Wednesday, 07 April 2010
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Stay Away From the Opposite Sex
When I hear about girls telling their boyfriends they can’t be friends with the opposite sex, it shocks me. Maybe it’s because I have friends of both genders so I have no problem with my boyfriend having friends that are girls.I have noticed something else recently. Guys can be just as jealous and paranoid as girls. Who would have thought?
There’s a huge stereotype that girls turn into these giant jealous green monsters that will claw a person's eyes out if they see their boyfriends talking to other girls. But guys can be crazies too! Some of my friends who have boyfriends have told me that their significant other has a real problem with them even just interacting with males.
How healthy is it to have your only friend of the opposite sex be your boyfriend or girlfriend? Really, if your boyfriend and girlfriend were going to cheat on you, they would have done it already. Sounds harsh, but it’s true. No amount of snooping and stalking is going to prevent them from doing something if they really wanted to. So why worry yourself if there isn’t anything to even stress about? Just take a chill pill and relax.
Do you have a problem with your boyfriend/girlfriend having friends of the opposite sex?
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About the Author
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- From: sharealynn
- About Me: hellooooo! my friends call me cher and i love pandas.
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Comments (40)
I don't have a boyfriend but if I did I would have no problem with it. It would be him inviting his friend of the opposite sex over his house that would irk me though o_o.
he can have female friends but if she gets drunk and sits on his lap, then I'll probably dropkick her to the floor as a friendly gesture to let her know to not do that again.
No. It's healthy. I think of it like this: Would I want him freaking out about my guy friends, who I feel platonic feelings for and nothing else? No, so I do the same to him. Plus when I'm around only girls for a long period of time girls' nature can get to me. I need that gender balance.
i love that my boyfriend has female friends. i trust him and am cool with him hanging out alone with a good female friend, i do the same with my best guy friend.
what i don't love is girls who constantly try to get with him even though they know he's with me.
i know he would never cheat but i wouldn't be cool with him hanging out one on one with those kinds of 'friends'. if they're obviously not interested in him as only a friend, why should he bother? i'm the same way with my guy friends. if all they want to do is hook up with me, no thanks.
i have to disagree that "if they were going to cheat on you, they would have done it already." i get what you're saying, but that's still totally not true.
I don't understand how you can take comfort in such an inevitability. Perhaps, I have control issues.
doesn't mind me at all. just tell me where ur at and who ur with and i'm fine.
My ex gf as like that and it pissed me off
So I didnt trust her
i don't really care if he has any friends that are girls because i trust in him and know that his intentions with them would only be friends. he also trusts in me too but he doesn't trust the male friends that i have that their intentions are good and mentality is "just friends".
No boyfriend. But if so, I don't mind. I'd be happy that he has friends, even if they're girls.
I was in a year long relationship with a really controlling and overly jealous guy. He would throw a fit every time I mentioned a guy or saw or heard that I talked to a guy. I go to an all girls high school and I decided I just had enough of his jealousy fits when he got mad and paranoid when I went out with my girlfriends and thinking I was going to meet up with other guys or something.
I think you're right when you say if your partner is gonna cheat, they would have done it already. I treat my partner the same way they treat me, if they don't get mad when I talk to other guys then I won't get mad if they talk to other girls. But in my next relationship, there was a rumor going around that he was flirting with another girl behind my back and when I confronted him about it, he blew his anger way out of proportion and said to me "I can't believe you would even think that" and ignored me for three weeks. That other girl's ex-boyfriend came to me one day and told me that she and my boyfriend were planning to go on a date for a while now and that's when it was officially confirmed that he was cheating on me.
Being overly jealous or giving your partner too much freedom both have their ups and downs, depending on the person really. Being overly jealous may keep your partner around for a while, but eventually they'll get tired of it. But giving your partner too much freedom may make them think you don't care or something and make them more likely to cheat. It depends upon the trust in one another.
There isn't really a right or wrong answer here. Life is full of surprises. Some of which are good and some are bad. But in the end, they're all valuable lessons to build us up in characters and make us stronger to become the person that God created us to be. God in the end is all sovereignty. I look at life through diety lenses.
depends on the type of 'girlfriends' he has... and if he is a flirty type or not...
Most of my best friends are guys and everybody knows that.. So my bf would have to be able to deal with that, but my friends are just all so cool that they would always include my bf if he was around and they always take care of me like im their little sister.. So my bf knows that if im hanging out with them or going out, he shouldn't have to worry.
