I have been reading all these articles on "Getting your Ex back".
Recently, many of my friends have been going through these break-ups, which has sparked my interest on the many articles and e-books explaining how to get one's ex back.
According to T-dub, on Youtube's "Your first move", he says that you're first move is to agree with the breakup - Don't go crazy with texting, don't freak out, but simply accept the breakup.
There are countless articles of mind-games, flirting tactics, being irresistible, attract without being attractive, hypnosis, and the list goes on and on. But do all these things work or are they all just a bunch of scams?
That gives consumers, like you and I, false hope while taking all our money.
Can love really be bought? Can love really form from saying certain words and acting different parts to win over a person or to win your ex back?
I think it's possible... maybe?
Unfortunately, I haven't been in a relationship long enough to test out some of these theories...
If you have tested out some of these theories, whether it be "Getting Your Ex Back" or "Flirting Tactics" or "Being a Chick Magnet", please enlighten me and many others of your results. Along with which tactic was used, and why the tactic was helpful.
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Comments (44)
Almost anything can be done. I have done thinks that made me sit back and say "how the fuck did I do that"!!!
I think sometimes you shouldn't try to get back with an ex. If it happened it happen. Don't try and make it happen again. It only makes matter worse. I have tried. I have tried to get my ex-boyfriend back many of times and if he is a decent guy then maybe yeahhh, get him back but with me. I date assholes. I don't want them back. They left for a reason. Let it end.
My response to the question/name of this post:
Almost always...
Yes, it can be done. No, it is not worth it. Mmmkay? Yep.
Absolutely, it can be done. You just have to think about whether you really want it to be done, or not.
@B2yan_C@xanga - i agree.
it's not worth all the trouble most of the time.
if you insist on trying, don't wait 234829 years. that is a mistake so many people make.
depends on the situation i think
I read ALL of those articles when dealing with my last break-up. I'd say it worked in that he was definitely interested in me again, but when it came to convenience, another girl was his better option. So, in THAT case, it didn't work. But it's not like I've never gotten back together with an ex before.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it all depends on the circumstances.
@leakingbrainwaves@xanga - I agree with this.
Just give it up and move on.
@B2yan_C@xanga - Agree
i got my ex back.
the thing is, your ex actually has to want you back.i did probably everything wrong, no making him think i was over it, no backing off, etc. it has less to do with what you do and more to do with whether youre right for eachother in the first place.It totally depends on the situation. If it was a toxic relationship then hell no. I'd be lying if we didnt have feelings for someone still after a relationship ends, but to go back is disastrous.
@softaswater@xanga - Exactly.
Whatever will be will be. If it's meant to be. So if you guys were "oh so right for each other," then you will both want to get together again. That's my hope, anyway.
Until then, you work on making yourself happy, so that if it wasn't meant to be, you weren't pining forever. I'm still working on that part.
They have the "ex" prefix for a reason.
I did what everyone told me not to do--you know, be supportive, be his friend, talk to him...etc etc...and I got him back (and I wasn't even trying to get him back in the first place, just wanted him to be happy). And I lost him again. And then he's back again...I'm the one who's a little reluctant now...
But...I think it's not really about what we do to "win" them back, it's whether they want to return.
If you "accept the break up" than you shouldn't want your ex back... Contradictory maybe?
I think that the first move is key to winning an ex boyfriend back. Time apart is necessary. If you want the ex back, you should sit back, focus on yourself asking, "what qualities about me made him feel like he needed to leave?" and then "is it a part of me that I can, and even want to, change?". Focus on yourself for a while. Get back in touch with the person you were before you met, or just how to be solid on your own for a while. Don't keep up constant contact, but be friendly when you see each other. Keep conversations brief and friendly, like seeing an old girlfriend. Don't show him you're depressed or heartbroken, even though you may actually be feeling it. This break is necessary for you to reevaluate yourself and your feelings for him. A new perspective can show you flaws or deeper issues that you didn't realize before, or a big problem that can be fixed.
