Saturday, 10 April 2010
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To Move on or To Keep Trying
I was with my boyfriend for two years. We had a good relationship and got along wonderfully. We had our own share of problems just like everyone else though.
A year into our relationship he cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend, and his reasoning was that he had a strong desire he couldn't satisfy with me to please someone.Terrible reasoning if you ask me, but he insisted it made sense. I forgave him and moved on from that. A year later I felt our relationship was dragging and I didn't feel wanted by him. I was unsure of his feelings for me.
I cheated on him with someone he didn't like. I also had hooked up with someone else before this happened. He was absolutely devastated when he found out this happened. I felt incredibly guilty and regretful for what I did.
For the past two months we have been arguing back and forth. I wish he would forgive me like I did with him. He wants me to change, but he thinks I will always be a whore. He thinks I do not care, yet I am always trying to be nice to him. I am truly sorry for what I did and I've been trying to re-establish a relationship with him...BUT he won't let go of the past.
I do not go out to clubs or drinking. He does that now and it makes me very worried. I know I am not a bad person and have learned from my mistakes. But is it worth it to keep trying to be with him again or am I wasting my time?
What do you do when a relationship ends on bad terms such as cheating? How do you move on from a relationship? Have you ever rekindled a relationship after severe damage?
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- From: Kimmiekakez@xanga
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Comments (25)
I would try again but just ones
i've haven't yet been in a relationship, so i can't really comment on much, but..... you forgave him for cheating, but he couldn't forgive you for cheating? i think something's amiss there.
It sounds like things in your relationship have just gotten to be unhealthy. I know that it's easier said than done, but I would move on if I were you. Meet someone new who will love you without all the drama and complication.
You did bring up that he did cheat on you, too right?
Just break up with him if he's not listening. You'll get over it if you let yourself.
dude seriously! why are you two still together. if you ever have the desire to cheat on someone then you don't mind hurting each other... i would say that is reason enough to end it.
break up. it does not sound like a good relationship when cheating is involved.
say goodbye to him. it was over when he cheated on you.
I agree with Dustin. If you two felt the urge to cheat, and in fact cheated, then something isn't working and you two shouldn't be together.
Move on, why deal with all of that? What a waste of time.
Sounds like you both need some soul searching to do. Yes, he did cheat on you - but that doesn't make it okay for you to do it to him.
Cheating is never the answer... and since you've both are guilty of it, even if you might forgive each other, that's always going to hang over your heads. The trust between you two is already broken. I think you need to move on and start fresh.
Good luck.
Wow, I smell drama.
you should have broke up the first time he cheated on you, a year ago or whatever.
you're wasting your time.
You both cheated on each other? Yeah, both of you need to get out.
You should have called it quits when he cheated on you with his ex-girlfriend.
i highly recommend you two to sit down and maybe talk about it but if you're already feeling like it's dragging then you're ready to end it.
Honey, you need to end it. Take all the time you need to do it, but it does need to be done. He cheated on you a year ago? And now you've cheated on him twice? There doesn't seem to be any way that there can be trust or respect in this relationship. You BOTH deserve someone who will love you and respect you, and not ask you to change (too much - there's always compromise). But outside of marriage, when someone cheats, it's almost impossible to get the trust back. In fact, I've never heard of it happening. And you can't have a healthy relationship without trust and honesty.
I know it's going to be hard and it's going to suck going into the summer single, but for the good of everybody involved it needs to end. Just know that you're not alone! A lot of us have been here before, and you will get through it.
stop torturing yourself.
since u guys both cheated on each other,
TRUST no longer exist in the relationship.
it's really hard to maintain a relationship without any trust n commitment.
i do think that break up is the best way.
everyone deserves the best,
n you should find somebody who is much more better than him.
anywaysss, this is just my opinion.
wish you good luck. :)
I disagree with the rest of these people and maybe I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but you two either deserve each other or to be alone. Quite frankly, at least that way your behavior won't affect the next one. Even the 'about me' is a little disingenuous cause based on what you've done... you're certainly not thoughtful or sensitive.
Stay together, save someone else some emotional distress.
it sounds like you didn't really move on and held a grudge since you also cheated. even if you felt regretful and guilty afterwards, I think he feels that you intentionally cheated out of vengeance to somehow get even since you "cheated on him with someone he didn't like", so that you'd hurt him the way he hurt. you expected him to easily forgive you like you forgave him despite the terrible reasoning since he cheated so he should understand but he can't let go of the past since you cheated not once but twice, although unfaithfulness in general is horrible to begin with even just once. if it happens once, it could possibly be a mistake, but since you hooked up a second time, he probably sees that as something that is likely to happen again even if it won't. I think he goes to clubs and drinking as a way to cope with his unhappiness even if it isn't healthy. both of you are selfish and this bitter relationship most likely won't work.
the reason u cant leave him because.it became a habit.. and habit is always hard to remove...
but if u know wt u want.. den u know u hav to leave.
Honestly both of you need a breather. Yes, he cheated on you and you forgave him, but you turned around and did the same thing to him. Doesn't make sense to me. I've been in a similar situation instead I never cheated. My ex boyfriend's gf cheated on him twice, they broke up, then we went out for two years, then he ended up back with his ex, while we were talking. The lesson here is to treat others the way you want to be treated. Sounds very kindergarten like, but it's true. Karma will come back to bite. Above all, be honest. I wish you the best.
it just seemed like the two of you may be better without each other. Both of you cheated after all.
It sounds like neither of you are really ready to be committed to each other, so my advice would be to take a month or two break so you both experiment with other people and figure out if you still really want each other. After that, discuss it, and if you decide to be together, forgive and truly forget the past, including the time off from each other you just had. If you decide not to be together, lesson learned and you won' be an a relationship hat's uncomfortable anymore.
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