Ever wondered if you were being cheated on? Suspected it? I have to admit that even I have suspected my partner of cheating, and I've been cheated on in the past - there are a few signs that can possibly indicate that your SO is a cheatin' fool!
Sign Number 1: Sudden Schedule ChangesIf your partner suddenly changes their schedule and fumbles around explaining the reason why - he may be a cheater. Unexcused answers for not answering the phone, says he's "working late" or constantly in a "meeting" at 10PM, or flat out can't tell you where he is - red flag? I think so.
Sign Number 2: Suddenly UnaffectionateNow its normal to not be affectionate ALL the time, but if your partner strangely just doesn't want to show you any affection, perhaps that is a sign that there's something fishy going on. From first hand experience I can tell you that this suspicion is the one I went off of to catch my last partner cheating.
Sign Number 3: Call Logs / Text Messages Constantly ErasedFor those of us who share a home phone or generally use each others phones interchangeably, this is a sure fire way to find out if your partner is cheating. Noticing that all your partner's text messages have been cleared prior to them handing over the phone, or you notice the call history on your caller ID is being cleared constantly - definitely a red flag in my book.
I'm sure there are several other signs out there that your partner is cheating, but have any of these signs rang true in catching your partner cheating?
Comments (34)
Number two is the quickest and sure-fire way of determining for me.
Thanks for the negro shout-out, via the article picture.
Of course we love cheating with brunette-haired white women.
What can I say? It's a fetish.
I'd say #2 is a definite. The others? Not so much. My husband and I both have cellphones with not a whole lot of memory, so we're constantly clearing out texts so that we are able to actually receive more. And IDK about #1. It could be a sign of cheating, or there could be a very good explanation (like work leading up to a promotion or a big project, etc.).
@Simply_Cynical@xanga - haha that's funny. My boyfriend is black and cheated on me, and I'm a brunette white woman...what do we make of that??? haha
Anyway...I had no signs at all that it happened. He told me, that's how I knew. Pretty much blindsided, felt like a brick in the face! Good times. Still in the period where I'm not sure I can forgive him.
The unaffection, I can understand. The rest aren't necessarily red flags. The most surefire way to find out whether a partner is cheating- just ask.
If you're unsure and they say no, take it at face value for a while. Not a long time, just enough time to feel more concretely about it. Whether they're cheating or not, the fact that you suspected they were should make whatever problems there could have been come out into the open, whether they were cheating or whether they just weren't feeling the love from you (people be crazy at times). Then you deal with the problems. If they want to go underground with the cheating, you'd still feel some little prickling of doubt, and at that point, I'd leave. Because, cliche as it is, everyone deserves better.
If you're sure and they say no, they just lie as well as cheat. And if they say yes- you know what to do.
if i were to cheat on someone (which i would never), i'd get another phone line and hide it like it's nobody's business. open new phone line -> go paperless billings.. you're set.
All my guys have left me for other women. I end up just having a gut feeling.
Yeah...your list is pretty good.
My last guy had none of these signs in fact he became much more affectionate and romantic. I found out cause he told me, all of his nice gestures were out of guilt from cheating. From that I've learned that there aren't any sure fire signs it really depends on the person and how well you know them.
id say number 1 and 3. not sure about number 3 :/
Look out for sudden presents. I mean not to freak people out because some guys will give nice "just because" things, but jewelry & what not? That's a bit of a sign.
Also, if they're more guarded about their phones, computers & jobs (like saying you cant stop by or something), that's a sign too.
people tend to be more defensive when cheating. and number 2 is one of the few signs that something is not right. but dont jump to conclusions too soon.
these are all very true.
not wanting you around at certain times or certain places, and not being able to give a solid answer of why not. having that suspicious "friend". being overly sweet after ignoring you for a while.
you may not look much into just one sign by itself, but if they start piling up, that's a pretty damn good indicator, trust me.
