Friday, 26 March 2010
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Do You Think It's Inappropriate For a Woman to Propose to Her Man?
I have a friend who has (up until recently) been pretty anti-marriage. Actually, I think maybe she just thought she was anti-marriage, more as a defense mechanism than as an actual ideal. Irregardless of intent, her prior staunch assertions that she would never wed have put her in a conundrum.
See, my friend is actually in a very functional, committed live-in relationship with a man that she would now (surprise!) like to marry. Problem is, he's brought up marriage in the past only to have her vehemently oppose it I think she told him once, prior to a romantic planned vacation, that she would vomit all over him if he attempted to ask for her hand.
Now it looks like she's going to have to get down on one knee herself if she's ever going to make it to the altar. Which begs the questions: Why is it the dude's job to propose?
Apparently, it's not. Engagement101mag.com reports that so many women are popping the question these days, jewelers are stocking up on male engagement rings. Polls conducted as early as 2003 revealed that 31% of all Americans know a women who has proposed to her man. This is positive and not all that surprising, considering we live in a progressive society. Still, I'm not sure proposing marriage is anything I, as a women, would ever do.
Maybe it's my own personal innate idealism. I will cop to supporting some old time traditions. For instance, I fully intend, if I marry, to take my husband's last name. Or maybe it's just plain cowardice. Not sure I have the gusto to make myself that vulnerable. Whatever the reason, I think I will stick to tradition and just hope, pray and hint my way to a ring.
What about you? Ladies, would you ever propose to your SO? Men, would be comfortable if your girlfriend proposed to you?
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Comments (70)
If I really loved my girlfriend and she had proposed to me, I would probably say yes, but it would certainly bother me. It's not that I think woman aren't equal to men, I just feel that a man should take the leading role in a relationship.
I wouldn't do it.
I would not be opposed to this. In fact, in this crazy, "I don't believe in marriage," society, I'd almost prefer it. I've pretty much exclusively dated these types of ladies anyways, so if they were to propose to me, it'd mean that much more.
I think I could only be with a guy if he wouldn't have a problem with me being the one who proposed, so of course I'd propose! I don't see why not. Maybe I'd worry a little that I'd ruin his planned proposal, but then, if he was going to date me, Ms. "Why Should My Genitals Dictate My Role in the Relationship?", he would be aware that that would be a possibility.
I like the idea but I would love/prefer to get asked.
The one thing I dont like is when women leave because they dont get purposed to. Communication, people. Sometimes bringing up the idea of marriage gets the ball rolling. Sometimes a guy may feel one way but may be worried about saying it or potentially ruining what they feel is a good relationship.
So like if you're out & you see something you like for a house, say something like "oh when we get married, I'd love this couch for our living room". Depending on his reaction, you'll know whether to toss the fish back or not.
Personally, I'm not opposed to it but I probably wouldn't take it seriously, like it were a joke, but thats me.
But I'm sure some men out there could even feel pressured or think he's a push over/whipped or even she's pregnant, "Why, what did you do?"
I'd stick to the old ways. For me, it's the guy's role to propose and not the other way around.
YES! its ok, but usually the guys are the one that get the cold feet even if they do propose so if they aren't completely sure, the lady might get rejected. But personally no, i don't like the idea of marriage, and neither does my mom, so i wouldnt be the one leaping to get to the alter.
I would be comfortable if my SO proposed to me.
I'm sure it happens all the time. I think many marriages have no actual "formal storybook proposal" anyway.
I don't see a problem with women proposing. And let's keep in mind that not all women are heterosexual after all so there are bi/pan/gay women who have proposed to their sweethearts. How the hell does a man fit in that equation, huh? :P
I'm not sure I would do it, because I'm a coward lol. But I do have a friend who did, and they have their wedding date set. :)
I don't have a girlfriend.
If I had a girlfriend and she believe it was her to asked and propose to me I would be fine with it.
I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with this, but I personally wouldn't want to. I like the traditional, even if I don't have reason behind that.
I actually did propose to my SO
I wouldn't care if someone called it inappropriate....
Whats wrong with that? Hoewver, some men get offended-ish/prefer it to be the other way around so..
but in her case i think its a nice surprise :)
That seems so weird to me, I'd never ever do it. I'm all for equality in the relationship, but there are just some traditional aspects of relationships that I believe should stay as they used to be. I mean, a man wearing an engagement ring and the woman not seems just a little strange, don't you think? I'm sure some people are cool with the idea, and that's fine. It just depends on the person, but personally I could never be comfortable with that idea. I much prefer to be romanced and propsed to.
Do as you please, but you'd never catch me doing it.
Or she could just tell him her feelings have changed.
Nooooooooooooo, not that dreaded word "irregardless"!
I wouldn't do it, but I also don't see anything wrong with a woman asking.
No way. I would never propose to a dude. If he never asks her again, well, she missed her chance. Hopefully he knows her well enough to try again, otherwise, she could hint around that she's ready to say yes and maybe he'll get it.
I'm reminded of the "Friends" episode when Phoebe proposed to her man in front of an entire stadium. :3
IRREGARDLESS does not exist.
I really dont know or think there's anything wrong with it, even though I've never heard of anyone doing that. But I wouldnt do it though, I'll just stick to the traditional way...