Wednesday, 31 March 2010
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10 Questions to Never Ask a Man
I’m a curious gal, and I’ve made the mistake of asking some crazy questions. Here are 10 of my all-time favorite crazy questions that me or my friends have actually asked back in our Dating Dummy days:
What’s wrong? I know something’s wrong. Even though we women see this as being caring and sympathetic, men see these persistent questions as NAGGING. Men like to solve their problems on their own, and they will ask for your advice or opinion when they want it. Men love it when you trust them to handle their business on their own. You can be there for a man without solving his problems for him or making him talk about them.
Do I look fat in this? Yes you do! Why do we seem to think that men have different eyes than we do? Yes, we speak different love languages at times, but I’m pretty sure that he can see that top not fitting you quite like it should just like you can. Now, obviously your man might have a different perception of your body than you do, but you should wear clothes that make you feel fabulous and sexy—not uncomfortable or self-conscious. If you “feel fat” in something, don’t ask him for his opinion. Just wear something else.
Am I the prettiest/sexiest/best girlfriend you’ve ever had? You’re never going to win when you start comparing yourself to other people. And what exactly is the purpose behind this question? Are you going to get mad at him if you are not the prettiest girlfriend he’s ever had? This question smacks of insecurity, competitiveness, and is quite pointless.
How many times have you slept with her? [after meeting one of his female friends for the first time] I have a suspicion that men and women cannot be purely platonic friends. Although I think this is true, I’m certainly not ready to answer that question if it is asked back to me.
Can I measure your penis? / Exactly how long is your penis? I have NO idea why I needed or wanted to know this, but no man has ever answered this question or allowed me to whip out my ruler to investigate. Men are extremely sensitive about their penises. It’s like their spiritual power source. And would you want a man to ask to measure the elasticity of your vagina? Didn’t think so.
Do you really enjoy giving me oral sex? Now, why do we do this to ourselves? In the face of this question, men will try their darndest to be diplomatic for as long as possible (which is usually five minutes). Of course they enjoy giving you pleasure! Of course they enjoy helping give you your daily dose of O. But there is absolutely no need to push him into a corner of having to answer the question of whether he truly enjoys all that munching. And then we go and get our feelings hurt when he says something like, “Well, I mean, I could live without it, but it’s okay.”
What happens if I get pregnant? This kind of question will make the man wonder how many times you have gotten pregnant before and whether you might be trying to “trick” him into a marriage through pregnancy. I’ll answer this question for you: If you get pregnant, you will either give birth to the baby or not and then raise the baby or not yourself. He may or may not be there for the ride. It’s best to make sure you are ready to deal with whatever happens if you get pregnant without assuming he’s going to be in agreement with your plan.
What do you think about my mom? If a man is going to be with you, he needs to respect your mother, and if he’s going to marry you, he needs to love your mother. But he doesn’t have to like her. Don’t make him lie and say that he does if you suspect that he doesn’t.
Do you want to move in together? Ya’ll already know I don’t play the moving in together game. Moving in together is not going to make a man any more ready to marry you. However, I understand that it can be quite fun and romantic and whatnot. But! If a man wanted to move in with you, he would bring it up. With these kinds of things, it feels so much better to us women to be asked than to do the asking. Let him ask you!
When are you going to propose? Asking a man when he’s going to propose is handing him the power to define the relationship. Why would you want a man to marry you who is not excited or ready enough to ask you? If a relationship is not progressing within your own internal deadlines, don’t pester him about where things are going. Let him know that you’ve had a great time together, but that you seem to want different things, and then peace out. If he can’t live without you, he’ll get ready—quick.
It’s best to avoid questions like these, because you’ll often get the reply the guy thinks you want to hear (even if it’s not the truth), or get a reply that you didn’t want and get your feelings hurt unnecessarily. Innocent curiosity can cross the line into invasive investigation if you aren’t careful!
What are some other questions you should avoid asking your SO?
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- From: CrazyGirl
- Name: Kaneisha
- About Me: I provide dating and happiness advice for Crazy Girls and the people who love us at http://crazygirlnation.com. I love to read, write, and give advice.
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Comments (131)
Some of these become conversations when you're in a long term relationship though.
I disagree. I think all of these questions should be asked, and the denial of such is only contributing to the plasticity which dominates modern relationships.
Biggest single reason I am still single, i give the wrong answers to those usually.
