I heard a story the other day of a man who was in his early twenties and had never kissed anyone because he claimed that he wanted his first kiss to be on his wedding day. My initial response to this was "aw, how sweet!," but after I thought about it some more I began to see more and more issues with this.
In my own experience a lot of my attraction for someone is in how I like the way they kiss me. Kissing styles must line up.
Bottom Line: Kissing is Important!
I can't imagine waiting for my wedding day to kiss someone for the first time. What if they are a terrible kisser? I would, personally, hate to be standing in front of people watching my first kiss. Kissing takes practice. It's something that only gets better with time and experience.
What do you think of this decision: do you think it's a good idea to wait until your wedding day to kiss or do you think there are benefits to kissing beforehand?
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Comments (82)
I think that in theory the idea is kinda cute, sweet even. But in reality... I DON'T THINK SO. I mean hey lets face it, us ladies, love to be affectionate with our mates. We like to be held, kissed, tickeld and a ho st of other things. I'm not about to date any man and not kiss him til our wedding day. What if he and I don't get married, what if we break up before then? What if we get married and I discover that he kisses like a labrador retriever
Nope I'm sorry, I'm not waiting that long before I kiss my SO, it would make more sense if he had said he wanted to wait to have sex on his wedding night. Thats doable, but not kissing.... Don't you believe it (using an ominous voice).
I think his idea is sweet but, on practice, makes him a bit of a weirdo..or someone who doesn't know how relationships works...if he doesn't even want to apply on "basis"...how he'll spend the engagement period? talking about bills and neighborhood?
@nubian_qween@xanga - ahahah kisses like a labrador retriever... :) Actually once I kissed a girl who bitten me as a Rottweiler...no good to keep on dating her :)
Cute idea in theory, but would never work in practice.
None of us really know. Maybe it works out if both of them never kissed anyone. They wont know what they're missing...and they'll get better together...
right?
if both parties had never kissed anyone prior to their marriage, then neither would know what they were missing. The couple, if the first kiss wasn't as expected, could work on making it better and practice on each other. Personally, I haven't waited to kiss my boyfriend and I'm completely fine with it.
initially, when I was younger, I decided that I was going to wait. That was until I met the man I love...and ended up kissing him. XD
@feelslikejuly@xanga - Exactly.
I have two good friends who did that.... they didn't even kiss until their wedding day. Yes, weird. But apparently it's been good for them.
Me, on the other hand. No. I don't think I could do that unless something extreme happened.
@NiDH0GG@xanga - Definitely NOT cute to be bitten like a Rottweiler (which incidentally is rather painfull) lol.... Yeah it does make him a bit of a weirdo. To boot this seems like the kind of guy who isn't adventurous at all, has the personality of a corrugated cardboard box and discusses something so boring you would rather be dead.
That is weird... and I'd say more harmful long term, but to each his / her own.
@nubian_qween@xanga - yeah..life is a matter of experiences...kissing is not a big deal as losing virginity (for someone) or bad like doing drugs...he should get a life... :)
I really don't see the point in denying yourself all that time. I thought I was a late starter at 15... In fact the girls in my year used to think I was a prude. One girl dumped me after a week because I refused to French kiss her. She and her best friend then stood outside my classroom and danced like chickens. Nice.
Check out my dating blog: http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
@NiDH0GG@xanga - and a few hobbies wouldn't kill him either. I mean hey to each his own but man, that could be the downfall of a relationship, not kissing for some. I just know it's not for me. I'm affectionate like that, so I need my mate to be the same way. But I wish him the best of luck with that venue, I hope it works out for him.
Honestly, if you've never kissed anyone before you aren't going to know what a good or bad kiss is. I used to want to wait until my wedding day for my first kiss...but that was kind of hard to do when my love language is physical touch. I do know a few couples that waited to have their first kiss on their wedding day or the day before (because they didn't want it to be awkward for them being the first kiss and all). So I know it's happened and it has worked for them.
Horrible idea. This dude has been brainwashed. I blame Disney. Manipulative bastards.
Of course when they first started putting out their cinematic renditions of tradition tales, people were getting married in their mid-late teens. Liiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit different when you wait till you're mid-late 20's.
Hell, they held onto that idea for wayyyyyyyyy too long. I mean, Disney takes some creative liberties with their characters and the stories and I think they should have bumped Ariel's age up a bit. She was SIXTEEN in the Little Mermaid which came out in 1989. In case you're either unfamiliar with the film or missed my point, she got married in that movie. At sixteen. To some guy who probably has close to a decade on her.
I went to my cousin's wedding a few years ago, and I had found out during the wedding that he and his wife were about to have their first kiss. I was really surprised by it, since I'm pretty sure that's a very rare thing. I personally wouldn't do that. I don't think it really makes sense to marry someone who you haven't experienced any real intimate affection with. To me, it's important to experience all of that to see how "perfect" you are together, and to see if you are really meant to be together and married. Just my opinion.
I agree, ridiculous. Put having sex in for kissing, and there's another thing I agree with. Sex after marriage has never made sense to me. Oh well, too late now. Haha.
I know it's worked for some people, even some here on Xanga, but I personally think it's ok to kiss before the wedding.
I think it is a respectable thing to do, though hardly logical. It's very admirable if a person can wait though!
Uhm a Kissing virgin? Hell to the NO! I won't even consider marrying someone if I don't know how they are in the sack. What if he can't get it up or if he's 5 sec Tom? Next....
What I dont undestand is...how do a couple manage to wait until their wedding day...i mean when they were dating....i would freak out if someone tells me " im not gonna kiss you until our wedding day" o_O we are just dating...maybe we fall in love and get married but now we are just dating..
This isn't really a new idea, especially in religious circles. I think it's perfectly fine and have known many couples who have done this. I didn't, but my husband was only the second person I'd ever kissed.
The point a lot of people are missing is that love conquers everything. If you love each other, you will work through anything that isn't 100%. I just don't buy this theory of "oh, I have to know that we're compatible in every single way before we get married". Sorry, but that would never have worked for me.... I need a little mystery in my life.
@Maria - No one's withholding from the other... it's a mutual decision. It's usually part of a courtship, as opposed to a dating relationship (which can often be confused as the same thing, but they're definitely not).
I could understand waiting to have sex, but not kissing. With kissing you could feel the potential for...more.
My first kiss sucked! At that time, I was seriously considering waiting to have my first kiss for my wedding day, but after we kissed that first time, I was so glad we didn't wait. We had no idea what we were doing.
@Utoppia - Haha, I think that's why people who wait want to get with other people who have also waited... That's why Christians all think they're the shit in the sack. And who are their spouses to disagree with them?