Thursday, 08 April 2010
-
The Oldest Double Standard
We've all witnessed it. A girl in your English class hooked up with a guy and half the junior class (and counting) knows about it.
I give it, maybe by fourth period, sixth if it's her first offense. By that time, the girls' bathrooms are riddled with trash-talk and scandalous rumors about the poor girl. Some true, some a little more far-fetched. And there you have it: she's scarred. Forever tarnished and branded "easy" for the remainder of her high-school, and maybe even college career!
Now, from the boys' perspective. The bathrooms are spotless (except for the occasional penis, they all draw them - for what reason, I'll never know.), the halls are silent. In fact, not many people pay attention to his side of the hookup. And, when his guy friends get an earful, high fives all around and where the hell's the beer?! It's time to celebrate.
It may be the oldest contradiction that's been handed down generation to generation, and it doesn't matter whether it be the preps, goths, or skaters. This isn't to say that all guys are pigs, and certainly not that all girls are catty. Of course, I'm guilty; I admit, I've been quick to judge.. But majority rules.
Why is it that girls are oppressed with their "indecent" and "disgusting" acts, when most girls have been in their place, and insist on carving those nasty words into the stall door? More importantly, why do guys act so differently?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: Day923@xanga
- Name: Day923
- About Me: In order to be old and wise you must first be young and stupid
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 8 Views: 0 22702 Comments: 0 387 View all posts by Day923@xanga
Comments (79)
i think a lot of times, the reason that girls say the terrible things is because they're jealous. that's just my opinion though.
I have no idea. seriously. High school/Jr High trash talk is something I've been involved in from time to time... but never enjoyed. Ever. I found myself defending people I had never met, simply because I was sick and tired of the clacking of chicken-heads in the bathroom. Don't get me started on the guy groups whose soul purpose were to point out the finest ass in their genital-direction. er... general direction.
whatev
teenagers
@emilyandana@xanga - Jealousy makes people do or say ugly things. It's true.
I've been the victim of trash talk, its because their jealous, and they make it up to make themselves feel better. Trust me I know because I've been through it. I'm 23 married and luckily my husband didn't know what they said about me, because he lived 2 1/2 hours away..and he's 9 years older than me :).
Your title says it: it really is the oldest double standard. It's been with humans since the dawn of consciousness ... I can't tell you why we still entertain this concept of double standard, and call girls sluts while guys are studs for the same behaviour. It's just been this way through all eras and most likely will continue to be.
The best you can do is forget what everyone is thinking and do what you like. Stick to your own morals, and if you don't believe a girl in this situation is being treated fairly, help her, stand up for her, maybe the boys and girls will realise keeping this way of thinking in place isn't right. If more people, both boys and girls/men and women, could realise how ridiculous this standard is, it'd be over with already. Still, guys and girls just behave and react differently, don't worry too much about it.
Best explanation I ever heard for the double standard was done in terms of locks and keys. If a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is
opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock.
I hate this double standard. I have never been a victim of it but I also never take part in the bashing and gossiping. Its immature. People NEED to grow up.
@Vampiric_Drummer_Guy@xanga - This is a great analogy, I love it.
I was a virgin for the most part of highschool and when i got my first boyfriend, some girls wrote about me on the bathroom wall saying that i was a 24 hour whore and a no chin bitch they also found out my home phone number and wrote it also. i was shocked and hurt and angry. but i was pretty sure i knew who did it, one of the girls was in love with my boyfriend at the time and guess she was pretty persistent cause he later cheated on me with her. so in my experience people will call you what they want, it will never make it true. unfortunately its usually the lies that get spread the most quickly. because people like to hear bad things about strangers and gossip is addicting.
It's just one of those unfortunate things. There is an expectation of women to be innocent in certain ways, but that never applies to males. It's almost ingrained. I try not to let that thought process run through my mind.
byproduct of the patriarchy.