I dont really care to ask a guy most of these but i know i prolly anwsered alot of them to all my boyfriends and honestly i think the best and prettiest if you dont like youre current guy or girl more than all the other ones you been with what are you doing that called setteling and thats a no no cause not only will you be unhappy youre partener on some level will know and be unhappy
@samanthabecicka@xanga - "honestly i think the best and prettiest if you dont like youre current guy or girl more than all the other ones you been with what are you doing that called setteling and thats a no no cause not only will you be unhappy youre partener on some level will know and be unhappy"- SO true! I could never put that into words. Props,girl! lol
wow..i'm a girl and i'm cringing at that list..I would never say any of those things..Interesting
as a guy i dont think all of those qualify as "never ask". but then i dont consider myself a typical guy. lol
Some of those questions sound valid but only some.
i'm guilty of asking the first two questions... the rest, not really.
i have asked if he liked me more than his ex-girlfriends, mainly because my last major relationship ended with him going back to his ex. so i'm a little insecure. i'm too scared to ask if i'm prettier or whatever. i don't want to prompt him into evaluating my attractiveness level compared to other women for fear of ending up on the bottom.
i've been curious about measuring his penis.... lol. but i would never EVER ask. its just something i've never done since i'm not a guy. i've seen a fair number, but never measured any and my memory is only so good when it comes to size.
Why would I ask to measure his penis? I see it, isn't that enough? Some of the questions you posted don't get asked that often. And at some point, it IS ok to talk about moving in and what if's. It IS ok to talk about what's wrong with him. I know in your universe men don't have feelings, but in the rest of the world, they do - and most of them don't mind talking about it. It's ok to ask if he likes my mom - since he asks me if I like his mom. If you're so uncomfortable that you can't even as silly / embarrassing things, then what the hell are you doing with the guy? Oy. Your 'advice' doesn't apply to long term relationships, and barely applies to new / short term ones. Your book won't be loved much like this...
I don't think the last three questions are valid... Why should you have to wait for the guy to ask to live together? Same thing with proposing - breaking up with them as a way to force them to propose isn't exactly fair, imo. What's wrong with the girl proposing to the guy? And not bringing up the issue is just messed up communication - something that tends to screw up a lot of relationships.
I LOVE giving oral to a girl I'm dating. If I'm in a deep relationship I'll say what I think about someone's mom, most good girls have good moms anyway. I don't do the move in game either, only marriage. I do think the proposal question is unromantic/pushy. There are other ways to suggest it.
I've asked to measure him before. He obliged. It was hilarious... and I think I only asked because I KNOW he's well endowed, haha.
I don't think it's wrong to talk about the possibility of pregnancy, if you're using contraceptives or not. You should be aware that sex can lead to pregnancy. If you shove it under the rug, you're being childish.
aw der. i fail.
Well, I think some of them are okay to ask after a certain point in the relationship. But I'll agree with you on a few of them, like the "how many times have you slept with her" one, or the "am I the prettiest girlfriend you've ever had" one. :P
I got another one. I got a really good one that should defiantly be added to this list.
So make it eleven.
Definitely.
My girl asked me if I liked her because she reminded me of my mother.
It took 5 minutes of silence and thought to answer this question.
This is like walking on shards of glass.
Never ask you're boy friend anything and you'll be ok
You forgot one:
What are you thinking about?
Something else: women can already calculate your approximate size by using their index finger and thumb, or rather, two index fingers. measuring it seems to be redundant, see as that's all us guys do anyway when we're single. :P
wow
i never knew 7 8 9 s not ok!@wideopenskies@xanga - But it's one of those things. A guy can say he'll be there for you should anything happen and then fly the coop when the baby comes. That happen to my friend in high school. He was with her, went to all the hospital checks, acted very much in love, and then took off a week after the baby came. We were shocked.
These are questions that I picture myself asking jokingly to purposely make my partner uncomfortable.
@Cest_LaxVie@xanga - I totally agree with you.
Majority of these questions aren't valid at all. So I would say I disagree with this post. If you're comfortable enough with your S.O, to ask these questions shouldn't jeopardize your relationship, especially if its about the possibility of getting pregnant.
And from my own experience, my S.O doesn't like my mother. He doesn't need to love/like her for our relationship to work out in the end. Neither is it an actual requirement, in any relationship, to have to please the other person's mother - it would however make things go a little smoother, but my mom has no say in this, even if she does, it's my choice in the end, right?
I disagree... I feel that in a relationship, the woman should discuss with their partner about what happens if she does happen to get pregnant. Would he still be here and help her raise the child if she wants to keep it? or would he tell her to get an abortion instead.
idk that's just the way I feel.
@sneeezy@xanga - Well, I'm engaged and my mom LOVES my fiance, but if she didn't, I wouldn't care much. I just dislike these 'advices' and so I have urge to speak my mind and stuff.
@Cest_LaxVie@xanga - Yea, I see where you're coming from (:
My S.O doesn't lie that he doesn't like my mom, although my mom's pushing for me to let her meet him, but I know things won't go down so well when it happens. He's honest and blunt and he's not going to make up excuses or lie that he doesn't approve of her as a responsible mom lol
I don't like these advices either, as minor as these questions are, they shouldn't be put away in a corner and labeled as "what not to ask your S.O", because they will eventually come up like you said (: