Picture this: you're happy as a clam with your SO and you're even talking about marriage. His best friend is a lesbian and wants to have a child. She doesn't want to go to a sperm bank. She doesn't want to find a random guy to impregnate her. She wants your man to do it. They've been best friend since kindergarten. She's not secretly bisexual and trying to get your man. You've even met her life partner. She just feels more comfortable with him because they've known each other for so long. Add in to the mix that she doesn't have money for artificial insemination so they're going to have to do the deed the old fashion way.
So if your SO asked you for your honest opinion because he respects your opinion, what do you say? Would you ever be okay with the thought of him having a child with another person, even if it is his best friend?
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Comments (191)
Anyone who says no is pro-Abortion.
Nope, sorry, I don't share. I'd be really uncomfortable with that.
If she was really my best friend, I'd probably put up the money for artificial insemination. I'm not a concubine.
i couldnt imagine my husband having a child with another woman. lesbian or not.
I'd like to know how people feel about this subject. I'm planning on having my best-friend's child (when we're ready to have children) but not have a romantic relationship with him. Ideally when I already have a SO whom I'm in a commited relationship with. It will probably be a complicated entanglement (bringing 2 moms and 2 dads a shitload more drama) especially since we'll do it the old fashion way as well.
I personally wouldn't have a problem with it.
hmm... that's a hard question indeed. It's most def asking a lot on all parties. I'd like to say I'd be cool with it, but I feel like it would be kinda odd after being married... like prior, I'd be totally fine if my SO had kids of his own. But after marriage, that's kinda my sperm too... going off with another egg. Wow, this is a hard question. I mean, we would all love said baby... mom, mom, dad, other girl who is married to dad.
I'd totally go bun in the oven to help people out, but I wouldn't use my own egg... that's kinda sacred to me. It kills me enough to not have my own son under my roof all the live long day... now we're talking about my SO's son with another family... I'd be happy to see two mothers bringing up a child of their own, but he/she would be a part of my family as well. So yea, it's a family decision. I guess all parties would have to sit down and speak out all their wants/needs from the situation and be prepared to hear the concerns that we all would have.... as we all aparently love babies!
Who doesn't love babies? Especially super cute ones!? I wouldn't deprive mothers of wanting to be mothers... and since they are best friends I'd totally hear them out... but I'd totally be lying if I said I wouldn't want to have some serious heart to hearts about the whole thing.
That is a crazy situation.
Uh NO!
Who thinks of this kind of stuff?? I'm confused. Why would you have someone elses child when you're not romantically linked to him? Why would you have someone elses child when you ARE romantically linked to someone else? Why would you expect your SO to be ok with it? What actual rationale do you have to do it besides: they're my best friend, they want a child? So, would you kill someone for your best friend, Would you rob a bank because your best friend wants 10 million dollars - probably not.
Whats the REAL reason you're doing it? Theres so many things wrong with this scenerio.
@wished_upon_a_star@xanga - I said the exact same thing aloud.
I guess I would be okay with him being the father but I would try to get money for artificial insemination. I would NOT be okay with them sleeping together because just because she's not sexually interested in him, he is a heterosexual man and will most likely enjoy it. That's not monogamy.
NO. I'd help her raise money for artificial insemination. No more.
It's not even like he could just do it ONCE with her and she'd have her baby. He'd have to screw her MULTIPLE TIMES... and what if it takes her a while? Would I want my husband screwing her for a period of months or years?
This disgusts me.
@Thumper49047@xanga - they are LESBIAN, so they need a sperm donor!
O.P. it depends on how the lesbian bff is, is she an alcoholic? does drug? can she support the kid without my help, does she have any healthy that might affect the baby? does she make a good mother? and lots of other factors!
if she is ideal, then I guess I have no problem with it....but it does kind of sucks not able to take care of my own biological kid thou!
@Thumper49047@xanga - well the examples you threw out would be committing a crime and involving jail time. And no, of course those wouldn't be valid because no amount of love is worth committing a crime over so I wouldn't even ask.
@JaydenWolf@xanga - well, he could screw you for months to years and take the sperm out and give it to her
first off, my SO would not even hesitate to look at the woman strange no matter how long he has known her and would not ask me for my opinion because he would have said no right when she had asked. second of all, absolutely not. if you cannot have a child, adopt. there many children in this world; especially in america itself that are in need of a good home. why be as selfish as to want to have one of your own by taking someone else's man to do this? i don't care how long you've known him, its still completely wrong in my eyes. be a responsible adult and realize that you have two options: adoption or unknown sperm. if you cannot have one on your own due to their situation, either go to the sperm bank or adopt. in my opinion, i believe that adoption should have been the first thing that comes to their mind. there are plenty of children out there america and outside both that are in need of a loving home.
@wenguang@xanga - No she's healthy and has a good head on her shoulder. What people don't realize is that any type of fertility procedure costs an arm and a leg and they normally don't have a payment plan either. Also, it's not a 100% guarantee success rate so if it doesn't work, that's 10K down the drain.
By the way, it's actually my friend's situation but I voiced out saying I wouldn't be ok with it. I was then accused of being selfish (by other people) and apparently going to hell for it. That's why I decided to post this up here and see how many selfish or self-less people are out there.
@JaydenWolf@xanga - I totally agree with your stance.
i dunno i dont thinkid would be ok with it because id prolly think about it and wodr way to much I would want to let him but i think if I ever did I would leave him because I couldnt deal with it in my head maybe donate his sperm to her but also if she was your friend for real she would ask for his sperm not sex because she wouldnt do that to you thats alot to ask from someone in a relationship
WOW,honestly, I wouldn't know what to do. I really wouldn't be comfortable with that though, especially cause they'd have to do it.
I would probably say no.
@Schristian@xanga - We're not killing anyone.
I don't know.
I would want to say no. I really, really, would want to say no, because I'd be jealous, and the situation would cause a lot of internal problems for me for a huge chunk of time.
However, I would feel as if I were being selfish, and would feel guilty for saying no, particularly since the girl isn't attracted to him, is a close friend, and isn't trying to do anything to mess up either relationship, it seems like it should be reasonable... other than the actual act of sex, which is debatably reasonable, since she can't afford the alternative?
no, i wouldn't be comfortable with that.
This is a bizarre situation to have to be in.
I would not feel comfortable with the fact my boyfriend is having sex with another woman nor would I feel comfortable with the fact that my boyfriend is having sex with someone he and I know and perhaps with my consent, and the even more uncomfortable fact is that he's having sex with her to get her pregnant so she can be a mom which will ultimately mean he'll be the father and I'll be the soon-to-be step mother. Like how do you explain this to the child when they get older? WTF? That is just a weird ass situation.
If he was even normal, he would think twice to ask such a thing and if she was normal, she'll ask another guy best friend who doesn't have a girlfriend.
Ever heard of a turkey baster? They don't *need* to do it the old-fashioned way. And if she's a lesbian, anyway, why would she want to?