I have heard countless guys (and girls) say that their SO is/was too clingy and/or needy. According to my ex, I was needy. Considering the only thing I would ask is for us to do something I wanted to do for a change, as we went to the gun store for hours at a time. I may have asked him to stop at the gas station that's on the way to my house every once in awhile if I needed to pick something up.
I would also ask him to drive me to my birth control appointments that I had every 3 months, since he & his dad asked me to get on it. I hate doctors, and would NOT sit there by myself. It's awkward. He only had to take me twice while we were dating, and he took me once after we broke up because I had no other way to get there. As far as I know, he never minded doing that for me. He got a trip to the gun store since it was down the street from Planned Parenthood, and we usually stopped at Dairy Queen after. Two of his favorite things, ice cream and guns, & sex when we got back to his house. So three things.
As for the clingy part? That was definitely him. He insisted on seeing me every day possible, which I didn't mind. But if I said that I didn't feel good to the point I was throwing up or had a horrible migraine, he would beg me until I agreed to see him, claiming that he would take care of me. His version of taking care of me, however, included giving me a glass of water and a couple of Advils, and then he usually either played his video games, sit and work on building a computer or we'd go to the gun store, or we'd watch some show having to do with guns. None of these things I like to do when I'm feeling like crap.
I don't think I'm needy, or particularly clingy. I don't text or call the guy 24/7, nor do I insist on seeing him every day though I wouldn't mind it, but I would like to have a day to myself every now and then.
So, in your opinion, what classifies someone as needy or clingy?
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Comments (18)
Someone who depends on me more than I would like them to depend on me.
I think that goes for anyone, really. Some people are into getting phone calls twice a day everyday, some people aren't.
well,
she gets mad every time I go to my room (of course she never wants to come with me) claiming I don't want to spend time with her
she demands that I do everything with her
she threatens to break up when I say I want to hang out with my family
she tells me she's more important than my friends
to me, that is clingy/needy
I think it's needy when one or the other person feels like they arn't meeting the others needs, then they call the other person needy so they don't feel guilty that they arn't good enough.
The fact that they won't gtfo out my face.
if they don't give you alone time
I met a girl online recently who seemed rather attractive at first. She told me that guys she had dated weren't interested in spending quality time with her, talking to her, doing stuff she liked, etc. so she just did what they wanted and then they broke up with her. I figured she had just dated a bad group of guys, but then...
After a few days of talking online and twice on the phone she began to call me pet names, text me "good morning" every morning way before I woke up for class, text me almost every hour, and complain when I didn't flirt with her.
I can take a lot of affection, but this was too much, especially since we hadn't even met in person yet. I was interested in going on a date with her next week, but after I told her that she got super clingy/overly affectionate like we had been dating for 3 years or something.
If you start a text conversation and the other person finishes it. Then you start another and they finish it. Start one more and you're clingy.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/ - dating blog
I think your ex was just not nice.
If your calling me everyday and we've only been talking for a week.If you text me every hour of the day. If your over complimenting me. If you insist on calling me every night to say goodnight and we've not even started officially dating yet. If you sending me songs that remind you of me, after one week :SIf you're always wanting to hang out or being over affectionate ^^. I'm a really independent person. I NEED my space.
my clingy/neediness depends on my moodswings honestly.. which depends on what goes on in my life... but otherwise my relationship is pretty indep. except for the random moodswings where i wish he would do something special every once in a while. :(
To me... a need is just something you want. If you want something that bad... go for it.
To need is natural. Everything in moderation... even moderation 
haha!
however. i'magunna be needin some good lovin... soooo imabe needin a hug! and I may grab some ace! haha! well... if that's ok. I don't wanna grab somethin that doesn't wanna be grabbed n'what not.
So for Needy and Clingy... Need and Cling to the things you want... but allow them to be released from that every once and a while so they can need and cling you back.
*mua*
you're ex just sounded like a jerk who needs to go look up the word "clingy" or "needy" in the dictionary before he throws it around in the wrong sentences like that.
I think clingy is like when you are OTP with them 24/7 in one way or another.okay maybe not 24/7 there has to be sleeping time and together time, beside that if they are on the phone lal the other time, thats kinda clingy in my eyes
You're not clingy.
