Monday, 29 March 2010
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Do You Accept Your SO Eating Habits?
I'm in a long term relationship and I've been a vegetarian for year's now, and he used to say that he liked that I was healthy, but now he seems to hate the fact that I don't eat meat and that I'm very conscious of what I put in my body.
I will mention to him to eat a little healthier at times, and I'll tell him to work out and that it would help him out because he's pretty young (20) and he already has a big stomach. Now I don't care about that, I love him the way he is, but his parents are very unhealthy and his mother has a lot of health problems, and I'm just worried about him sometimes.
See his parents eat a lot of meat, and just a lot of boxed, processed foods, whereas I eat a lot of vegetables, good fat's, no processed or boxed foods, so when I go to his house there isn't really anything there I can eat which bothers him and he would complain that we can't go out to a nice dinner because I can't eat that many things on the menu because I'm a vegetarian.
So I'm wondering, have any of you ever dealt with a SO that would tell you how to eat, or would get irritated that you were healthy/unhealthy? How did you deal with it?
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Comments (42)
well for one. your boyfriend is being silly. there are plenty of vegetarian things you can eat at a nice dinner. i recently stopped being a vegetarian from being one since i was a kid and my choices really havent changed that much. i feel like hes being a little closed minded.
i think its a bit overbearing and controlling to try and change someone's eating habits anyway.I don't have that sort of problem..but my SO is quite big himself and i love him to death..but still there are risks to your health when you are that big.. it does worry me sometimes. I do kindly remind him that we should try and eat more healthy because it's good for us..
and we can lose weight ^_^ He's not upset about it, in fact he embraces it and i get no hell for it either which is good. I mean we are on the same page about eating more healthy so i don't really have any problems..
but he should respect your eating habits xD and maybe you can help him get more healthier?
I have the same problem. But his family doesn't eat that unhealthy .. his mom makes vegetarian meals for me and she eats them and has never complained about my eating habits. My SO always says I need to eat more and tries to make me eat whatever he's having. A while ago I toyed with the idea of being vegan, but he actually got mad at me. He said I'd never be able to go anywhere, I'd ruin dinners because I'd be even pickier than I am now. Ouch. I just said, whatever, I don't NEED to stop eating animal products, I just wanted to try it. I'll try anything once, you know?
My friend's SO called her thunderthighs for eating chicken nuggets at a fast food restaurant once. They broke up.. he was always being unncessarily rude about what she ate and she wasn't even overweight or unhealthy.
I just say .. live how you want. Yea, you want to be with whoever, but you are still your own person and what you like to eat shouldn't have to be compromised.
Everybody should be entitled to their own eating habits, until it reaches an unhealthy point. I wouldn't want my other half eating themselves into a hole. By then it's less of an I'm-trying-to-change-you thing and more of a you-should-know-better thing.
You can eat healthy while still eating meat and on the other hand, most restaurants cater to vegetarian diets.
unique question. My ex was an incredibly picky eater. There'd be times I'd have made lunch or a dinner and she came over to eat and would be like, "Oh I only eat sloppy joes when my neighbor makes them." What? Her explanation would be, "The first time I had them was when she made them, and I love them so I don't eat anyone else's sloppy joes."
And there would be other things like this. Where she would only eat a brand of frozen corn - not fresh, corn on the cob or whatnot. It drove me beserk, because I love food, and have started to take up more cooking and baking and kitchen experimentation, but I couldn't ever share that with her because well ... she would never be happy about it.
For my birthday, I was told that my parents were talking the family out to dinner for my and my brother in laws birthday (we share a birthday) and earlier in the month were told it was to the FANCY restuarant in town. Well When the day came, we went somewhere cheaper because my parents realized they couldn't afford everyone - I was happy with it, but no the GF was livid, and pouted the entire time...because she wanted the ravioli from the FANCY place.
I know this isn't about the topic, but I wanted to share.
i don't have a SO but it would be a bid deal, i love to eat i mean i live around a lot of eateries of all types of cultures and its hobby of mine to check them out. if someone was a vegetarian/vegan, picky eater, or just doesn't like to eat them ill have a problem. but eating healthy should never be a bad thing (even though im snacking on some marshmallows as i type)
No, you just have to accept the other person.
I dated a vegan who was really condescending to me even though I gave an honest try at adopting some of her eating habits.
There's a line between being genuinely concerned about someone's health and forcing your ways on them. I wouldn't interfere with anyone's eating habits unless it was really making them sick.
I don't really have that problem. I'm a pretty decent cook so I make vegetarian taste good and my bf loves my food. He doesn't really miss the meat when I cook.
me and my boyfriend were the exact same way, except that he became a vegetarian too after we had been dating for a few months. he was pretty much raised on processed junk food and even though he's skinny, his dad has had 2 heart attacks so i always worried about his health. i helped him to eat a little bit healthier (mainly just cutting out most of the processed foods) but he also helped me to eat a lot less healthy. his unhealthy taste in food combined with my good cooking skills led us both to gain around 30-40 lbs. finally i decided that i needed to get healthy even if i had to do it without him. i encouraged him to eat better, but i wasn't going to force him. i lost about 20 lbs and he finally decided that he wanted to be healthy too. so starting new years he started eating a lot better and exercising. he lost 30 lbs in a little under 2 months. i still have about 5-10 more lbs to lose before i'll be at my starting weight.
i'm really grateful that he decided to take better care of himself. its not something that you can force people to do, its a decision they have to make for themselves. a little encouragement and some information about the benefits of eating better never hurt, but its ultimately their choice. i'm just hopefull that my boyfriend will be able to avoid all the health problems that his father went through and that we will live a long healthy life together.
