Sunday, 04 April 2010

  • Question of the Day: What is Flirting?

    I'm probably going to get insulted about this but what is flirting?

    It has been well documented by my friends that

    1. I do not know when a girl is flirting with me until she says, "I want you," or puts her hands down my pants.

    2. I can't or apparently do not flirt. I always thought flirting was false promises, aka teasing. And apparently I don't even do what I believe it is!

    What are your definitions of flirting, coming on to someone?

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Comments (19)

  • Jack_Morrison@xanga

    Flirting is not something that can be given a simple definition. It all depends on who is doing the 'flirting'. For instance, somebody who is very outgoing and very 'flirtatious' will have a different method of flirting and therefore a different view on it. Playful jokes and light contact will probably not even seem like flirting to that person. 

    Whilst on the other hand you have those who aren't as outgoing- these people aren't usually seen as flirty at all. But they still do it. At least, they think they do, even if others do not.
    What I'm saying is there are many different levels to flirting- sometimes we can try to change our own level of flirting in order to match that of the person we wish to seek attention from. I have been on both ends of the spectrum- before I was schizophrenic my idea of flirting was telling the odd dirty joke and slight teasing. Now though, I get a lot more physical and obvious with my flirts (although I wouldn't say 'putting my hands down their pants'- seriously, who does that?). I think the best relationships come from when neither party have to change their level of flirting to match the others.
  • supaflychikn@xanga

    flirting is my favorite.


    it doesn't necessarily mean "i want you". i'd say it's more joking around/teasing, or at least for me. laugh a lot, imply things, eh just make jokes. whatevz.
  • HollowTendencies@xanga

    Flirting can either be A. Hints from someone who is generally interested or B. The antics of a very cruel person who just wants to lead you on until you fall for them and then they can say, "OMG, you think I like you? Get away from me!" 


    You said definition right? Perhaps you meant examples.. Then I'd say ANYTHING can constitute as flirting these days. Winking, smiling, laughing at your jokes that aren't funny, touching you while talking to you, staring at you excessively, giving you the last piece of gum, etc.
  • mcmeister89@mancouch

    Being friendly with someone in a way other than to friendzone them so you can get in their pants.

    This doesn't necessarily mean immediately, you may want to get them in a monogamous relationship... Then get in their pants.
  • fuzzi_mushroom@xanga

    I feel like i unconcsciously flirt sometimes....tho i dont mean to i like cracking jokes and poking fun at people in a friendly way

    i  dont like the idea of flirting cause i feel like it plays with peopl too much...you dont know who will look at it as nothing or get led on. too complicated
  • StylishMudd@xanga

    flirting - touching and giggling the person you are currently interested in. Also making playful remarks about what you're wearing or doing. 
  • SamBarger@xanga

    flirting is definitly teasing. if a girl is teasing with you, giggling and touching you ( not like groping you, but small punches or etc )


    hats flirting. BUT flirting doesnt mean they "want you" or even want anything to do with you. its just flirting. hahaha
  • Jacykid@xanga

    Flirting.. I think when you are really love some1 and try to flirt, the people will feel it
    And~~ flirting also can play with some1 that very close to u, and he/she know that u're playing with them, and they will answer you with the funny response and acting... so have to depends on how u are flirt and who are u flirting with..

  • lil_KyungMin@xanga

    Flirting doesn't necessarily mean interest. It's just having fun. It could happen with people how like each other or people who don't. Just a natural act of communicating playfully.
  • vaguely_nameless@xanga

    I will quote Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being:

    "What is flirtation? One might say that it is behavior leading another to believe that sexual intimacy is possible, while preventing the possibility from becoming a certainty. In other words, flirting is a promise of sexual intercourse without a guarantee."

    Great book. But not only in reference to flirting. Highly recommended. :)
  • PMFoutofwater

    It's indefinable. You only know you're flirting when you're flirting. You get a feeling inside.


    Check out my dating disasters:
    http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
  • Sirius_Fan_Girl@xanga

    Flirting is acting in such a way as to entice someone to you. This is not necessarily intentional. For example, I think I flirt with every guy I know, but not on purpose. I have a boyfriend, I'm happy, and I do not want the extra affections. So, as someone else said, flirting does not always equate with interest.

    I suppose I flirt to become friends, not to be romantically appealing. But it probably gets misinterpreted.

    Also, I think flirting and "coming onto someone" are different. When you come on to someone, there is definite interest, but flirting is playful and fleeting.
  • JusticeCho@xanga

    I've written about flirting a lot of times, but to me there are two types.  Flirting and hitting on.  Flirting is just innocent stupidity that makes people laugh and is more like joking around.  Hitting on is premeditated with a goal of getting someone to want to have sex with you.

    Basically the only way to know if you're flirting is 1, if you're trying hard to flirt, or 2, if everyone around you says "damn you flirt".

    For your two points, 1. I have the same problem, I never know when a girl likes me until she tells me straight up.
  • Icecold4u@xanga

    Sometimes...I think flirting is taken a wrong way...


    To me atleast, flirting is SUCCESSFULLY making another person or persons (what a playa that would be?) attracted to you physically, mentally or even money-wise, while making said person or persons want to further get to know you (Keeping them on the chain).


    Flirting that is ignored or is unsuccessful shouldnt be bad flirting, it is just a plain FAILURE.
  • we_found_safety@xanga

    i think that flirting is laughing, having fun, maybe pushing a little bit of charm, but mostly innocent. sometimes it's just peoples personalities to be flirty and other times not, i have a lot of friends that are just naturally flirty with everyone. it doesn't necessarily mean they want them in their pants or that they they supposedly want them at all. i think that flirting is fun
  • diannisforever@xanga

    i dont flirt i never have and i prolly will never do it. But yea i used to be super dense and not notice when it was happening. but flirting should be suggestive.

    But when i open up i get the way i get and just wont shut up and somehow that translates as flirting which is frustrating when i have to back down.
  • xlostinthecityx@xanga

    i just dont know too. i mean sometimes i was laughing because the joke s really funny and my other girl friends think i like him and think i m flirting with him. but no.
  • align___t@xanga

    flirting varies for each person. i know what some guys take as flirting i kind of don't.. so it depends and can be hard to tell sometimes. for me whenever im interested i just gravatate towards them, and really like talking to them and do/say embarrassing things lol
  • erinjessicaxox@xanga

    I flirt without meaning to. 

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