After the wreckage of a failed relationship, you try to put together the pieces of what was once a complete being. Often, we look back with regret, bitterness, anger or a combination of the three. In spite of those dark clouds casting long shadows in our lives, we have to look for the silver lining.
If not, at the very least we have to learn from our mistakes. This currently is my shortlist.
1.
Avoid the taken. I'll admit it: I wanted most what I couldn't have. If you go for something you can't have, well, the consequences are obvious.
2.
Avoid the broken. I should add that I specifically mean "the broken-and-don't-want-to-be-fixed." Need I say more?
3.
Be careful with friends. This is probably obvious to everyone -- except me. Once a person has placed you in their "friend" zone, it's tough to get out and move into their "boyfriend" zone. So basically you need to tread carefully and figure out if she's into you or otherwise you're in for a world of disappointment.
What are the lesson's you've learned on the road of love?
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Comments (26)
Avoid the too good to be true. If he seems overly sweet, overly considerate, overly romantic just over the top, he's got a bad side to him waiting to pop out.
What are the lesson's you've learned on the road of love?
WOW I am extremely surprised that is actually a good question.
I have learned that when it comes to women (and men) that we live in an ocean that is absolutely filled with millions of fish everywhere just waiting for us to enjoy the variety.
I have also learned that desperate people with low self esteem are always the ones who are looking for that magical monogamous "soul mate". They operate from a mindset of scarcity.
but it's so hard not to want what you can't have.....
The main lesson I have learned more than once is that nice guys can be assholes too! Everyone knows about the bad boys that treat girls poorly, or play games and then just leave them. I have more experiance going out with "good" guys that just don't seem to know what they want to begin with and then decide to screw me over later rather than sooner!
even if he is perfect, he may not be perfect for you. being comfortable is not enough - there will be someone you will be head over heels in love with everyday of your life. if that's not him, then move on. it's hard, but you'll be happier in the end.
where do i even begin...
If she doesn't have a good relationship with her dad (or even one around) I probably wouldn't go for it because she may try to use you to replace the father figure she should already have.
@dragon_king@xanga - hey be nice lol. some people grow up without a fatherly figure :P that's an interesting point you make though. how can you even tell the difference btwn someone trying to replace a fatherly figure and someone genuinely looking for a relationship?
Avoid letting parents find out anything personal...
Love lessons learned.....
1. You might not always be "in love" with a person forever, but it doesn't mean you don't love that person.
2. Be honest about your feelings, even if it'll hurt yourself or your partner. It may get you into a lot of trouble, but save you from it too.
3. Most importantly..... love must be secured in able for it to last. There are different ways to secure love, find out yours.
even if you have a lot of things in common, doesnt mean that hes the one
always find out both sides to the person. good and bad.
don't give them your heart that easily, make him earn every ounce of it.
someone needed to show my boyfriend this list before he got back with me for the third time hahahaha.
You should never be afraid to take risks... regrets will always catch up with you in the end.
Never give up on anyone... but if the time comes when they don't want you around anymore, let them go.
i ain't messin' with no broke joke.
I've learned to look past a person's flaws.
@jen_ni9@xanga - @dragon_king@xanga - so you're punishing potential girlfriends for something they probably can't control, remember, you can't choose your family.
@jen_ni9@xanga - my ex had this issue. Her dad wasn't around a lot so it made our relationship hard because she kept looking to me to give her ALL of her affirmation, some of which her dad should have given to her as a young girl. Not trying to be mean-I'm just speaking from experience.
@SexInChurch - hold on a second-now I am NOT PUNISHING ANY potential girlfriends-OBVIOUSLY they can't control/pick their family-but they can't expect a guy they are with to REPLACE their dad-again, I'm speaking from experience
@dragon_king@xanga - Of course not, I wouldn't expect you to. I interpreted your comment as you saying that any girl with a bad father-daughter relationship is a deal breaker for you. I would hate to see someone close the door on a person that may be the one over a ridiculous societal perception/stereotype.
Oh, where do I begin... Hmmm.
You're not complete because you're with someone. You're already complete as an individual. Don't let anyone "complete" you.Basically...
If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. If it's not, then it's just not your time yet.
That is just the way I see things... lol.
my failed relationships have all been different each time but one thing i've learned about myself during these failed relationship is to be true to myself and never let others get in the way of what i'm looking for.
I've learned that you should never try to change a person.
If you say you're going to try to forgive someone, try really hard and deliver that forgiveness. Don't dwell on the past mistakes and let go, or you'll ruin the relationship.
#1 is a biig problem for me...