Friday, 19 March 2010
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Guys in Love with Marriage
I have a friend that's only known this girl for no more than three months. They're both only 19 and they're already engaged and planning the wedding. The fact that he started dating her while he was still breaking up with the previous girl whom he was so in "love" with apparently doesn't matter. Is it just me who thinks it's a bit soon in all aspects of the relationship for them to be getting married? I'm friends with one of his ex's from a while ago, according to her all he talked about was marriage with her too.
But he isn't the only guy I've known to be like this.
I dated someone who brought up marriage within three days of us knowing each other. He went on about how "fate" brought us together and how in love he was, and how he would commit suicide if I dumped him. Once I finally got out of that relationship a month later he's dating someone else.What makes some guys way more in love with the idea of marriage than others? Ladies, have you ever dated anyone like this? Guys, are any of you really eager to get married like this?
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- From: amyetta619@xanga
- About Me: I love animals and milk. End.
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Comments (43)
Getting married at 19? Uhhhhh.
I've talked about marriage with my firstest love. Only cause we were all sprung and such. And I was 14 haha.
sounds like what a tween-teen might say. i don't think an well adjusted adult that had a few dating experiences would say such things. when you're younger you see tiny misfortunes as something catastrophic. commiting suicide over a SO, i wouldnt say that guy is insane but just more melodrama-prone because of his age. i don't think many people our our age. 20< are in love with marriage.guys especially, im more in love with the idea of a wedding.
Every. Single. Guy. I date has been like this. I must be the "Take home to meet mom" type, as I attract the "Let's get married NOW" type.
The funny thing is, I am a commitment-phobe. It always makes for interesting relationships...
wow thats weird. what a creeper >.<
The first marriage proposal I got in my life? I was 6, and he was 7.
I suppose there are guys out there who are in love with the notion of marriage itself just like some girls are as well. I've never dated anyone like that, though my man does make jokes about it every now and then and that's fine by me.
My best friend is 20. He reaaallllyy wants to be married, but he uses his brain. I make him. He's tried to date all of the girls he knows, except me, but it never has worked out. I think he's about resigned himself to waiting awhile, now. I wouldn't let him talk about marrying a girl he'd only known for three months. He might initially think about it, but I can generally convince him that he's being stupid...except in the case of dating those girls...
Oh heck no-I'm not trying to get into the whole marriage thing after dating someone for 3 months-now 3 years is a different story
3 months? That's... Outta control. Yikes. I've encountered guys who have thoughts about getting married and not wanting to be alone. I avoid them.
Believe it or not, I know some dudes like this. It's kind of odd (doesn't matter if you're a dude or a lady) to be that way. I think it has more to do with a fear of being lonely then actually being in love with marriage.
As for your friends, getting married at 19 isn't a good move. I hope they really put some thought in it and delay that until they discover what they really want out of life and experience it a bit more.
@Lorelei - Ditto. Well, only in regards to dating. I don't let my best friend date bitches. Aw hell no. :D
hahaha yuppppp! And it scared me off!
it's definitely not the norm!
Yeah. Most of the guys I dated when I was single proposed within 3 dates. I'm not kidding! And I wasn't all that interested in marriage... certainly not to someone I'd just met and not in general either. And then there was that whole spiel about how they wanted me to be the mother of their children too. This, after the fiasco of marriages 1 and 2 while I'm raising two children on my own and just relieved from being out of the stress of bad marriage. I broke it off with them immediately at that point. Couldn't deal with it at all. Present hubby - despite having been divorced after an 18-year nightmare of a rocky marriage himself - proposed to me daily for 5 years before I finally gave in and married him. What's stranger is that we weren't even really romantically involved so much as best friends and platonic room mates - which is the only reason I didn't break up with him for proposing. It's strange how eager men are to marry these days when women are so ambivalent about it. Why?
YESSS I was just talking to (not even dating!) a guy who within like a day started calling me his girlfriend and the whole 9 yards. He was saying 'i love you' withing a week. and when I tried to break it off because we were obviously in two differnet state of minds he was like "we are meant to be...God brought us together...I cant live with out you...blahblahblah" it was boarderline stalker... Some men are just plain crazy
Maybe they're scared of not ever finding someone to settle down with? Sigh,You can never find guys with the right balance.