I wouldn't mind if my bf had girl---- friends but what I do hate is, if they treat me like i don't exist.. If he's hanging out with female friends, I expect at least a hello , how u doing, i'm... Cause i'm like that. If my guyfriends have gf's i always introduce myself and try to include them in the conversation.. But if I don't like the girl, I would tell hem and say that i'm not comfortable of them hanging out alone or whatever.. If my bf would say that about one of my friends, I would respect that and try to make him see that nothings going on..
She doesn't mind at all, but I turn into a skeptic when I talk about any of them around her x_x mainly from past patters of past ex's being the jealous types not wanting to hear it ("Why you talkin bout dat bitch?")
And I would encourage her to have my guy friends, or friends in general. Doesn't bother me at all, we have too much trust in each other.
The only friends of the opposite sex I have issues with my boyfriend being friends with are the ones he's either:
A.) Slept with
B.) Dated
C.) Are in love with him.
D.) all or most of the above.
Unfortunately, that cuts into about 80% of his friends, including his best friend who he's slept with once upon a time. I wouldn't have a problem with HER if she wouldn't consistently talk to ME about how good the sex was with him that ONE time. I have insecurity/paranoia issues, and its not that I don't trust him, its that I don't trust her/them. Fortunately for me, he understands that and while I would NEVER ask him to stop talking to her, he limits his contact with her because of what I've told him. And what he's seen and heard from her. I would give him the same courtesy, and have. I no longer talk to my long term ex who was my best friend for almost half a decade now. But that's because I love him. My boyfriend, not my ex.
Fortunately, I attract psychopaths of both sexes.
I don't care for clingy people especially clingy jealous guys.There isn't anything worse. I haven't had the displeasure of dating one of these freaks though. Guys are probably more psychotic about this crap than females are. I honest to God, don't have many male friends. Never had, probably never will. Guys think i'm probably too overbearing and eccentric.
If my boyfriend told me something stupid like that i'd laugh and break it off. No one should be restricted like that over a dumb paranoid reason.
Yes, guys can be overly jealous too, and it's just as annoying (if not more so) as when girls are.
I have plenty of friends of both sexes. If my SO can't handle that, then she's not gonna be my SO for long. Friends come first.
I don't really mind that he does, but it'd be nice if I could meet them at least once as well.
don't have a gf right now, but i think i would be okay with my significant other making other guy friends if i knew that she loves me and only me. but girls like these are one in a dozen. more or less.
its cool with me as long as they were never dating and have never done anything sexual together. (unfortunately my boyfriend is kind of friends with someone he kind of hooked up with once... and is decent friends with someone he made out with a few times... i'm not thrilled about it)
the other thing that comes into play is how he acts around this female friend. if there's any note of flirtation on either end, i get uncomfortable with the idea of them hanging out when i'm not around. but most of his female friends i'm totally fine with.
i'm insecure, but i'm not unreasonable.
he doesn't typically care if i hang out with other guys. he trusts me, but he lets me know if i did something he wasn't 100% comfortable with. not in an accusatory way, but just to let me know. (like one time when i went to a venue with some friends and some random guys offered me some weed outside, and i smoked with them by myself, my bf wasn't mad but he was like "what would you think if i did that with some random girls?" and i just reassured him and it was fine)
im really defiant so that would pose as a challenge for me. Challenge in id see how many guys i could be around before he blows his top. im all for respect but damn that's just possessive and unnecessary
I think it's completely ridiculous and completely unreasonable. He (or she) is not YOURS, you don't own your SO, they're not your child in which you have the power to control and manipulate their friendships. I know people that have dated people who won't "let them" hang out with their friends, and usually, the relationship goes on for a while, and then it crashes and burns. And then the friend comes back, feeling foolish for letting their girlfriend of six months negotiate their friendships that had been going on for years and years. If you honestly don't feel comfortable, because you're getting some sort of vibe, fine, let them know that it makes you feel uncomfortable. But if you're in an honest and committed relationship with someone where you truly care about your partner, you would never mandate anything from them, least of all their friendships.
my last ex had some jealousy issues. im sure it was worse than he admits..but he didnt like me to hang out or callmy old guy friends.. and hed always want me with him.. ill never again be with a guy who cant accept my friends as friends
No more than 10 inches away, it's already too much...