I'm like lil_fire_bella, I need my space. Although, I think everyone has their moments where they can be clingy. Anyway, don't let what he said bother you; it sounds like he doesn't know what he's talking about.
Oooh, I know, I'm clingy AND needy (and I hate this about myself). Let's see, if I text or call, I expect a damn near immediate response, my bf sure as hell better talk to me when I want/(think) that I need him to... Hmm, of course I want to spend EVERY waking minute with him, unless I'm irritated with him, then I just ignore him so he'll know what it's like to feel like I don't care...
Oh yeah, if you want to know if you're clingy just ask me, it takes one to know one and I soooo am one.
@kuro_kokoro@xanga - I'm thinking mine does too..There are days when I'm feeling kinda depressed & just want somebody there. I liked being around him, but when it came down to me having to change plans because he wanted me with him instead of my friends, it was annoying..
Though at this point I'd deal with anything.. I miss him =(
Good thing he is an ex. The sort of behaviour that you are describing only gets worse with the longevity of a relationship. Then add marriage and kids into the picture and you may as well be wearing ankle chains.
clingy to me is when the person thinks/believes/acts like they are the only person in the world besides the object of their affection.
my boyfriend and i live together, but we both like spending as much time as possible together anyway. we usually text during the day, throughout the day, but not a constant convo all day long. just a few texts here and there or i might send more just to be annoying or remind him of things or find out when he'll be home so i can make sure i'm home by then. we run errands together. we play together. we go to parties together...but we aren't clingy. we have other things to do during the day and other friends to see/talk to etc.
I asked my man once if being in contact with each other almost practically everyday made me seem clingy. He said that he enjoyed hearing from me, that the highlight at the end of his hectic day was seeing me and spending time with me, so therefore no, I wasn't being clingy.
I guess what makes a person clingy is either if that person insists on more contact than the other is comfortable with and goes ballistic if there is less contact than wanted, or if the other person simply doesn't enjoy contact with the person.
My ex accused me of being clingy, sometihing that makes me stop and think. He used to bombard me with plenty of attention and little statements about the future which although I made it clear I found it appealing I also took with a pinch of salt (that was clear too). He was always the one who texted me first which I would reply back, the one who would go thru my network profiles liking my pics and statements. There was time I came back home late from work and he went out in the street looking for me. In return I would be the one practically mothering him and teaching him the skills of being in a relationship as apparently I was his first proper girlfriend.
Then all of a sudden when we had our first lovers arguments which teetled on my insecure side and also the fact that he kept in regular contact with his admirers (uh, not something all of us can accept) he bloacked all contact from me. So whatever was built in the happiness we had went down the toilet down from his choice-I suppose me establishing and trying to work things thru was interpretated as clingy. I didnt bombard him with calls - most of our correspondance was actually repremanding him for not making up his mind on the relationship rather than begging for a reconciliation. It got to the point where I said some pretty harsh stuff to conflict with his uncertainty and sudden change of heart so the blame was reflected back on me big time. I still am trying to get on with my own life now and it's very very hard but theres no point in loving someone who can never love you back the way you wanted them to and that they will never be able to again.
My advise to those in a break up? Its pretty much calling the pot calling the kettle black but always make sure that the first to know about the cracks is your other half and discuss, don't argue on how to come to a comprimise, regardless of how minor the matter may be. It's not your friends or family or counsellor dating but the both of you and and you owe it to each other to be honest and open if you really love and respect each other. They say if its not meant to be, it's not meant to be-old words and kinda true but if there's a better solution which is usually gut felt and the little voice of reason in your head always stop and think instead of the pole guiding your bum to do silly things and actions. Anger is never the best solution, especially to those who dont deserve it, including and especially yourself. Although it's difficult no communication unless they intiate it (and timing is v.important here-not too immediate but never too late in your reponse) is strongly advised-have a wide network of friends to make sure you don't touch that damn phone or network.
I'm no angel and admit that I have handled the break up pretty badly and the pieces thats I'm picking up will take a long time to gather. But always remember it does take two. As for your ex? they know you care, but decide not to themselves. If you make it clear, any ego you deflated during the busat up will only make themselves feel better about what they have done, and belittle you. Hence the term needy/clingy. You are worth so much more if you beleive in something so little.