..Except with my boyfriend =)
it's not the age that bothers me about this (i know people who've gotten married young and are still together today, in their 40's and 50's), it's that they've been dating for 3 months.
i mean...i guess when you know, you know, but 3 months is hardly enough time to be a couple.
I think these guys are just doing what they think society wants them to do. Some guys have this fantasy of what life should be like just like some girls have a fantasy of what life should be like. They think marriage will be just a grown up version of playing house. I've known 3 guys like this. One of them asked me to marry them right out of high school. I was like why?
I hate it when people threaten suicide to coerce you into doing something that you don't necessarily want to do like he is bribing my love. I'd run as fast as I can from these psychos. creepy guys stalked me before. they didn't propose, just annoyed me.
@Utoppia - Exactly. A LOT of girls are like this... Why is it a double standard for guys?
Either way, 3 months isn't enough time to completely decide weather or not you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, especially not at 19.
I can say that I have a handful of friends thinking about marriage lately. We just graduated from high school and I am already hearing talks of how I must help them with the wedding arrangements. I stared at my friend wide-eyed when she first mentioned the words marriage to me. I mean, we just graduated and we're 18. We have a couple of more years to find are perfect match. Also, one of my former boyfriend who's a good friend of mine now is engaged. Apparently, he asked her on their 6 months. I'm not jealous, I have a new boyfriend now, but this is insane. When I think of being engaged with someone I think knowing them for at least a year, knowing all their perfections and flaws, living with them for a few months, making sure to have a future planned out (the beginning going smoothly anyway). Yet, they've been together a year now and he doesn't go to college, he has nowhere to work, his only option is enlisting in the army, and I forgot to mention she's still a senior in high school. I'm so disappointed in him that he hasn't thought this through and I known him for 5 years, he's always been afraid of being alone and the moment one girl shows that she might stick around for a bit longer then the last he's hooked. I'm afraid that he might make mistake of thinking she's "the one".
Wow. Sorry for the rant. It's been on my mind a lot and I have thought about marriage with my current boyfriend. We've been dating 5 months now but both of us agree that if we still are together by the end of our school career then we're meant to be. If not, then nothing can change what happens. I think its a smart choice. I mean, if you're going to marry someone it doesn't matter how long you have to wait till they're finally officially yours. Right?
haha some guys are like that. i guess both genders sometimes feel the same way
There are those who aren't afraid to commit. Some know what they want sooner than others and that's okay. If you feel that 3 months is too early for you, you don't have to get married after 3 months. If they are happy, that is all that matters, right?
I can't imagine even thinking about marriage right now. I've never dated a guy who was all up on the idea about getting married. Dating as teenagers and young adults is for fun. Not to say that relationships at those ages aren't serious and shouldn't be taken seriously, but definitely not so seriously that you're looking for the one you're going to marry. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and we were friends for a year before that and we've talked about marriage, but we both also said we wouldn't get married to anyone until we were older and settled into our lives.
Oh goodness, 19!? Thats a little young to be so serious and ready to get married!! Buuuut its not unheard of. A lot of my friends from high school settled down young, I think its kind of like this weird norm these days. I had my first marriage proposal when I was 17, I was freaked the hell out and we broke up shortly after. Had my second when I was 19, at that time I didnt even consider ever getting married and was like, "Nah, Im happy where we are." We continued dating for 3 years. My third proposal was in 2008 and that time I said yes. :) I was 21 when I got married and my husband and I had known each other since high school. It didnt take him a couple months to ask me, it took him 8, which I dont think is too bad. We talked about marriage every now and then and were gonna wait a bit to tie the knot once we were engaged but he ended up getting the green light to deploy, so things moved along a lot quicker after that.
I think if you know you've found "the one" then marriage talking so early is okay. I mean, if you feel it and you know this is the person then why not? But not when youre not even old enough to drink, you dont know who the one is at that age.