Monday, 29 March 2010
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Datingish Advice: I Don't Feel Bad About Flirting
In the Datingish Advice section, Brittany says:
I don't know whether it's just me or if this is normal... but I don't feel bad about flirting with other people when I'm dating someone. I feel like, unless I'm in love, there is no point in closing doors, because you never know who/when/where you will meet the love of your life. So even when I am seeing someone, I will flirt with people I am attracted to because... well you just never know.
Thoughts? Do you feel bad about flirting?
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Comments (20)
Hmm. I think flirting can definitely be fun. I mean, I do it every so often. But I wouldn't flirt with someone while I am dating another person. I think it is unfair to that person. I mean, yes, there is always that chance of you finding your one true love by doing so, but why be with the person if you don't see anything happening with it?
I flirt all the time, though I'm only really betraying my hand. And Mildred, my cat. Uch, what's the harm - it's fun, it gets the blood flowing, and who's gonna know, eh?
Check out my dating disasters:
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
flirting is fun, but I always felt guilty... its one of those if u wouldnt want ur s/o to do it then you dont do it...
thats what i think anyways...
@omgiluv_surveys@xanga - What they don't know won't hurt them. ;D
Hmm. ONLY if the person you are 'dating' is aware that you are by no means settling down with them, that you in fact don't love them and that it is semi-casual. You shouldn't go out of your way to hurt someone's feelings - you're with them because you care about them and you at least sort of want to stay with them, right? It just seems weird. You make it sound like you're the kind of person who can't be alone and dates just for that reason.
I hope I never end up dating someone with that mentality.
my boyfriend and i are both naturally flirty. it's just the way we both are. it's fun and meaningless. we never do it if the other is present, but i'm aware he flirts with other girls if he's out at a party and he knows i do the same. i trust him nevertheless, just as much as he trusts me. also, i do love him. i don't think that "being in love with someone" means you can't flirt with someone else. that's dumb, my heart still belongs to my boyfriend no matter what.
i flirt a lot
i wont flirt if i was with someone
Similar question posed on Man-couch about how guys determine single-ness - we don't, we flirt until told to stop...if it ain't got a ring on it well, its fair game....and even still, sometimes!
I tend to date one person at a time, but flirting is something I continue do even when I'm dating. The only time I would attempt to stop all flirtatious activities is when I'm in a relationship. It sounds like a tough order since I tend to act flirtatious when I'm really trying to be friendly.
if you aren't in love and don't see the relationship heading in that direction, to the point that you will still flirt "just in case" why not be single, and flirt "just in case"? it seems a bit better than flirting while dating someone.
I don't agree with Brittany's view on it. But I don't feel bad about flirting for a different reason. I feel as if there are (at least) two types of flirting. Innocent flirting, which is basically just flirting for fun with no purpose behind it, and Hitting on someone type of flirting where you flirt with a goal in mind (usually getting with someone). Innocent flirting is fine to me, and I do it a lot and see nothing wrong with it. Hitting on someone else while in a relationship though is pretty shady.
But saying that if your bf/gf hates the idea of you flirting with someone else you probably shouldn't.
If you aren't dating someone exclusively... and it's clear for both parties, I think it's okay. If you have a SO, I think it's a big no-no.
i don't either but if i'm in a serious relationship with someone, i do stop flirting with other men.
i agree. well, i also don't feel bad flirting even if i'm in love, because after all, it's just flirting.
...and i don't know how not to?
Are you dating or in a "relationship"? I think there's definitely a difference. Just casually dating? Sure, no problem. In a relationship, I'd be PISSED if my SO was doing something like this.
i'm a natural flirt so i don't even realize i'm flirting until someone points it out to me lol but if i do notice i don't normally feel bad. and i'm in a relationship of over two years. it's fun so its okay to do it every once and a while and as long as you dont do anything stupid. i know my limits when i do notice i'm flirting, i usually stop.
why are you flirting if you are already seeing someone? if you don't like the guy then don't date him; flirting with someone else won't make your SO, and others, take you seriously.
@sleepysouthie@xanga - I totally agree with you.
I flirt unconsciously, even when I'm completely in love with someone. It's just something I do. I love to flirt, with guys and girls, and I don't stop even if I try. Sometimes it gets me into trouble, but basically all it means is that I have to find a guy who's okay with my constant flirting -- I never cross certain lines when I'm in a relationship with someone, for instance I never go past just casual flirting, I don't kiss the guy, I don't lead him on. If it gets that far, in my opinion, it's cheating, which I haven't done in a long time and I don't plan on ever doing again. Flirting is great -- I love it, and do it constantly. But when I'm in a relationship, it's just for fun, not for trying to find love outside of the relationship I'm committed to at that moment.