Wednesday, 24 March 2010
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Keep the Faith, Nice Guys!
"Nice guys finish last." Sound familiar? Having guy friends that are quote on quote "nice guys" myself, I admit this statement is true. But is it a bad thing?
One of my good guy friends suffered his first breakup recently. He was devastated, and he told me that he couldn't compare with the new guy his ex was seeing. That got me thinking, here is this great guy, if he can't keep the girl of his dreams, who can? He has all the characteristics of the perfect guy: caring, one hundred percent faithful, a good listener, a wonderful friend, a great son and big brother, and as a huge additional plus, he can cook. Then it hit me. He might not have the girl right now, but he’s going to make some lucky girl out there the happiest girl in the world in the future.Another nice guy confided in me that he was tired of seeing all these awful guys dating awesome girls. He then told me that he was thinking about changing so he could get a chance with a nice girl. Mortified, I quickly talked him out of his temporary insanity. I told him, "Why change if you’re already great the way you are? Those guys are the ones that need to change, and the girl on his arm right now will soon realize that. She probably doesn’t think that she has a chance with a guy like you right now."
So to all you nice guys out there, never fear. There is a nice girl for you out there. Yes, you might have to wait awhile, but I can assure you, it will be worth it.
Would you ever change your personality just to get the girl?
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- From: sharealynn
- About Me: hellooooo! my friends call me cher and i love pandas.
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Comments (91)
Why aren't you dating this "nice guy"? Self defeating?
"He might not have the girl right now, but he’s going to make some
lucky girl out there the happiest girl in the world in the future."
I've heard that line a zillion times-I don't know if I really buy it or not but I have seen a lot of girls marry the nice guy
I agree. Both nice guys and nice girls feel like they get screwed out for the other ones. I'm a nice girl, not to sound stupid about saying it, but I am, and I feel like I'm always getting screwed over. It's not always as common but people take way too much advantage of good people. So yes, nice guys, hold on! There are nice girls out there who want you!
There are the girls who don't know what they want and then there are the ones who do. Those who do know will put their foot down and book it out of the relationship if the guy treats her like crap. The ones who don't will stay in fear of being alone, even though the nice guy will be there to pick her back up (even as just a friend who cares).
@dragon_king@xanga - It's kind of ike hearing "you'll find a girl someday". It may be true, but I don't know anyone who's so patient about waiting for their match or ofr love of any kind. That's why I believe it less by the mention.
@schallerbrandon@xanga - Haha!
Oh boy. It's The Beatles Vs. Buckcherry all over again. All I have to say is: "waste not, want not." If you don't want it, someone else will.
I just had this conversation with a friend (:
I couldn't agree more :D
@schallerbrandon@xanga - +1.
Nice guys are not the same as good guys. If you're a self-proclaimed "nice guy" who is doing it to get the girl, you're no better than the alleged "jerks" out there - your goal is the same but your means are different.
I applaud your enthusiasm even though it's entirely unrealistic. However to your question. No. I would change my personality to get a woman. If I didn't how I am why would anyone like a fake me. If your not a complete person by yourself, you'll never to complete with anyone else.
Where the hell are all these nice guys!?!? SERIOUSLY!
Never change who you are to get someone else. It will never be worth it, that's my opinion.
It's better to just wait for the one person that can accept you as you are as opposed to having to change yourself for someone who may not be right for you in general!
>.< time will tell me if it happens.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - Nice Guys don't usually proclaim, if they do yes they are using it as a means to an end. Nonetheless, if it is a true nice guy his end would be love and marriage. Jerks usually wish for sexual contact or just not to be made fun by his guy friends.
@chanchina@xanga - Come to think of it, you don't need to proclaim it in order to use it as a means to an end.
Caring? Faithful? A good listener? Sounds like a bit of a push-over.
That's not what girls want. Nice guys don't finish last. Wimpy losers do. These good boys can still treat a girl well while still maintaining a confident and outgoing character. We're men for a reason. If women wanted somebody to be friendly and heartfelt all the time, they'd date other women. Break ups happen to everybody- good guy or bad guy. It's obviously no fun but life goes on. It's not the end of the world and it's not just because you're a 'nice guy'.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - true. But it other for the guy to be nice, we need to understand his true motive. If it is just for sex, then he's just a jerk in disguise.
All animals have ways to attract the opposite sex. Peacocks and their beautiful long feathers. Lions and their strength. Whether it be Nice or an Asshole. It is used to attract certain females.
@Super_Andy@xanga - You're right, girls don't want a guy that is caring, faithful, and a good listener.
Women want those kind of men.
You can be strong and all of those traits. In fact, a good SO is all of those.
Girls want the boy that's gonna treat them wrong. "Good girls want the bad boy that will set them free and the bad boy wants the good girl he can be himself with."
I get the gist of what you were trying to get across, though.
I keep hearing about these "nice guys", but I'm not meeting any...haha. I know that they're out there, though. I'm just afraid of most of them being undercover assholes. I have been with one guy, and he was actually considered a "nice guy", but then he turned out to be a major douchebag. Soo, yeah...I'm still waiting for the REAL nice guys. I don't appreciate being lied to.
Oh my god. I almost can't help but smash my head against a wall.
Look, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING NICE. Got it? Jesus tap-dancing Christ, I'm pretty sure a "Nice guy/Nice girl" article comes out like once a month and it's the SAME thing every time.
If someone is nice, that's awesome. Nice people always get dates. You know who doesn't get dates? People who are nice... but are also shy, awkward, have low confidence, and no ambition to change that. Most so-called "nice guys" are probably really cool, but the ones who bitch about it are normally the ones without the balls to approach a girl. This is the same, if not more true, for girls since some have this outdated concept that guys should always do the pursuing.
I vote Datingish boycott these "Nice people finish last" articles for at least a three month period.
@mcmeister89@mancouch - This guy knows what's what.
This is a proverbial carrot-on-a-stick put out in front of guys just to keep them going, keep them doing things, keep them working, dreaming, give them an inkling that they might still have some chance, in spite of all signs to the contrary, keep them motivated...lest they do something drastic.
It's a lie.
If girls REALLY cared about nice guys, or guys in general, there wouldn't be all these lonely, frustrated, despairing guys around, the whole thing wouldn't be happening.
The ball's actually in the girl's court...to put your hearts where your mouth is, finally.
everybody changes, a nice guy today can be a psychopath tomorrow, and a jerk can learn to show some respect. Its true being true to yourself is important, but what are the odds the person you fall for is gonna love you for who you really are, and thats even if they are who you think they are. My point is if its not working out for you, why not change the rules?
"He might not have the girl right now, but
he’s going to make some
lucky girl out there the happiest girl in
the world in the future." - My advice is never tell your nice guy friends this. Because it just makes them feel worthless. Promises of a future don;t do much until it's actually in the present. It's like how moms always say "ah you're so handsome..." yet no girl ever looks your way. You begin to second guess that statement heh.
lies and propaganda
I found a nice/nerdy guy..I don't say that..that really. But i'm lucky..too lucky!
You can be nice and get still get girls. But if you're SHY- then you aint got nothing.
It's not "quote on quote," it's "quote unquote." And ultimately, it is redundant since this is written and following your "quote on quote" you have actual quotation marks.
there isn't anything wrong with these "nice guys" personality as far as being caring, faithful, etc, but the harsh truth just might be that she isn't sexually attracted to him. sex isn't everything but there has to be at least some physical attraction.