Sunday, 21 March 2010
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5 Simple Questions to Ask Yourself on the Quest for Love
Lets face it, finding the "one" is the most important and difficult journey we all attempt to partake in during our lifetime.Yet, we cannot ignore the blatant statistics and rampant unhappiness around us. These things undoubtedly point to the fact that we suck at attempting to find who we want to spend the rest of our lives with. People suck at choosing the right person for them. We are awful. Maybe that's why arranged marriages flourished for so long. Because people suck at it so much we might as well just leave it to chance.
Anyway, back to my main point, people are terrible at finding someone that they think they might possibly want to spend the rest of their life with. Now I am not talking about finding true love, (let's not get carried away) or finding the "one" (not that I don't believe in true love because I do).
I am simply talking about attempting to weed out the millions of people around you, and allow you to find that one person who you will still be happy waking up next to, in fifty years. Hell, maybe it will help you find that one person that will make you happy for a single year (for those fickle and afraid of commitment people out there). Hell, how about finding that one person to randomly have a "good time" with every once in awhile (create your own interpretation of whatever a "good time" for you might actually mean.)
Which brings me to my ultimate point. People if you ask yourself and be honest about these five very simple and to the point questions you might save yourself a whole bunch of grief and agony. If he or she fails any one of these questions you probably should not be pursuing this man or woman:
1. Does he or she respect you?
Does he treat you like the princess that you undoubtedly are? Does he care and respect you as a lady? Will he be there for you when you need him most?
2. Does he or she respect random people around you?
Restaurants are the best way to check this. How does he interact with strangers? Is he hesitant, is he forward, is he courteous? This is the number one indicator of his true character. If he treats them like a piece of shit, than he probably is, in fact, a piece of shit.
3. Does he respect himself or herself?
How does he treat himself? Is he successful? Does he have a drive to improve himself? Does he hate failure?
4. Finally how much do you want to jump his bones?
Although it is second to last, this question is still very important. Most people just ask themselves this questions without asking the others first. Then they enter into a long and terrible relationship that would have been saved if they would have just asked the first 3 questions.
5. How much does he or she want to jump your bones?
If he thinks you are an ugly baboon and wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole... You probably are wasting your time... maybe.
If he fails any of these questions, its quite frankly not going to work.
Do you agree with my questions? If you don't you should post your own questions. Or maybe if your thinking about pursuing someone run this test and answer the 5 questions!
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About the Author
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- From: Prof_Padula@xanga
- Name: Anthony
- About Me: History Teacher
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Comments (21)
1. Yes, he does.
2. With respect. This is the guy who holds open doors, thanks everyone, and helps little old ladies he doesn't know with their groceries.
3. That, too.
4. A lot.
5. I don't have a clue. And therein lies my problems.
tbh this just made me think now
Good advice.
This seems like a "duh" post to me.
@radicalsounds@xanga - it may seem like a duh post, but alot of people are dumb enough to forget these things.
remember that saying?
"if its called common sense, then why is it that 90% of mankind lack it?" xD
but It's so hard to be rational all the time ...especially when you have intense feelings for the other person,,,
@SamBarger@xanga - lol. True. Sad, but true.
@pure_dasani@xanga - true. My common sense gets thrown out the window with whomever I"m infatuated with at the moment
@pure_dasani@xanga - i totally agree.
What about the question, could you stand to live with the person day in and day out the rest of your life?
@pure_dasani@xanga - I totally agree with you.
Does this person's core beliefs (i.e. religious beliefs, political beliefs, etc) and long-term goals (i.e. kids or no kids?, where do you want to live in the future) match with yours?
i like this post. good questions.
but sometimes ppl correctly answer all the questions and realize the other person has such nasty habits that they can't get over.
i think those questions PLUS being able to overlook their flaws make them an A-OK candidate for you. but i'm supposing the flaws will be revealed in time and then again you can examine the situation.
i think they're pretty valid. maybe not the only ones that should be asked, but they certainly are important at the basest level.
agreed.
i hate this . .. when a nice looking guy who has a great job and just got his inheritance and is about to retire . . .SUCKS IN BED. He sucks at kissing. he sucks at sex . . it's HORRIBLE. so i just want him as a friend. . .but he is super super catholic . . and kind of a perv. . .so yuck i refuse to marry him. i finally had to tell him we just didn't have the "thing" that makes for good loving. He freaks and starts to yell at me and says over and over that i have "demons." reallly . .im very nice . . .i just dont want to marry this guy . . .his touch repulses me . . .and he thinks he's better than other people because he is catholic. and white. and rich. ugggs. being catholic does not make you automatically into a good person . . .and it definately doesn't make you into a good lover. now he says . . .we should have waited until we were married to have sex . . .but that would have been a total hellish nightmare . . .wouldn't it be horrible to marry a guy who sucks in bed and tells you that you have demons if you dont want to have sex with him? laugh people . .but it's true. HE SUCKS. that's the end of it. I can't take it anymore. I will find someone else . . .he's a FREAK.
Question number two is a very good one. Lots of girls end up falling for douchey guys because "he's nice to me!" No, he's got to be nice to other people as well. That's one of my main areas of failure - finding guys who are genuinely kind to random strangers. They're not common, especially at my age. I believe question number two is numbered correctly in that it's a very close second to question number one. But question one is slightly more obvious; question two is the one that falls through the cracks. Nice work with this list - well done.
"If he treats them like a piece of shit, than he probably is, in fact, a piece of shit."
"If he thinks you are an ugly baboon and wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole... You probably are wasting your time... maybe."
- LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLll!!!!!!
@pure_dasani@xanga - very true!
@clashofclass - LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!! WOW.
@faoiXrun@xanga - no.. .im not an ugly baboon . . .im beautiful, talented, and educated. I am a bit insecure . . .but no . . .not ugly. keeping guys away is a problem. let's be nice on here, ok? no calling people names or being rude.
#2 is very good. In my experience, the people who are rude to waiters and janitors and people who work minimum wage jobs will eventually treat you exactly the same way when they are no longer trying to impress you. And even if they don't, it's embarrassing to be with someone who is rude to others.