Sunday, 21 March 2010

  • Guys Suck, Girls Blow


    Don't get me wrong, I am one of those "bitches" who are also commonly referred to as adolescent females. We, as girls, tend to criticize the other gender, always seeing what is wrong with them. However, we should take a look at our own bad tendencies and we might realize why we frustrate the other gender so much. (P.S. This is a joke, don't take it too seriously please)

    Here is my take on our gender differences:

    WOMEN:

    "Ohmygosh, I, like, didn't know that Julianna and Bartholomew were going out, that is like, totally not cool."

    MEN:

    "Dude, YESSS! The Saints won the Super Bowl!"

    WOMEN:

    Would buy that new season's dress from Nordstrom for ten times more than it should be worth.

    MEN:

    Would walk around in the same shirt for days until their wife (or mother) tells them to actually get it washed.

    WOMEN:

    Will always need to be prepped and prim with nice shoes and makeup whether she goes to the mall, out for dinner, to the doctor, to empty the garbage, to cook a meal, to answer the phone.

    MEN:

    Will dress up for a wedding or a funeral... maybe.

    WOMEN:

    Always manages to stick her two cents into an argument and always has the last word.

    MEN:

    Whatever word they utter turns into a new argument.

    WOMEN:

    Over-think everything.

    MEN:

    Who knew that if you don't text your girlfriend for an hour, she assumes that you're cheating on her?

    WOMEN:

    Assume that if a man flirts with them, he is attracted to her and wishes to spend the rest of his life with her.

    MEN:

    Mmmm..... boobies.......

    WOMEN:

    Considers herself fat if she's above 130 lbs.

    MEN:

    Considers himself fit and athletic even if he's over 200 lbs.

    WOMEN:

    Say one thing but mean another.

    MEN:

    Hear, but don't listen.

    WOMEN:

    Eating chocolate is like putting on a second pair of hips.

    MEN:

    Chocolate is another snack.

    WOMEN:

    Women: damsels in distress.

    MEN:

    Women: human species that go through meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma whether they're PMSing or not.


    Dear Reader,
    What other Battle of the Sexes jokes or opinions do you have?

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