That's really all that you can do though, is essentially move on in your head. If he still has feelings for you, this mature approach may endear you to him more and he will approach you again. If you act all crazy and start playing mind games, or worse annoy him, he will shut you out for good and won't ever even consider a relationship, even if you do some serious work on yourself and would be perfect together. Once you ruin the perception of you after the breakup, you can't get it back. So, leave him with fond memories, and act mature and in control, like you've moved on. If he likes you, he'll come back. If he really doesn't, well, then you've already made the first step of moving on.
Sometimes it's not even worth trying to get your ex back...
Then again, I wish I knew some of these so called tactics years ago..
Oh wow. My tactic worked pretty perfectly.Â
I cried and cried and begged and begged for two days and he wouldn't change his mind. So I made my mom take my phone away haha. He said he wanted to stay friends, I said okay, but I didn't make any effort to talk to him after that. The last time I talked to him, I asked if I could text him later adn he said "sure, but just as friends". I never texted him back. Then the next week at school, he came back to me, and later asked why I never texted him back that weekend; he was confused. I think sometimes guys just want to feel wanted, don't give them that and they'll realize what they lost quicker.
 Another time we  broke up, MUCH WORSE, I guess he kind of liked someone else for a bit. I did the same thing, no begging, no nothing. But that time I thought it was over. In a way I WANTED it to be over because he hurt me really badly. But I didn't bad mouth him or anything. I simply waited. If he's the right one for you, he will come back without you begging adn crying. If not, he won't and that's just the way it is. He'd probably miss you but if he's not the one he won't voice it to you. If he is the one, he'll come back. No matter what.
 So the real advice, I guess? Don't "try" anything. Maybe flirt with other guys a little (tehe) but not obviously or he'll just get mad. I know this all from experience so hopefully this helps!!My ex messed up baaaad and instantly became completely unattractive to me, but since we have all of the same friends we'd still see each other constantly. I never felt like I got justice since he didn't entirely lose me and I never told our friends the gory details so they didn't throw things at him or realize his douchieness. I was sort of frosty to him for a while, then eventually started to see him like an annoying cousin and treat him as such. I thought about freaking out and telling everyone, but eventually decided a better revenge would be to be forgiving and move on faster than a concord. I figured if I held back my inner crazy girl and tried to be mature about it, he would realize his idiocy for cheating and come crawling back and I would tell him "NO NO NO! TOOOOO BAD! SOOOOO SAD!" with relish. Four months have passed, his girl #2 vanished long ago, and guess who's pining for me again? I've got plenty of relish, but not quite the stadium-size jar that I was anticipating. It's pretty sad actually. Poor annoying cousin boy...
Really, the best revenge is to live good. If you live better ever after him, he will know that he didn't even have the ability to be a real man, he won't admit it, but he knows.
@chocosunshine@xanga - COULDN'T AGREE MORE! that's what i always do, put up a strong front, show him that even without him i can be happy, or happier. ah, but who are we kidding? deep down we know ourselves that we are sooooo damn sad haha.
Haha, I am experiancing this now. I am working to get an ex back and I don't think I am up the creek without a paddle. :D
The one thing I am confused about is a lot of these seem to be about the dumpee trying to get back with the dumper ... are there any with the dumper wanting to get back with the person they dumped?!?!
After the break up, I had more time to work out, worked out my body. Now I'm stunning than his ugly ass girlfriend now =)
Heh, I'm testing this out myself, but like a few others have mentioned, is it worth it?
I don't think getting back into a seriously exclusive thing with my ex would be an idea worth attempting. However, I've been thinking that making progress towards a more open approach may be beneficial (for obvious reasons). We've managed to remain good friends. I actually care about her and her shit. I've actually given her advice about a guy she is/was pursuing after me. I've done the "accept it" thing and have gone after a few interests since. However, I've been stuck on this one time prior to our break-up when she asked if I would ever go for an open relationship. At that point in time, I told her no. However, now when I think about it, I'm beginning to feel I could go for it. Her personality brings out extreme curiousity. I don't know if I'm just desperately stretching my norm to keep her around or if I'm actually learning to accept who she is and habitually wanting to reciprocate it.
Only one way to find out methinks.
you should ask the question should you get your ex back instead of can you? and if that answer is yes, dig a little deeper, and ask should and can they take you back.