I hate to sound like those stupid girls that are like, "OMG, you're all just jealous of me!!!" even though nobody is jealous of them at all. But I do think it's often jealousy or else an attempt to get the heat off them--if everybody's busy talking about Susie down the street, there's no time left for them to talk about you. Hating (or hating on, as the case may be) someone else is a fear response--we hate when we feel something valuable to us is threatened. I think a lot of girls criticize other girls as a way to try to feel better about their own lives and their own mistakes and insecurities, not realizing that putting someone else down doesn't make you look better or negate the slutty things you've done. It just makes you look stupid for bashing someone else for such a dumb reason.
I prefer to keep my thoughts positive--I'm not perfect, but I'd rather make someone feel good about themselves than to make them feel crappy and I do have good intentions. Everyone knows what it's like to be gossiped about or ripped apart to others and we can all agree it sucks. More people need to be making a conscious effort to stop the cycle.
@Super_Andy@xanga - That is a horrible analogy. Just because men and women have different parts doesn't make them as different as locks and keys. They're still both people. That's just a chauvinistic way to justify men sleeping around and expecting women to be monogamous or else they're sluts. Honestly...
Maybe if girls stopped calling each other whores and spreading rumors about each other....I always hate it when people blame the double standard on guys when girls are just as, if not more, guilty of keeping it alive. Seems to me it's more gender on gender than anything. I don't know any girls who high five guys for being man-sluts anyways.
i'm sorry, high school is nothing like that, but i do get your point. it's annoying.
Maybe because people expect men to be pigs, so it's okay that they want to bang anything they see; but women are supposed to be goddesses and to hold their pure little noses high at the suggestion of anything remotely naughty or sexual at all. It's simple stereotypes, really. Very nearly all men are sluts, but a woman slut is seen as something different altogether. I think the whole thing is ridiculous because a third party observer can never fully understand something that went on between two other people. But this is generally how it goes, I feel like.
@MiaJoyTheWriter@xanga - men and women do have different emotions and ways of thinking. it's more likely for men to sleep around than women, so what a woman sleeps around, she's automatically deemed a slut. it's a reproductive behavior that can be linked back to early humans.
"More importantly, why do guys act so differently?"
Of course it depends on which guys you are talking about. This doesn't apply to all guys, but for those it does apply to, I think it has a lot to do with bravado and trying to fulfill the image of manliness impressed upon them by the culture their in, which includes themselves. They often propagate said expectations so they don't appear to be lacking in this area. And then some guys truly believe that's how things are. Then there's the guys who won't have a part in it, but are for the most part overlooked because they are not as vocal (and often not as numerous) on this topic. At least, that is my understanding of things as a high school veteran.
well, most girls are stupid....most of the time.
I didn't notice trash talking about other girls at my school bathrooms. there were mainly just writing on the bathroom stall walls and it would usually be something like this girl's name loves this boy's name with a heart drawn around it or people would autograph their name, then someone else would write "bitch" next to these names or something to demean them. the drama at my school was mainly guys fighting each other. fighting over girls or just fighting because one maddogged the other, I don't know what started these fights because I never asked around but fights were so common that I didn't even bother gathering to watch anymore after a while. I think girls just like to gossip more because it gives them some sort of drama fix. guys mostly just want to get laid, not talk LoL
Maybe it's cos women have always been expected to live up to some virginal standard. Whereas it's easier taken in stride that men are "dogs" or whatever it is they're called these days.
It has been ingrained in American culture that men are more sexual and should embrace this, while women are less sexual, should be pursued and not pursue, and are more innocent. This view was popularized during the early modern era and came to a height during the Victorian age (late 1800s).
Interestingly enough, this is a recent belief, just as the USA is a new country by historical standards. In Medieval and Renaissance Europe women were viewed as much more sexual.
i hate htis but unfortunatly we gotta live with it i personally hold guys an girls to the same standard and telly guys friends when their random sexual incounter disgust me i mea no matter what u can still get stds no matter your gender but i do have a theory .It may seem grotesque but when i guy has a lot of sex his penis isnt said to shrink but a girl well its says she gets looser so I believe thats where the double standard comes from.
Because girls aren't open with their sexual desires. It's said in "girl" magazines that nearly as many women masturbate as men. Yet think about the last time a girl made a joke about masturbation.
sry to burst your bubble but not all the time are guys the ones drawing them...
and really? goth chicks do that? or do you mean like twilight-ers? interesting suprise