaah i just woke upLOL
is not silly! it really depends on the tone of voice/body langauage.. how they put it in words..
im sure many people feels the same:)
It sounds like they're emptily flirting with you, maybe to boost their self-esteem. It's like when a guy asks for a chick's phone number but doesn't call.
this has happened to me a ton of times and since it's happened so much, i just disregard it because i'm not sure if it's real or not. i've realized i can't always be like this because i've missed out on some good guys but it's true, because one did it to you, you're going to think of the others the same until proven wrong.
Wow that guy is a real ass. My guess is that he just asked you because he was curious if you're interested in him even if he's not interested in you.
I love knowing when people are interested in me, but I wouldn't go about trying to figure out who likes me by leading them on.
I might be the type to ask a what if initially to fish for more info. with the intent of following through depending on her reaction and apparent enthusiasm.
wow, that JUST happened to me...
"So, what are you doing tomorrow"
"Nothing""
*silence....*
I had that just a couple of nights ago, although it was slightly different because I was busy the weekend that the guy proposed. It was hypothetical though because he didn't propose another weekend after that it was just to see whether or not I would do it. It's such a letdown though! I never intentionally do it to people, although I did just ask someone if they were going to this ball at University and I have just realised that he might take this the wrong way. Oops....
I hate the fact that this exists.
....I've never had this issue. but i'm very cautious and I read signs well. Then again, i'm probably one of the few girls my age who just don't care to be in a relationship right now so frankly, i'm going to think you're joking and give you a ridiculous answer if I were to answer that retorically.
Of course, I wouldn't recommend doing what I do seeing on the small chance one could be serious. But eh, life's too short to be serious all the time.
I have a strange sense of humor,,,
it happens to me all the time. minus the embarrassment for the other person, because i never really act on these "invitations" unless i'm like a million percent sure
because i don't like being wrong haha D:it happens. I learned to tame my mind before it makes more of the situation than necessary.
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Are you hanging out/looking to date 12 year olds? These boys need to grow a pair and either ask you out or walk away.
I had the opposite problem - a guy asked me if I wanted to go see a movie (which I thought meant with him and friends) and it turned out to be a very well-thought out and purposeful date. He was obviously trying really hard but I just wasn't attracted to him. Awkward.