Yeah, been there, done that, gotten the tee shirt, as it were. It's not unreasonable for your SO to ask you to change some habits for them if they're worried. But the fact that they ask, and how they ask, can determine your reaction. My ex, bless his workout-obsessed heart, told me flat out that he wouldn't consider being with me if I didn't shape up. It was his blunt way of doing things.
It hurt, but in the end I did it. I'm still doing it, so as you see it wasn't for him after all. But feelings should be used to spare everyone involved from hurt if you care at all how it would affect them.
I think it's perfectly fine suggesting that your SO eat differently, as long as it's because you care about their health. My ex's were all tall and had never known what it was like to need to lose weight, so they ate steaks, fries, pizza, and burgers all the time. I wouldn't tell them to stop, but if I found an article talking about the mental and physical benefits of veggies, I'd talk about it with them. I really only do it because I'm worried that their diets are cutting their lives short, and they know that, so it's never been a problem.
I think I'm being told to cut down my caffeine intake... I'm working on it... mostly because I know I drink too much coffee. So I'm thinking... one cup of regular in the morning... decaf the rest the day. Do I stop all together? no. Mostly because I quit drinking and smoking for the time being... I plan on drinking wine again... eventually. But one thing at a time... caffeine is next.
My husband doesn't tell me how to eat and I don't tell him how to eat. We are both adults. I used to make healthier versions of the foods he likes but I got sick of only eating those things. Then I would make two meals. Of course that is exhausting. So not I cook what I am going to cook and that's it. I love my husband and want his health to be better so I may start making healthy versions of what he likes again.
We both eat the same things, so it's no problem.
But in your case, I believe compromising will help both of you.
New,fresh blog btw
i'm in a boat like yours..i'm also a vegetarian/healthy eater and my boyfriend lives off meat and junk food. it makes it hard for me to eat as healthy as i would like..because he brings bad food into the house.. but at the same time i don't nag him about it, because i know my vegetarianism is a mild inconvenience on him too (e.g. picking a restaurant is always a hassle). he doesn't bother me about my eating habits, so i don't bother him about his.
i know you don't want him to be unhealthy and everything, but honestly he's likely going to do whatever he pleases, so if you keep bringing it up he's just going to keep getting annoyed. i think the best tactic is maybe to get him to exercise with you instead. like get a joint gym membership, or go on hikes together and things. maybe that would encourage him to change his diet as well.
@RazorBladeParade@xanga - She sounds like b*tch, no offense.
I don't have a problem with my SO, except that he eats a lot and thinks I need to eat the same amount as him to make me full. We're both vegetarians, though, so that is a plus.
my boyfriend doesn't eat enough and when he does, it's pretty much processed or fried crap. he's 6"0' and 140 lbs (or less) and it makes me so mad. I'm conscious of what I eat and I can't eat the way he does without gaining weight, or starving (he can go all day without eating until like 8-10 at night... it's ridiculous and unhealthy) I tell him constantly he's always so tired or sluggish because his brain doesn't have enough glucose to function... ugh.
I don't understand it, because both of his parents are health nuts! I don't know where he got his habits from.
whatever. if we get married in the future, it will have to change.
I don't have an SO but in my previous relationships I was never really bothered by my SO eating habits. I ate everything and they did too, and it made us closer lol.
I used to get irritated at my ex for just eating a lot. But at the same time I was happy she ate a lot, because it's much more annoying with a girl who eats nothing.
Not sure, I think you both have to accept the styles of eating for one another or else you'll be dealing with it for the entirety of your relationship. Food is one thing you just can't avoid.
I don't have a SO, but if I were in this situation it would bother me a bit. I'm trying to eat healthy and I'm starting to realize that when you're young with a fast metabolism, you can get away with eating whatever... but as you start to age and keep the habit of eating all junk food, it's going to creep up on you. I would drop suttle hints... it's easier if we both were healthy.
I'm vegetarian too and my boyfriend is not. He doesn't mind it. He tries to help me find things to eat and eats meat less (not because I asked, I would never ask that of a person) now. He likes being healthy anyway though. He hasn't had caffeine in months.
i'm so glad my huns and i have similar eating habits. though there are some things i wouldn't eat, we still are able to dine together and have a good meal.
No. We both make fun of each other when we eat but we love each other's little pudgy stomach. LMFAO.
My boyfriend is a vegetarian and it doesn't bother me at all, he sometimes has to check the menu of places we go out to before we go out to make sure there is food he'll eat there but that's about it....HOWEVER! He isn't scared to eat boxed foods and fried things...he just doesn't eat meat...so it really isn't that much of a hassle.