I just did a google search and this list came up: http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscheating/0,,nt4p-p,00.html It seems like my bf does a lot of these. It's kinda scary how close to home it hits.
But my head just keeps telling me, "It's a coincidence." Or, "That's just the way he is." My heart knows the truth. :(
While they're all good signs, none of them are concrete proof. I've done all three and never cheated on anyone before.
omg! thats what hapened to me!!
i dont know if she was cheating on me....
but all of a sudden she stopped toushing me, and didnt want to kiss me anymore! when i asked what was up she said " i dont feel comfortable doin this" WTF!?
and the texts?!!? OMMGGG she would always hide her phone, and if i picked up her phone, she would freak out, grab it, then delete all her texts ALL THE TIME
i told her what i thougth and she got ANGRY at me for asking. saying i was childish
but seriously? i had good reason to be worried. she broke up with me two months later.....
*sigh* people are retarted....
@Simply_Cynical@xanga - ....hi :)
Ametures. These people want you get caught. Cheating is easy. One night stand, fake number- no evidence. For the long term just individually erase the texts from the other person, leaving texts/phone calls from friends and family. For fuck's sake people.
Also, only cheat on the time you have previously scheduled too. You know, plant the seed a few weeks before hand by saying "I have a feeling the boss is going to give me overtime again. I fucking hate this" or "Me and my friends want to have a girls/boys camping trip in a week. I don't know if I really want to go but I feel obligated.." as long as you sound like the time spent away from your partner is miserable they will stay in ignorant bliss.
as someone that is constantly in meetings for different organizations, i don't think one necessarily is an indicator. my boyfriend understands if i have a change in schedule that means i can't make it home for dinner at 6 but i'll bring take out at 730 to make up for it. and often times, i wont come back in the same clothes i was wearing earlier-- it doesn't mean cheating is going on. if your type-a like me some of the time its just being a work a holic. with 2. affection i think can be a clear indicator. if he is always tired or just goes from being lovey-lovey then it can indicate a change. and 3. idk if i'd ever want to go through a SO's phone just because i don't want to know if it is going on and that is the BEST way to find out. i feel like 3 is the tell-tale that he's doing something other than planning a stellar surprise birthday party.
@Morningstarrising@xanga - I'd say it's a sign of cheating. If he has work, what's the problem with just telling me he'll be at the office or that he has work? It's definitely suspicious if he won't just tell you where he'll be.
i think you're a little bit paranoid. Deleting your texts? I do that regularly because i dont like seeing them in my phone. Schedule Change? people are consistent for their entire life. As for number 2 just because they dont like you that doesnt mean they like someone else. Maybe you are just doing something to turn them off
@kairi_kawaii@xanga - Maybe I am a little more understanding than others because part of my husband's job is top secret and he can't always tell me where he is or where he is going to be.... however, he can tell me he's at work.. But it sounded in the original post like the guy WAS telling his gf that he was at work and she just didn't believe him. As for my own situation, my husband's hours change.... often. One day he can work 5am-4pm. The same night he can go back in at 11pm-6am, and that's just how it is. People who think that work hours should only be 9-5 are totally delusional, and I don't think that it's a sign of cheating. Some people are just super paranoid about everything.... that wont' get you far in a real relationship if you aren't willing to trust your SO.
If I was in a relationship with a woman I would not cheat on her.
Their are very secretive when it comes to text messages, emails, social websites (like Facebook, Twitter etc) or sudden have visited websites their normally would not visit.
I know absolutely 100 percent that I'm not being cheated on. Why? Because I spy. :) That's why. ANNND I've been given permission to. That's the best part. Honestly, I think that it's totally freeing in a relationship.
We have rules, number one that he doesn't go out and spend time with any female (sept his mother/ my mother lol) alone, and vise versa. ANNND, he gives me full persmission to go through his stuff, etc... :) IT's great. I don't do it very often, and whenever I do, I find nothing but affection for me
Honestly? I think anyone who's not WILLING to let the other person go through things is hiding something. We're open books.